


I Got You

by tricia_16



Series: I Got You [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Mating, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Dean (only once), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Jealous Castiel, M/M, Matchmaker Sam, Oral Sex, Rutting, Virgin Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-24 02:03:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 88,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9694946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tricia_16/pseuds/tricia_16
Summary: Sam is tired of watching his brother and Castiel dance around one another. He decides to take matters into his own hands and plans a no-hunting-allowed vacation on the beach of sunny Florida to try and get them together.Watch while Dean struggles to accept his feelings for Castiel and then as the two of them attempt to navigate how to be in a relationship when neither of them have a clue.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fic, so please be gentle :)
> 
> This fic is now complete! Thank you so much to everybody who commented and kept me motivated to keep writing!
> 
> I am open to any and all constructive criticism so don't be shy!

Dean shuffles into the kitchen of the bunker, eyes squinted at the damn light to stop it from scalding his brain. He feels like this every morning before he has his first cup of coffee.

He doesn't have to be able to see straight to know that Sam is sitting at the kitchen table with his laptop all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, as usual. Probably doing research.

"Hey," Sam says as he spins in his chair to look at Dean, "So get this -"

Sam stops when he sees Dean hold his hand up in a relaxed state of the universal sign for _wait_. Sam frowns and shakes his head as he waits impatiently for Dean to pour himself a cup of coffee (black, the way _real men_ drink it as far as Dean’s concerned) that Sam left in the coffee pot for him. Dean takes a long drink from the over-sized mug and gasps as the heat makes its way down his throat, and in his mind, directly into his veins. A beat later he turns to look at Sam and nods as if to say, _You were saying?_

Sam rolls his eyes at his big brother out of sheer force of habit before he begins talking again. "Anyway -"

The sound of footsteps interrupts Sam once again as Castiel slowly makes his way into the kitchen and stands too close to his brother. At this point it would be weird if he left a normal amount of space between them, Sam muses. Cas is slightly more cheerful than Dean first thing in the morning, but for an angel who doesn't sleep to begin with, he still isn't really a morning person. "Hello, Dean. Sam."

Dean grunts a hello before taking another drink of coffee. Castiel notices Dean's mug is still almost full so knows not to take the grunt personally, and then Sam tries to talk again. "Hey, Cas. I'm glad you're here. I was just about to tell Dean I think we should take a vacation."

Dean makes a choking sound as he inhales too much coffee at once. "I’m sorry, _what_?" he manages to croak out. Cas gives him a too-hard pat on the back to help him out and Dean shrugs him off, annoyed by the typical overreaction.

Sam smiles at both of them. "It's the beginning of the off-season and I noticed some hotel prices went way down. I figured we deserved to splurge a little bit, and with the ocean so close, we could take some time for a vacation while we can."

Dean laughs, "Seriously, Sammy? A vacation? For us?"

Sam smiles again. "Seriously. The price is right, we’re in between cases, the world isn't about to end... and I think we should take advantage of it before it’s too late."

Castiel adds, "Forgive my ignorance. It's the beginning of the off-season for what, exactly? Hunting? I wasn't aware there was such a thing."

Sam shakes his head, "No, Cas. It's the beginning of the off-season for tourism, buddy. In Florida."

Dean's jaw drops and his eyes widen, "FLORIDA!? You seriously want us to go to Florida?"

Sam smiles wide and says, "Yah. It'll be nice to soak up some sun for once, am I right?"

Dean's face breaks out in a dazzling smile. Visions of the three of them ogling girls in skimpy bikinis running down the shore fills his mind. Suddenly he turns towards Castiel and starts chuckling. Castiel squints his eyes and looks at Dean before asking, "Did I miss something? What's funny, Dean?"

Dean gives Cas a lazy pat on his shoulder as he drinks down the rest of his coffee in one gulp. "Nothin', man. I was just thinking about how you'll _definitely_ be the only guy on the beach in a trench coat." He looks at Sam with a bright smile and says, "He'll probably get arrested for looking like a pedophile on the beach."

Castiel takes offense to that statement and says, "I do not 'look like a pedophile', Dean. Wearing a trench coat is perfectly fine. Many fashionable people wear them. Right, Sam?"

Sam frowns and says, "As much as it pains me to admit it Cas, I think Dean might be right. If you want to come along I think you're gonna have to leave the trench coat behind. Actually, we're all going to have to pack differently than we usually do. There won't be much need for flannel and jeans on the beach," he jokes.

It's Dean's turn to frown when he sets his coffee cup down sharply and says, "You know I don't do shorts."

Castiel perks up at this a little and gets a glint in his eye before he responds, "You don't want to look out of place on the beach in your jeans."

Dean shoots Cas a look and crosses his arms across his chest as if offering a challenge. "Fine. I'll wear shorts if you wear shorts."

Cas crosses his arms in retaliation and says, "Fine. But I haven't had an occasion for which I would have purchased shorts in the past."

Sam closes his laptop, stands at the table, and nods his agreement. "Dean doesn't have shorts either. I have some running shorts and maybe one pair of swim shorts, but I could use more, too. We'll stop at WalMart on the way?"

Dean and Cas both nod their assent without looking at each other. Sam rolls his eyes again as he turns away from them and mutters to himself, "Well... this should be interesting."

*****

An hour later, Castiel finds himself in a change room in Wal-Mart for the first time in his life. In shorts. He is mentally cursing Dean and his own stupid sense of pride for being goaded into this. He feels naked. Surely it isn't normal for angels to walk around with half of their legs showing. He knows he looks ridiculous. Logically he tells himself he would look better without the long sleeve dress shirt and tie on with his shorts, but he can't bring himself to take off _more_ clothes.

He hears somebody clear their throat loudly and then, "Hey, uh, Cas? Everything all right in there?"

He sighs, resigned. "Thank you, Sam. It's fine. I suppose it will just take some time to get used to being half naked."

Sam laughs. "Do they fit okay or do you need a different size?"

Castiel looks at himself in the mirror and wonders how he's supposed to know if he has the right size. "Um. I'm afraid I've never had to shop for clothing before. I just wear what my vessel already had. How does one tell if he has the right size?"

Suddenly he hears Dean's gruff voice from the room next to him, "Jeeze man, it ain't rocket science. If they stay up and you can move around in them they're probably fine, Cas."

Cas frowns as he looks at himself in the mirror again. He can see his hip bones when he lifts his shirt and plenty of skin below his navel. Does that count as staying up? "Um..." he hears himself say.

"Cas, why don't you come out and we can make sure they're okay before you buy them, alright?" Sam asks. "Dean, quit being a jerk."

"Shut up, bitch," Dean says automatically as he comes out of the change room with shorts in hand and a smile on his face. Sure, he doesn't usually wear shorts, but that doesn't mean he _can't_ wear shorts. He looks damn fine in them all if he's any kind of judge.

Suddenly, the other change room door opens and Cas stands there looking absolutely ridiculous in his pink palm tree printed board shorts, dress shirt, tie, and sock feet. Dean's face instantly splits into a _Christmas just came early grin_ but this time Sam puts his hand up to stop him before he gets the chance to say anything. "They look fine, Cas."

"Pink, Cas? Seriously?" Dean laughs.

Cas frows. "What's wrong with pink? I like pink."

"Nothing is wrong with pink." Sam assures Castiel. "I said, _shut up_ , Dean. Lift up your shirt so we can see how the waist is on you," he says to Cas.

Dean watches as Cas lifts his shirt up enough to expose a few inches of tanned skin and a surprisingly toned stomach - not that Dean notices that kind of thing. He feels his mouth go a little dry and his face turns slightly pink as he takes in the sight of Cas's shorts riding so low on his hips they’ve gotta be kept up by magic. Seriously, what is with those hip bones? Never in his life has his mouth gone dry because of hip bones on a dude. But there’s just something... _different_ about seeing so much of Cas’s skin when he's only ever seen his body under so many layers.

"Dean?" he hears Sam say.

Suddenly his brain registers that was not the first time his name has been called. He gives his head a shake and says, "Yah, what?" He’s embarrassed to hear how gravelly his voice sounds, so he clears his throat nervously.

"I said, I think Cas needs a size smaller. No way are these going to say up in the water." Dean's mind goes absolutely blank. "Can you grab him a smaller pair to try?" Sam continues.

"Why don't you do it?" Dean asks, and it comes out a little more rough than he intended.

Sam sighs and throws him a classic Sam bitch face. "Fine. I'll be right back, Cas. Take those off so you can try the other size."

Dean looks back to Cas just in time to see his thumbs slide into the waistband of his shorts as if he’s going to pull them down right then and there when he shouts, "Woah! Shut the door first, man. What the hell are you doing?"

Castiel looks blankly at Dean for a moment before he says, "My apologies," and shuts the door behind him.

Dean lets out a long but quiet sigh as he leans back against the wall and closes his eyes trying hard not to actively think about Cas pulling his shorts down when he can hear the swish of the fabric hitting the floor. What the hell is the matter with him? His mind’s goin’ all over the place and his body is acting like he’s a horny teenager again. Obviously, it’s been too long since he's been laid. He'll have to take care of that before they spend too much time on the beach.

Sam returns with the smaller sized shorts but before Dean can be subjected to seeing Cas half-dressed again, he takes off to wait outside the bank of change rooms. Five minutes later, all three guys are ready to check out with a few pairs of board shorts, regular shorts, t-shirts and sandals for each of them. Despite the weird things his body was doing not too long ago, Dean shakes it off and is still really looking forward to some time on the beach. They almost never get a vacation, and he's going to enjoy it, dammit.


	2. Chapter 2

After a rather uneventful drive to Florida with Sam riding shotgun and Cas in his usual seat in the back, Dean finally pulls into what looks like a pretty fancy hotel. Dean looks sideways at Sam and raises his eyebrows. "You sure this is the right place, Sam?"

Sam nods, "I told you, I got a good deal." As he gets another skeptical look from Dean he adds, "And besides, we deserve this, don't we?"

"Who are you and what have you done with the _real_ Sam?" Dean jokes.

"This _is_ your brother Sam, Dean. I assure you I would know if he was an impostor," Castiel reassures Dean, not catching the sarcasm.

"Both of you shut up and let's go," Sam responds laughing.

They do their usual check-in routine and are happy to find they scored a room with two beds and a couch so that nobody has to share for once. They walk a short distance down the sidewalk to their room and Dean notices happily that not only does their room face the beach, but that there's a vending machine right across the hall, too. If that ain't a good omen, he doesn't know what is.

Sam unlocks and then holds open the door for Cas and Dean to walk through. Dean is immediately impressed with the clean, modern-looking hotel room. It looks more like a small apartment than a hotel room actually, he notices as he takes in the vast, open space. There’s a patio door at the back of the room leading directly to the sandy beach, a small table where they can eat, and he sees the couch and a bed. Next thing he knows, Sam has pushed past him and jumps onto the largest of the beds while calling, "DIBS!" It's only after Dean sees the triumphant smile on Sam's face that he notices that there's a set of doors on either side of the bed. "That's riiiight!" Sam gloats, "I got the bed in my own little room so I don't have to listen to you snore for once! Ha!"

Dean scowls, "More like I don't have to listen to _you_ snoring. Right, Cas?"

"You both snore," Cas supplies dryly. "I believe I am best suited for the private room so I can watch Netflix while you two are sleeping."

Sam and Dean both laugh at that without taking him seriously whatsoever before Dean launches himself towards the remaining double bed and calls, "DIBS!" Cas glares at them both for a second before walking over to the couch and setting his own bag down sadly. "Aw, come on, Cas. You don't sleep anyway. You'll be okay on the couch, right buddy?"

"Yes Dean, I'll be more than comfortable here. Thank you," he replies, immediately feeling better now that Dean has checked on him.

A little while later, they're all settled into their respective places in the hotel. Sam is happily doing whatever he does on his laptop, and Castiel sees Dean check his watch for the third time in as many minutes. "Is something wrong, Dean?" he asks.

"Huh? No, not really. I was just thinking it's still a few hours until supper, right? Anybody wanna check out the beach?" he adds an eyebrow wiggle for good measure. 

Cas and Sam exchange looks that seem to say  _why not_ and Dean fist-pumps in victory. "Hot chicks in bikinis, here I come!" He's up and in the bathroom to change into his swimming trunks before the other two have a chance to move a muscle.

Sam says, "You can change here, Cas. I'll close these doors and change in my room."

Castiel nods and gets to it.

He pulls off his usual clothing, and has just pulled his shorts all the way up when Dean opens up the bathroom door and is about to walk into the main area of the room when he stops dead. Castiel has never seen Dean in board shorts before and he notices they make him look much younger and more care-free somehow. The thought makes him smile shyly. The bright colors of his shorts really bring out the darker tones in Dean's skin, he thinks. They stand there staring at each other for who knows how long, before Dean gives his head another shake and Castiel wonders vaguely why Dean has been doing that lately. He still finds humans so odd sometimes.

Dean clears his throat and says, "You uh, probably still wanna put a shirt on to walk down to the beach."

It's then that Castiel notices he's been standing there literally half naked in front of Dean and his eyes go wide as his hands automatically come up to cover his naked chest. He starts to sputter some kind of reply but the awkward moment is broken when Sam's door opens and he emerges in his shorts and sleeveless t-shirt.

"Only douche bags wear shirts with no sleeves, Sammy." Dean says seriously.

"Shut up, Dean. Ready to go, Cas?"

Castiel pulls a shirt over his head, messing up his already messy hair even more, and his feet slip into flip flops as he scrunches his nose up.

Sam notices, "What?"

"How do people walk in these?" Castiel asks as he wiggles his toes on the strange-feeling rubber.

"You'll get used to it. It's easier in the sand. Come on, man. Let's go before Dean leaves us here and we don't see him again for the rest of the week."

They walk out the door and start towards the beach. Dean smiles, "You know I'm going to be a babe-magnet out there, right? Don't wait up if we get separated," he adds with a wink.

"Don't act as if you won't seek us out immediately once you're hungry, Dean. I expect we have less than two hours before your stomach starts grumbling from apparent starvation. Again," Castiel retorts.

Dean gives a cold smile, "We'll see about that, angel-boy."

Castiel scoffs at the name and starts to say something before he hears Sam sigh. "Can you two get along for five minutes?"

"Don't worry Sammy," Dean says, "I'm sure I'll feel much cheerier after a few hours in the sun and a night with a willing woman."

Castiel and Sam share an eye-roll behind Dean's back.

As they walk closer to the beach something becomes apparent to all three of them almost at once. "Uh, Sam?" Dean asks.

"I don't know, Dean," Sam answers without even needing to hear the question.

"Is this typical for a beach in the beginning of the off-season?" Castiel asks, taking in the fact that there is not another person either on the beach or in the water for as far as he can see.

Dean shrugs. "Who cares! Let's go check out the water!"

All three of them unceremoniously drop their towels and sun glasses, kick off their flip flops ( _Sam was right, it is easier to walk in them in the sand_ , Castiel thinks) and pull their shirts up over their heads.

Sam spreads his towel open along the sand and makes himself comfortable with a book. "You two go ahead," he says, and hides his smile as he gets his stuff together.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"People tell me, "You stay where you belong,_  
>  But all my life, I've tried to prove them wrong..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate all of your Kudos and comments! If you want to find me on Twitter (where I do post fic updates and thoughts) my handle is tricia_16_
> 
> Thanks everybody! Enjoy!

Dean wastes no time at all and takes off running at full speed for the water. He splashes through the shallow water and lets out a delighted laugh at just how perfectly cool the water temperature is, and then dives face-first into an oncoming wave. As he happily sinks into the relaxing feel of the weightlessness surrounding his body he feels his heart leap in his chest and recognizes this is the first time he's felt joy unrelated to killing some sort of monster in longer than he can remember.

Castiel is standing on the edge of the water tracking Dean's movements like a hawk. He doesn't have any experience with the water or swimming, and he doesn't know how long is normal for Dean to be underwater. He does know he can't breathe under there and that makes him nervous. Dean makes his way to the surface and shakes the water and wet hair off of his face with one of the biggest, most brilliant smiles Castiel has ever seen on his face. They make eye contact across the water and Castiel feels a twist inside his stomach. He can't help but smile back at Dean. He looks happier than he can ever remember seeing him. Suddenly, Castiel is very fond of vacation, and even of the water he was so skeptical about a minute ago, as he mindlessly makes his way closer to Dean.

 _Holy shit_ , Dean finds himself thinking. If he thought he was going to be able to act cool seeing Cas shirtless and smiling at him like that, he has never been more wrong. He doesn't want to explain what he's feeling right now to himself, so he pushes it down like he always does and just enjoys watching Cas making his way through the water, trying not to focus on the drops of water that make their way down his body as the waves splash against him.

Castiel is in the water up to his waist before he makes eye contact with Dean again and then stops. "Dean?"

"Yah, Cas?"

Castiel looks back at Sam, then down at the water and at the distance between where he stands and where Dean is clearly staying afloat by doing something with his arms and legs that he doesn't know how to do. "I can't swim."

Dean can't mask his surprise. " _You can't swim_? You're old as shit Cas, how can you not swim?"

Castiel is not impressed. "In your state of ecstasy you seem to have forgotten that while I am 'old as shit', I’m also an Angel of the Lord. And though there are many things I am able to do that you cannot even begin to fathom, I have not had a reason as of yet to learn how to swim. I'm not a fish."

Dean snorts, "'I'm not a fish.'" He mocks, laughing at the angel. "Alright, come here. I'll help you, you big baby."

Castiel looks at the space between them again and says, "I don’t feel comfortable coming that far out into the water, Dean." He swallows thickly. Is this fear he is feeling? "Can you come to me, please?"

Dean smiles again, but Castiel thinks it's at least a friendly smile this time.

"Not a bad idea, actually," Dean says as he closes the distance between them. "I don't want to be responsible for you drowning. Shallow water makes more sense."

Dean is now standing within arm’s reach of Cas. Castiel has seen Dean's body more times than he can count, but he is sure he has never seen him with little drops of water cascading down his bare chest before. He can't seem to stop his eyes from following the path they make as they run over his body. Not for the first time, he is struck by how perfect Dean's human body is. It's really an extraordinary homage to his Father's work. As he meets Deans eyes once again he sees Dean is looking at him in almost the same way he's looking at Dean. They both smile somewhat awkwardly at each other before Dean begins to teach Castiel how to swim.

Sam watches the two of them from his spot on the beach and can barely resist yelling out, "Get a room already!" But he knows that will do more harm than good. Nobody who's ever been in the same room as his brother and Cas can deny they have _something_  going on between the two of them. For the longest time, Sam wasn't exactly sure what it was, but now he's pretty sure they have romantic feelings for one another. He doesn't want to interfere too obviously because he knows nothing would make his pig-headed brother pull away faster, but there's nothing he wants more in his life than to see his brother actually be happy, and he thinks Cas can do that. So, what's a better way to get them together than by subtly forcing them to spend time together on a vacation? No stress, some sun, seeing more of each other's bodies than they have before, along with getting some beer into Dean should really do the trick, he thinks to himself. And if he had to post some bogus online story about shark sightings at this beach...  well, nobody needs to know anything about that but him, he smirks, and goes back to his book.

"Okay," Dean says, "Now that you know how to kick your feet and move your arms, let's try it with you actually laying in the water instead of standing upright." Cas barely gets his mouth open to protest when Dean says, "I'll hold you up at first, okay?" Cas still looks nervous but he nods his consent. Dean doesn't think he's ever seen Cas look so freaked out before, and he's seen him in a lot of freakier situations than learning to swim. Who knew he'd be so weird about something so normal? "Kick up your feet and I'll hold you 'round the middle so you stay up, k?"

Castiel takes a deep breath and does what Dean asks, and just as his feet break the surface of the water he can feel Dean's rough hands hold on to either side of his stomach. His bare stomach. That's his last coherent thought before his head goes completely under water and he gets a mouth full of salty ocean water. Barely a moment later Dean has both arms around his waist to drag up to the surface again and he finds himself with his arms wrapped around Dean's neck, Dean's head pressed to his chest, and his own legs wrapped around Dean's waist, holding on like a scared child to a parent.

"You _said_ ," Castiel coughs out accusingly, "you'd help me stay up."

Dean looks up at where he knows Cas's head must be and lets out a strangled, "What the hell do you think I'm doing right now?" Castiel notices Dean's weird-sounding voice and realizes he's probably somewhat choking him just as Dean says, "Can you loosen the grip there a little bit, man? You can touch the freakin' ground with your feet, remember?"

Dean feels Cas loosen his grip which causes him to slide down Dean's body bit by bit before he feels his feet make contact with the ocean bed. At this point, Dean is basically crossed-eyed with all of these half-formed rated R thoughts he doesn't want to acknowledge having. Half of him wants to bury this down and forget it never happened, and the other half of him wants to pick Cas back up just to have that warm, soft skin pressed against him again. How is Cas's body that warm when they're in the cold water, anyway? Is that some kind of angel thing? It felt amazing. And when his head was pressed up against Cas's chest like that? It was like the world's best hug (if he wasn't also being strangled). Almost like a really great cuddling session... and apparently he's turning into a chick. What the fuck? He gives his head another shake. "What happened there, Cas? You seemed to be doing fine at first and then you just sank like a damn stone."

Castiel can't look at him in the face. "I... got distracted," he settles on. It isn't untrue.

"By what? We're the only people out here except for Sam," he says laughing. Then he raises his voice to a pitch he knows Sam will hear from the beach, "Who's a little bitch and won't even come in the water!"

Sam gives a lazy wave and looks down at his book as if he wasn't already watching every move the two buffoons are making in the water. _It's better than a soap opera_ , he thinks to himself.

"That isn't a matter of importance right now. I assure you it won't happen again," Castiel says seriously, though honestly, he has his doubts. "I think I'm ready to try again."

Dean looks impressed and says as much, "I'm impressed. I thought I'd have to convince you to go again. Heads up for this time, though? Keep your mouth closed if you go under water." He smiles broadly. "Keeps the water out." 

Castiel rolls his eyes, "Thank you for stating the obvious. I told you, I was caught off guard last time. I rarely make the same mistake twice." 

"Okay, okay, I'm just bugging you, buddy. Trying to make this easier on both of us, ya know?" Cas nods. "Okay, take two. You ready? I got you."

Sam continues to watch from the beach. Even from this far away he can see that neither his brother or the angel are easy with touching each other the way you would expect two people who spend so much time together to be. He really loves seeing Dean like this, though. Even with the tinge of awkwardness obviously hanging in the air, Dean is more care-free and has been smiling more since he got in the water than he's seen him smile in as long as he can remember. It doesn't surprise him to see Dean be patient and kind with Cas while he's teaching him how to swim. Dean managed to teach Sam to ride a bike after all, even though Dean never even had his own bike to ride. There was only one beat up old bike they found, and once Dean taught Sam he insisted that Sam use it whenever he wanted to - which was all the time, he remembers with a smile. He can see the same patience and enthusiasm in Dean with Cas now. Sam's been watching them for a good hour and he can tell both Dean and Cas are really happy with the progress Cas has made so far. He figures he's got about a half hour before Dean starts complaining of being hungry (again), so he begins to read in earnest in case Cas happens to ask him questions about the book. 

If Castiel thought Dean looked happy splashing into the water earlier, that is nothing compared to the face-splitting grin he sees when he swims across the water to him for the first time. "You did it, Cas!" Dean exclaims excitedly. "Maybe you're part fish after all! I can't believe how quickly you caught on to that, man! Good job!" he says as he gives Castiel an enthusiastic pat on the shoulder. 

"I am quite certain I am not part fish, but I appreciate the implied compliment and your help all the same. Thank you, Dean." As he is talking he sees something on the corner of Dean's shoulder behind him. "Turn around for a second," he asks. 

"Huh?" Dean asks, confused. "Why?"

“There’s something on your shoulder.”

Dean spins in place trying to look over his shoulder but Cas grabs him by the shoulders when his back is facing him on the second time around. Dean freezes the second he feels Cas’s hands on his body. Immediately, his heart rate speeds up and he’s suddenly self-conscious that Cas can tell. He doesn’t want to make it anymore weird than it already is though, so he stays still but tries to relax his muscles a little bit. He can feel Cas’s smooth, and again, freakishly warm fingers on his skin.

“It’s kelp,” Cas says as he pulls it off. Dean turns to face him and sees the _seaweed_ in his hand. Who says kelp? His eyes then move to Cas’s face and he notices they are standing way too close together… even for them. There are barely inches between them. He wonders if it’s the water reflecting in Cas’s eyes that makes them seem more blue than ever, or if they’ve always been this blue and he somehow didn’t notice before? Nah, no way he wouldn’t have noticed. It has to be the ocean. Cas wipes the seaweed off his hand into the water beside them and makes a face of disgust at how it must feel in his hands. Dean sees the way Cas’s lips twitch and then finds himself mesmerized by them. Were they always this pink? And why are they so dry looking?

“Why are your lips so dry?” he hears himself ask Cas. And then he can feel the heat rush to his cheeks. He didn’t mean to say that out loud, for fuck’s sake.

“Uh,” Cas’s tongue darts out automatically to wet his lips and as Dean zeros in on the movement ( _holy shit_ ) he realizes he has seen Cas do that a thousand times before. He purposely takes a step back to put some space between them. You know, like normal people. Because all of this is totally normal…

“That’s why!” Dean exclaims. “Stop licking them all the time. It just makes them dryer.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Castiel replies with his familiar eyebrow crease beginning to form. “Extra moisture should make them softer.”  
  
Dean shakes his head, “I’ll give you some stuff to put on them later. You’ll see. But seriously, stop licking them all the damn time.” Cas nods reluctantly. “You hungry?” Dean asks to change the subject.

“You know I’m never hungry, Dean,” Castiel answers with resignation. He doesn’t know why Dean always asks him this. It’s as if he _wants_ Cas to be hungry, and Castiel is certain this is something that will never happen.

Dean shrugs and smiles, “Yah, I know. But _I’m_ hungry. So let’s go get some food!” Dean wades into the water and calls back over his shoulder, “Race you to the shore!”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"They say I'm looking for_  
>  Something that can't be found.  
> They say I'm missing out.  
> My feet don't touch the ground."

Castiel shakes his head fondly at Dean as he watches him swim away as fast as he can, and doesn’t bother attempting to catch up. He knows how much Dean likes to win. He makes his way slowly but surely to the beach and is proud of the fact that he can swim most of the way there on his own before the water gets too shallow and he needs to walk the rest of the way. As he stands up he looks ahead to see Dean shaking his wet hair in Sam’s direction like a dog. It’s easy to see that Sam is not happy with the cold water being sprayed on him as he tries to shield his book with his body.

Sam stands up to put a stop Dean, but Dean jumps on to Sam’s back and grabs him around the neck, laughing manically at the high-pitched sounds of discomfort from Sam. Dean’s dripping wet body is now plastered against Sam’s very warm and very _dry_ body and Sam is not having any of it. Without warning he drops to his knees and then pushes all of his weight backwards. The force makes Dean’s hands let go and Dean finds himself flat on his back in the sand.

Castiel dries his body off with a towel (but lets his grace fix his hair) as he watches the two of them do what he can only assume most brothers do together. For a second he thinks of Gabriel and how he would have found all of this very amusing (and likely would have joined in himself) and he smiles at the thought. “Do you require assistance, Dean?”

Dean scoffs, “Yah, right. Like I haven’t been taking on this giant moose alone and winning for years.”

“No, taking me on and _losing_ ,” Sam replies proudly as he packs up his belongings. Dean scoffs again and rolls his eyes dramatically. “How does all that sand feel stuck to your back?” Sam teases.

“Like I care, Sammy. It’ll fall off by the time we get to the diner.”

“What diner?” Castiel asks as he pulls his head through his shirt.

“That one,” Dean points. Across the street from where they pulled into the parking lot Cas can see a restaurant with a flashing sign that says, _Burgers! Shakes! Beer!_ He didn’t notice it when they first got here, and he’s surprised Dean did considering how shocked he was about the hotel. Castiel looks back to Sam and Dean and sees that even though Dean now has his shirt on, he still has sand stuck to the back of his neck and in his hair.

“Perhaps we should stop back at the room and allow Dean to shower to get the sand off before you eat?” Castiel suggests.

“No way. I’m hungry! It doesn’t look like a classy place, it’ll be fine,” Dean insists. Sam and Cas both know better than to argue with a hungry Dean, so they make their way across the street to enter the diner.

They’re immediately greeted with a burst of air conditioning and a friendly, “Hey y’all, grab a seat anywhere and I’ll be right with you!” from a perky, pretty brunette.

Dean stands up straighter, shoots her a brilliant smile and replies back, “Thanks, darlin’.”

As soon as she turns away, Castiel sees Dean starting to brush the sand from the back of his neck more seriously now, and gives his hair a ruffle too, presumably trying to get the sand out of it as well. If Castiel notices there’s still a bit left in his hair and decides not to say anything, it’s only because he’s being polite.

Sam slides into a booth and places his book and towel beside him on the bench. Without another option (or a second thought, really), Cas and Dean slide in across from him and they all begin flipping through the menus that sit on the table. The waitress appears again and asks for drink orders. Sam politely orders water, Cas follows suit, and Dean flashes a charming smile at her and says, “I’ll have a beer…” He makes a show out of checking out her name tag and finishes with, “Jennifer.”

She huffs a laugh and says, “Well aren't you adorable. You can call me, Jen, sugar.” And with a seductive swish of her hips and a knowing glance back to Dean, she’s gone again.

Dean makes eye contact with Sam and raises his eyebrows. “And that’s how it’s done, Sammy.”

Sam shakes his head at his brother and doesn’t bother to look up from his menu when he replies, “You’re an idiot, Dean. She’s just being nice because she wants a big tip.”

“Oh, I’ll give her a big tip, alright,” Dean replies with another eyebrow wiggle.

Sam chooses to ignore that. “I’m going to order the chicken wrap and a salad. Burger and fries for you, I'm guessing?”

“Why mess with a good thing?” Dean responds happily. “What’re you having, Cas?”

Castiel shrugs. “You know there isn’t anything that tastes particularly good to me.”

“Still. It looks weird if you just sit here and don’t eat.”

“I don’t want anything,” he insists.

“Aw, come on, man. Pick anything you want. Maybe something you haven’t tried before. You might even you’ll like it!”

“I _said_ I don’t want anything!” Cas exclaims rather grumpily, if you ask Dean.

“Woah. Fine,” Dean says quickly. “What crawled up your ass?” And he shoots a look over at Sam.

Sam’s pretty sure he knows _exactly_ what Cas’s problem is. And now it’s his problem, too. Nothing’s ever going to happen between Cas and his brother if Dean takes off with this waitress, and he’s sad to say that’s exactly the direction he sees this heading in. He has to do something, but  he knows he can’t do anything too obvious in front of Dean or he’ll catch on and it’ll ruin everything.

“You two are seriously worse than children,” Sam says to them. “I need a coffee after all. I’ll be right back,” and he slides out of the booth and makes his way over to the counter where he can see their waitress filling their drink order. “Excuse me, Miss?”

She looks up, “Jen,” she responds with a polite smile.

“Jen, right. Would it be too much trouble to add a cup of coffee to my order? My brother and his _boyfriend_ are exhausting me,” he jokes with emphasis on the word boyfriend. He sees her go wide-eyed and she stops what she’s doing to look between him and the booth he just came from. He follows her gaze and sees Dean giving Cas a friendly nudge with his shoulder and the sad puppy dog look Dean always uses to get out of trouble with Cas. Cas’s resolve is already melting and he smiles adoringly at Dean’s ploy to get back on his good side. _They make it too easy for me_ , he laughs to himself. “They’re disgusting together sometimes, aren’t they?” he says with affection.

“Oh, um, yah. They’re awfully cute,” she replies. “I’ll bring your coffee over in just a sec, okay, hon?”

“Thanks so much,” he says. He smiles to himself as he turns back around and thinks, _mission accomplished._

Sam is barely back in the booth when the waitress comes back to the table to deliver their drinks and collect their orders. Even with Dean’s obvious attempts at flirting with her while they order, she remains polite but is clearly not responding the way Dean wants her to. He takes a long pull of his beer to drown some of the awkwardness of not having his flirtation reciprocated.

“Nothing for you, sweetie?” She asks Cas after Dean and Sam have ordered.

Before Cas can respond Dean says, “You can just share with me if you want?” Cas nods, and Dean adds, “Just don’t be stingy with the fries!”

She smiles sweetly at them and says, “I’ll throw some extra on there just for the two of you, as long as y’all don’t tell on me.”

“Thank you very much. We appreciate it,” Castiel responds over what he’s sure will be Dean’s attempt at another innuendo. Dean compensates by taking another drink of his beer as he nods his thanks and Castiel adds, “It appears Dean will require another beer before our food arrives as well.”

Sam has to cover his mouth with his hand to hide his smile. With the two of them sharing food, Cas using “we”, and ordering another beer for Dean, there is no way Jen will ever doubt the boyfriend story he told her. _They really do make it almost too_ _easy_ , he thinks again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"But there are moments when you can't deny what's true."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really nervous writing Dean's inner monologue here. As a woman who identifies as completely straight, it was hard to get into Dean's head space. Hopefully I have done his thoughts justice and haven't offended anybody.

After dinner, another three beer for Dean, and a slice of pie (of course) the boys are heading back to their room with full stomachs, and in Dean’s case, the beginning of a fuzzy head. Cas and Sam keep walking as Dean stops at the Impala to grab a cooler from the trunk.

“Really, Dean?” Sam asks, not needing to ask what’s inside.

“What? We’re on vacation!”

They’ve barely stepped through the door when Dean opens his sixth beer of the evening.

“Well, you guys have fun. I’m going to have a shower and then read for a bit before turning in. I think the sun must have taken a lot out of me today! I’m beat,” Sam says adding a stretch. He grabs some sleep clothes from his bag and walks to the bathroom for the shower he mentioned.

Dean flops on his bed, expertly not spilling a drop of beer, thank you very much, and asks Cas, “So? What ch’ya wanna do, buuuuuddy?”

Castiel stands awkwardly at the foot of Dean’s bed. “I assume you’re going to continue to drink alcohol for the remainder of the evening?”

Dean's smile is slow but charming, “I’m on vacation! Don’t mother hen me, okay?”

“I have no intention of ‘mother henning you,’” Castiel says, using air quotes. “I was merely asking to try to determine what we can do this evening. Obviously, you can’t drive anywhere, which limits our activities drastically since you won’t allow me to drive the Impala.”

Dean chuckles and drawls, “Nah, you could drive Baby.”

Castiel blinks. “Now I know you’re inebriated.”

Dean knows he laughs harder than is strictly warranted, but come on, Cas made a _joke_! “Seriously, though. If I can’t trust you who can I trust?” he asks dramatically. “You’re like a brother to me, man.”

Cas turns away pointedly and doesn’t say anything. Dean sits quietly for a few minutes looking around at nothing in particular and enjoys the fuzzy feeling from the beer before he realizes Cas hasn’t answered him. “Hell-ooo? Cas?”

“What, Dean?”

“I _said_ you’re like my brother,” Dean repeats.

“I know what you said,” Castiel answers. "I haven't gone suddenly deaf, after all."

“Ohhh-kay then,” Dean chuckles again.

It’s another couple of seconds before Castiel says quietly, “I hate when you say that.”

Dean is caught completely off guard. “ _What?_ Why?”

“Because I know the way you feel about your brother, Dean. And I know that there isn’t another person dead or alive who can even compare to how fiercely you love him. I felt the unconditional love you have for him when I raised you from Hell.” Dean looks away from Cas and finds a nice spot on the wall to concentrate on while he guzzles down some more beer. “And I don’t think that’s what you feel for me. I _know_ it’s not the same as what I feel for you. We’re not ‘brothers’.”

 _And there he goes with the air quotes again_ , Dean thinks, choking on his beer a little. It’s probably just Cas using the air quotes again that has his beer going down the wrong hole. Probably. He’s sure it has nothing to do with the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach, or the burn that has made its way across his cheeks, or the sweat that just broke out all over his body... He takes another drink from the can to try to wash down the bit that’s stuck in his throat. It works.

“Caaaassss,” Dean whines. “Do we _have_ to have a chick flick moment right now? You’re killing my buzz.”

Castiel lets out a sigh of defeat and says, “No. We don’t. But can you please refrain from calling me your brother?”

“Yah, yah, yah,” Dean waves him away. “What should I call you then, huh? Angel?”

Castiel is more surprised than anyone (except maybe Dean) when he hears himself say, “How about boyfriend?”

This time Dean actually does choke on his beer. After a few minutes of insisting he’s fine he decides the only way he can deal with this right now with Cas looking at him like that is to make it a joke. “Ha ha. You got me! Very funny, Cas.” His laugh sounds empty and forced even to himself, but it’s better than anything else he can think of to do right now. He definitely isn’t thinking about pulling Cas down onto the bed. Nope. Not thinking about that. It’s the beer causing these... non-thoughts... though. Obviously. _Cas doesn’t even know what the hell he’s saying_ , he thinks. He’s a freakin’ angel. He probably thinks boyfriend is something completely different than what it actually is. No sense embarrassing him (or himself) or making this any more awkward than it already is. Time to just breeze past it. “So, I’m thinkin' either Netflix or another swim? Or both? We can swim and then watch a movie, or watch a movie and go swimming once it’s cooled down outside?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go swimming when you have had this much to drink,” Castiel says solemnly.

“I’m _fine._  But whatever, _mom_. Let’s watch a movie, then. But first I want to change into my sweats. Pick something while I’m gone, and get me another beer too,” he says as he walks towards the bathroom. “And no chick flicks.” He leans against the closed bathroom door and yells at his brother, “Did you drown in there, Sammy?” Suddenly the door is opened from under him and it’s all he can do to catch his balance before he topples in head first. For some reason, he finds himself looking back over his shoulder to see if Cas witnessed any of that, and breathes a deep sigh of relief when he sees Cas is completely focused on the laptop open on Dean’s bed.

Sam sees all of this and raises an eyebrow at his brother. “Shut up,” is all Dean says as he walks past him, shoves him out of the bathroom and shuts the door between them.

Sam looks over at Cas and sees a wide smile on his face. He walks closer to him and says quietly, “You did see that, didn’t you?”

Castiel’s lips quirk as he replies, “Of course I saw it. You know I keep a close eye on him when he’s had this much to drink. He often becomes completely uncoordinated.”

“Yah, I’m sure _that’s_ why,” Sam says with a knowing smile and starts to walk away.

“Sam?” Castiel says in a loud whisper.

“Yah, Cas?”

Castiel waits a beat, not exactly sure what to say when he decides on, “Did you say something to that waitress at the restaurant to make her stop flirting with Dean?”

Sam stops dead in his tracks. He honestly did not expect Cas to pick up on that. He shrugs. “It’s not a big deal. I just didn’t want Dean to leave you here alone all night while he was gone out with her. We’re supposed to be spending time together, right?” He flashes a sweet smile Cas’s way, trying to put his mind at rest.

Castiel nods. “Right. Well, thank you, Sam.” And he turns to get back to the laptop.

Sam lets out a silent sigh of relief as he closes the doors to his room behind him. He’s going to have to be more careful. He thinks Castiel may be on to him.

Dean takes a couple of minutes to himself in the bathroom to mentally get his shit together. He looks himself in the eye in the mirror and thinks. His head has been all over the damn place in the last little bit, and it’s mostly because of Cas. He can admit to himself now, while he’s half-way drunk and Cas is safely on the other side of the door, that it’s freaking him the fuck out. He doesn’t know what’s happening to himself when he’s with Cas anymore. Well, he’s not stupid. He knows what his body has been doing when Cas is around. He just doesn’t understand _why_.

He has to close his eyes to block out the mental image of John Winchester’s disgusted sneer when he forces himself to quietly say, “I’m not gay.” He opens his eyes and looks at himself again and chuckles despite himself. _Of course_ he’s not gay. He doesn’t have to ask himself if he enjoys women and their bodies. It’s a no-brainer. There’s dozens of women out there who can vouch for _that_ , he laughs.

He’s distracted by his own highlight reel for a minute or so until he hears a smaller, quieter, almost-hidden part of him ask, _But what about Dr. Sexy?_ Well, that still doesn't make him  _gay_. It’s totally normal to have a crush on another dude. It’s not like he wants to get naked with the guy… though the thought of Dr. Sexy in nothing but those cowboy boots has crossed his mind a time or two. But still. That’s normal, isn’t it? He runs a hand through his hair as he wonders. He could ask Sam. As much as he’s a pain in the ass, Dean knows Sam would never make fun of him for asking the question. But he’s still in a place where he doesn't want to talk about this out loud. Probably ever.

The tiniest, littlest part of himself whispers, _what about Cas, though?_   and Dean has to turn away from the mirror completely as he swallows thickly. Cas is... different. If he’s going to be honest with himself - and for once he seems to be, maybe thanks to the beer - he has felt... _different_ around Cas for a long time. He didn't really know until Cas lied to him when he was working with Crowley behind his back, and it hurt so fucking much he knew there was something more than just best friend shit between them. Then he started kind of looking at Cas differently right around the time Cas Fell. Dean saw him as an actual human instead of an angel for the first time. Even now when he thinks about Cas losing his virginity to that fucking reaper he gets so mad he wants to start punching shit. He thinks for the millionth time how he never should have left him alone to fend for himself. If he'd been any kind of a friend to Cas at all he would have stood up to that other dick angel and insisted that Cas stay in the bunker where he belonged, and then the reaper thing never would have happened in the first place. Fucking right he blames himself for it, and he probably always will. Logically, he knows that  _this feeling_ inside of him isn’t a normal reaction to "a friend" having sex for the first time. He doesn’t like to think about it too much, because he doesn’t like to think about his feelings ever, really, but he knows deep down that it’s jealousy.

Which brings him all the way back around to _why_. Why is he jealous about Cas having sex with somebody? Dean isn’t gay, and as far as he knows Cas isn't, either. _But fuck_. Cas does something to him. He isn’t going to be able to ignore it forever. He vividly remembers Cas saying “boyfriend,” and he can feel his body’s reaction to it all over again. The beer running through his veins makes those thoughts bounce around in his head for longer than he would ever allow any other time and he can practically feel himself itching for another drink. He turns around and faces the mirror again.

He is not a pussy.

He looks himself in the eye and takes a deep breath. _Boyfriend_ , he hears in his mind again. He can feel a thought forming, slowly making its way from the back of his brain to his lips. _Boyfriend_. He tries to swallow it down... but again, and it’s gotta be the fucking beer, man... he just _can’t_. He’s breathing hard now. He hears himself whisper, “I don’t hate the idea.” And it instantly feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

And he also kind of feels like he needs to throw up.

He takes a drink of water straight from the tap and rolls his shoulders. That’s better. It was a weight he didn’t even know he was carrying around until it was gone. And not to sound like a chick or something, but it feels like something just kinda took flight from his chest. It doesn’t feel as hard and cold inside anymore. Just admitting to liking the idea - okay, fine, he _likes_ the idea, okay? - makes him feel almost as happy as he was splashing through the waves earlier. Free. He can feel his heartbeat pick up again as he thinks, _What if Cas_ did _know what he was talking about when he said boyfriend? What if he feels like this about me, too?_ He thinks about how Cas always stands too close to him. About how Cas likes to watch him sleep. About the way Cas watches him no matter what he’s doing. About the way they look at each other when Dean forgets he's not supposed to stare. About how Cas always comes when he calls.

It’s taken him long enough to get to this place where he's not scared shitless of the thoughts he's having right now. And now that he’s here, he knows he can’t go back to the way it was a few minutes ago. Even as tipsy as he is, and he's feeling more and more unsteady as the seconds tick by, he knows he has to be careful with Cas. He can’t fuck anything up and he can’t lose him as a best friend no matter what happens. But he wants to do something about this. He just can't be a dick about it. He gives himself one more nod in the mirror and his last thought before he opens the bathroom door again is, _I got this_.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Just an ordinary day, like when I met you."_

Dean walks over to his bag and stashes his old clothes before climbing on to the bed beside Cas to check out what’s going on on-screen. Cas waits for him to settle in before passing him the beer he asked for earlier.

Dean smiles softly, takes a drink, and thanks him. “What'd you pick?” he asks.

“Netflix chose a movie called _The Boy Next Door_ based on shows I have previously watched. It’s classified as a mystery. Have you seen it?”

Dean looks over Cas’s shoulder and deliberately rests a hand between his shoulder blades. Baby steps. “Nah, but it has J-Lo in it so at least there’s somebody hot to watch even if the movie’s shit.” He says without thinking and then winces and withdraws his hand. Maybe he can’t _not_ be a dick after all.

Castiel just smiles like he expects nothing less of Dean and shrugs his assent. “Okay, let’s watch it.”

Dean says, “Don’t you want to change out of your shorts first?”

“I didn’t bring anything other than shorts and my – Jimmy’s – clothes I wore on the way here.”

“Here,” Dean says as he leans over and rummages through his bag, “I brought lots. These’ll probably be fine on you. There’s a drawstring you can tie up if they’re a bit too big, okay? And there's no wrong way to wear a t-shirt. Doesn’t really matter.” He pushes a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants into Cas’s arms.

“Thank you, Dean. I’ll change… in the bathroom,” he adds as if he’s proud of himself for remembering to leave the room this time. It makes Dean laugh and he positions the laptop in the middle of where he and Cas will lay, and then settles comfortably onto the bed to finish his beer while Cas changes. His head is spinning pretty good now and he thinks this one is probably enough for tonight.

It’s not long at all before Cas comes back and Dean is shocked to realize Cas looks damn good wearing his clothes. Dean is taller than Cas but they’re built differently. Looking at the way his clothes fit Castiel’s body make it obvious that Cas’s torso is longer than Dean’s, and his waist's smaller. Even with the draw string tied tight, the pants still sit dangerously low on his hips. Again. Dean fights away the flashbacks to the bathing suit bottoms he tried on earlier… and notices that his shirt is shorter on Cas, too, which means his pants and shirt are barely touching. Even as Cas bends over to put his neatly folded clothes away, the shirt rides up to expose a few inches of skin and Dean finds himself mesmerized by the sight.

“My clothes look good on you,” he says, testing the waters a little bit.

Castiel feels a blush make its way across his cheeks. “Thank you, Dean,” he says. Has Dean ever complimented his physical appearance before? Castiel never really thought about it all that much because technically it isn’t his body, but he's surprised to find it pleases him that Dean likes the way it looks nonetheless. He feels hyper-aware of his body now and he has to try to get on the bed with some sort of dignity. “Do you want to watch on the couch?”

“Nothing's more comfortable than laying down watching TV. Trust me. Give it a shot,” Dean urges him. Dean goes so far as to pat the empty space beside him on the bed. Castiel walks over to the opposite side of the bed Dean is lounging on, and sits with his back to the headboard and his legs crisscrossed in front of him. He smiles shyly at Dean. Dean shakes his head and says, “No way, man. Get down here like me. I’m telling you, it’s the best."

Castiel knows better than to resist because Dean is nothing if not persistent. He mirrors his body to Dean’s and after rearranging a pillow to support his upper back he has to admit Dean is right. This is extremely comfortable. He turns towards Dean to tell him as much when he suddenly becomes aware of how close they are. On a bed. Together. It’s a double bed, so it makes sense that two guys with big frames like them would be so close together, he tells himself. He tries to scrunch in his shoulders a little bit so that they aren’t brushing, but Dean notices.

Dean knocks his shoulder into Cas's and says, “Relax, okay? This is nice, isn’t it?”

Castiel suddenly feels a little shy but he nods. “Yes,” he says, and he feels himself lick his lips again.

Dean’s eyes drop down to Cas’s lips and he remembers the lip chap.  He rolls over to reach down beside the bed and into his bag again and comes out with a small blue tube with _Nivea for Men_ written on it. “Here, I almost forgot. Put this on your lips.”

Dean offers it to Castiel and as he goes to take it their fingers brush. They both feel a jolt of electricity shoot from their fingers to their stomachs and their eyes meet again. Castiel looks down at the tube to examine it - definitely not just to break eye contact - and reads the instructions on the back. _Use this lip care for men daily, as needed, on dry, cracked or chapped lips. Re-apply as needed._ He pops the top and rolls it carefully on to his lips and then smushes them together to rub it in.

As he re-caps it and hands it back to Dean he has a weird thought. “Have you used this before?” he asks.

“All the time. I bet your lips feel better this time tomorrow,” Dean responds, stuffing the tube in his pants pocket so he can share it with Cas again soon.

Castiel thinks they feel better already, actually, but doesn’t want to say so just yet. “Is it sanitary to share something like this?”

Dean huffs out a bit of a laugh, “You know, I never really thought about it until you mentioned it, but I guess…” he hesitates, but decides to power through, “you could say it’s as sanitary as kissing.” And he boldly adds a wink.

 _He adds a wink._ Cas has seen Dean give the wink more times than he can count. He gives it to women he’s interested in, and it never fails him. Castiel thought he understood the appeal of the wink, but until Dean looked him in the eyes and used that wink on _him_ , he really had no idea. Before he can even register his own response, he hears himself make a sound that's dangerously close to a giggle.

Dean’s heart is racing in his chest now because he’ll be damned if a shy little laugh isn’t _exactly_ the response he gets from women when he uses that wink, and Cas just laughed the most adorable laugh he has ever heard. Has he ever even  _heard_ Cas laugh before? Now Dean knows that there's at least a chance Cas is as interested as he is. He doesn’t want to give the dude a heart attack, though. Slow and steady, he reminds himself.

“Ready to hit play?”

“Ready,” Castiel responds. And he is. He needs to concentrate on something else for a little while, because his mind is spinning.

They're about half-way through the movie when it becomes, well… awkward would be an understatement.

“Holy crap!” Dean exclaims happily as he watches J-Lo stripped down to a bra and panties with a man between her legs holding her up against a wall, “This is basically porn!”

“This… this is like the pizza man?” Castiel asks.

Dean roars with laughter. “Yah, man. This is like the pizza man. But she’s way hotter! God, she looks good for almost 50, don’t you think?”

Castiel swallows. “Her body is very appealing, yes,” he answers.

Dean’s tongue is loose, and he still blames the beer internally, when he says, “What about the dude?”

Castiel turns and looks at Dean but answers like he’s talking about the weather, “His body is appealing, too.” Dean’s eyebrows shoot up. “Don’t you think?” Castiel echoes him.

Dean shrugs. “I can see why you’d think so. He doesn’t really do it for me though.” He sees Cas’s eyebrows draw together and decides to add, “Since we’re sharing… when it comes to dudes, there’s only ever been a select few I’ve been attracted to.”

“Like Dr. Sexy,” Castiel supplies instantly.

“Yup, Dr. Sexy is a good-lookin’ guy,” he agrees. He looks back at the screen to see J-Lo wrap her legs around the guy as he carries her off screen. He is absolutely half-hard and half-drunk right now. With Castiel beside him on his bed. He has an internal battle with himself for a millisecond and ultimately says, “You are too, ya know.”

Castiel blinks at him. “What?” He couldn’t have heard him correctly. That's not what he meant.

“I think you’re a good lookin’ guy.”

“Thank you,” Cas answers automatically as he turns back to face the screen. His manners must come out automatically, because there is not a single other thought in his head right now. Between what is happening on the screen (and it looks like a lot of kissing, some dry humping, and definitely some groping), being this close to Dean on a bed, and hearing Dean talk about him in this way, he is aroused and is having a hard time concentrating. He tilts his head to the side and says, “Is he… licking her… down there?”

Dean laughs. “Probably not for real, but that’s definitely what they want you to think. You uh, didn’t do any of that with that reaper chick?”

Cas shakes his head quickly. “No, it was more of a… I think you would say, ‘Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am.’” Dean lets out a loud laugh at the ridiculousness of Cas saying that out loud. Cas continues, “I don’t think I’d enjoy doing _that_ , anyway.”

“It’s ah, sometimes more about doing something your girl _really_ likes than doing what you like in that situation,” Dean explains. “Depends on the guy. But you did get to do stuff you liked, right? I know we never really talked about it.”

Castiel shrugs. “It was enjoyable, I guess.”

“You guess? Dude, losing my virginity was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Please don’t laugh at me," Castiel begins, "but I actually used the internet to research why I didn’t think the experience was everything I have heard it would be, and I have come to the conclusion it’s because I didn’t feel an emotional connection to her. I think I would enjoy sex quite a bit more if I had feelings for the person I was with. Intimately, I mean.”

“I knew what you meant,” Dean laughs. “Have you ever had those kinds of feelings for anybody before?” Cas kind of stiffens and Dean has a horrible thought. “DO NOT SAY MEG! I swear to God if you say Meg you are so out of this hotel room!”

Castiel's offended on principle. “Please. I assure you I did not have romantic feelings for Meg. Meg was the first person who ever showed any kind of sexual intent towards me. It was different, and new and exciting, but confusing." he explains. "I didn't _want_ to kiss her. She kissed me and it was as if my body responded before I even thought about it. I actually have reason to believe it might have been Jimmy." 

Dean's surprised. "Huh. I guess I never thought of Jimmy in there before."

"He's gone now," Cas says seriously, "so it makes little difference. I doubt I would have followed through with her invitation to 'move furniture' in any case," he finishes with a laugh. 

"She asked you to 'move furniture' with her and you got that?" Dean repeats, skeptical.

"Sure," Castiel replies. He waits a beat before he smiles, "After she explained it to me." 

"I always hated her freaking guts," Dean says darkly. Even more now. He tries to lighten the mood with, "Can't knock her taste, though." He moves a little bit closer to Cas. Cas waits for just a moment and does the same thing. Their bodies are now pressed together from shoulder all the way down to their wrists. Dean notices again just how warm Cas's body is. 

"To answer your initial question though, yes, I believe I have developed romantic feelings for someone," Castiel says, but he finds himself unable to look Dean in the face. 

"Really!?" Dean jumps at the admission and grabs Cas's forearm. (He is officially a teenage girl.) "Who?"

"I don't want to say right now," Castiel says with conviction. "It's private."

"Okay, okay. Can you give me a hint?" Dean asks. 

"... one hint." Castiel relents. "Then I'm finished talking about this for tonight."

"Okay, okay," Dean says again. He has to let go of Cas's arm to be able to think about the best way to be sure Cas is talking about him without being overly obvious. "Guy or girl?"

"Not that I think that's extremely relevant, but a guy." 

Dean notices that their hands lay pressed back to back, open but facing different directions. He can't look away for a second. "Interesting," he drawls with a smile. "Looks like the sex is over for now," Dean says and nods towards the screen before looking back down.  

Castiel feels some disappointment that the two of them are done talking about this for now. He wonders how much the alcohol in Dean's system has had to do with their conversations tonight, and specifically, the way Dean has complimented him. A few times, now.  

Dean cannot stop looking at their hands. He clears his throat loudly and goes for it. "Can I, uh, can I hold your hand?"

Castiel feels his stomach clench. Is this a joke? Is Dean teasing him? "Why do you want to hold my hand?" he asks quickly. Castiel worries irrationally that Dean might hear how loudly his heart beating because it sounds like thunder in his head.

"I'm... kinda... testing something. For me. Would it bother you?" 

Castiel thinks. "I don't know. I've never held hands with anybody as a test before." 

"If you don't want to..." Dean offers.

"I, um, I _do_ want to. I think. Can we try?"

Dean gives a nervous smile and then they're both turning their hands towards one another and their fingers lace together like it's the most natural thing in the world. They both look down at their hands clasped together and then make eye contact. They are both slightly pink-faced, but smiley. 

"Okay?" Dean asks. 

Castiel has a big, gummy smile on his face. "It's more than okay, Dean. I had no idea holding hands would feel this good throughout my entire body. I like this very much." 

Dean smiles back just as big. "I think I do, too," he says quietly. Then they both turn back to watch the movie. 

Or at least Dean pretends to watch the movie. He can hear, _I had no idea holding hands would feel this good throughout my entire body_ , on repeat in his head. He's holding Cas's hand and they both like it. He  _really_ likes it, and he wants more. More of their bodies touching. He rubs the back of Cas's hand with his thumb. Back and forth. He hears Cas's breath hitch and it makes him feel powerful. He can't believe Cas has never done this before. It somehow makes him feel like a shy teenager again. 

Laying so close to Cas, half-drunk, wearing comfortable clothes with this warm feeling running through his body makes him feel _so much_. He wants to be closer to Cas. Like now. He spontaneously lets go of Cas's hand, and lifts that arm over Cas's head. Cas miraculously catches on and leans forward a little so Dean can put an arm around his shoulder. Dean gives Cas a little tug towards him but he’s like a fucking statue and doesn't budge. "Come'ere." He says with a jerk of his head and a soft smile. 

Cas looks unsure so Dean pulls harder on Cas's shoulder and Cas finally turns his body towards him. "Put your head right here," Dean explains patting his chest. "If you want to, I mean." Cas lays his head on Dean's chest carefully, and Dean rests his chin on Cas's head. Dean wraps his arm around Cas's body and places his hand on the middle of his back. "Is this okay?" he asks softly. 

Castiel sighs happily. He thinks this is the happiest he has ever been. "Yes, Dean. This is very okay." But at the same time, he has absolutely no idea what's going on. He doesn't know what has changed to make Dean want to act this way with him, but he knows he isn't complaining about it, and that will have to be sufficient for now. He is feeling so many different things all at once, he doesn't know how to process it all. He feels confused, comforted, safe, hyper-aware of Dean's every movement, curious, aroused, embarrassed that he's feeling aroused... the list goes on. Above everything, though, he feels happy. This is more than he ever hoped for from Dean. 

Dean's body is nearly vibrating with desire. This is new and exciting, and it's been a hell of a long time since he's been laid. Now he has Cas draped across his body and he's all muscle and hard lines where he's so used to soft, curvy bodies pressed against his, and somehow the contrast is driving him crazy. He's almost fully hard now and his mind is running wild with _what if Cas notices_ scenarios. Honestly, if it were anybody else they probably would have already noticed. Dean isn't wearing anything under his sweatpants so there isn't really anything there to help hide the situation. He is keeping his one leg slightly bent up to try and help disguise his boner, but he knows it isn't working. 

He barely registers that in the movie the bad guy and J-Lo are facing off in a barn, which means it's probably pretty close to over. But that's okay. That's good, really. Because Dean Winchester has a plan. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"It's funny how life can take new meaning."_

The credits start to roll and Cas turns his face to look up at Dean. _Holy fuck, this man is gorgeous,_ Dean thinks. He has no idea how he forced himself to not acknowledge this every time he's seen him in the past 7 years or so, but it's literally looking him right in the face.

He decides to tone it down a little for Cas. He doesn't want to scare him off. "You look adorable right now," he says with a smile.

Cas smiles huge and says, "I do?"

"You really, really do," Dean assures him and he gives him a little squeeze. "I know this is kind of lame, but do you wanna get out of here for a bit and go for a walk down the beach?" Beach lit up my moonlight? _Perfect_ , he thinks.

Castiel doesn't know why Dean wants to do this, but he'd do just about anything Dean asked him to, so the answer is an immediate, "Yes, I would like that."

Dean gives him a gentle push and they break away from each other for the first time in what feels like hours. They decide to head out the patio door as to not wake Sam, and Dean convinces Cas he doesn't need his sandals to walk along the beach. It's dark outside but the moon is bright and full, and with that and the lights of the other occupied hotel rooms lighting up the beach, it's bright enough that they can see.

They're both surprised to see a handful of people also walking or jogging along the long line of the coast. After seeing it totally deserted earlier today they both thought it would stay that way, which is weird. They've barely taken any steps at all when Dean reaches across and grabs Cas's hand. Cas's face lights up like a damn Christmas tree.

"Today was a good day," Dean says honestly.

Castiel nods his agreement. "One the most relaxing, happiest days I can ever remember having," he says.

"That's good, Cas. You haven't had it easy down here," he says as he gestures to sand.

Castiel takes that to mean on Earth. "I wouldn't change a thing," Castiel answers.

"Really?" Dean is surprised. "I feel like there's a million things I would go back and change if I could."

"Everything happens for a reason, Dean. If everything that has already happened didn't happen, we wouldn't be here right now. Like this," he swings their hands between them with a smile.

"Have you, uh, always wanted to be like this? With me, I mean?" Dean asks.

"To be completely honest with you, I have never thought about holding anybody's hand before. It just never occurred to me. Now that I've done it though, I would very much like to continue," he smiles.

"Huh. I guess I always kinda thought you had a thing for me. Stupid of me, I guess," he laughs bitterly.

Castiel stops walking and waits for Dean to turn towards him. "You are not stupid." It's something he has heard Dean say about himself too many times. "I have seen you come out on the winning side of too many battles where the only thing you had to use against evil was your brain. You are one of the most innovative thinkers I have ever known. You know more about monsters and demons than anybody. You're an extraordinary Hunter and a brilliant mechanic, too Dean. You are _not_ stupid."

"Most of that stuff is luck, man. I thought you knew that. I mean, yah, I'm good with my hands but that doesn't mean I'm smart. It's not the same thing. I'm not Sam," he finishes.

"You're not Sam. And it’s fortunate that you aren’t," Castiel says. "I wouldn't be holding your hand if you were." He can't seem to stop himself from taking a step closer to Dean. He feels like he's drawn in involuntarily. "I don't feel the same way about him as I do you," he says softly. Then with a teasing smile he adds, "Maybe I do have a thing for you after all."

Dean feels like his ego just grew three sizes but he laughs it off. "Well, good. Because this would be weird if you didn't." He takes a step even closer to Cas and touches their foreheads together. He brings a hand up to Cas's face and lets his fingers brush against the rough stubble. He won't ever admit it if asked, but he shudders. He watches his thumb move across Cas's bottom lip and Cas's mouth opens to him as he exhales. He flicks his eyes up to Cas's to gauge his expression and realizes Cas has his eyes closed. He figures that's a good sign but wants to be really, really sure.

"Cas?" He is embarrassed to hear how rough his voice is.

"Yes," Cas breathes. And Dean thinks it sounds like he's replying to the unasked question.

He leans in slowly. So very, very slowly to give Cas every opportunity to change his mind if he decides to. He lets his nose nuzzle against Cas's gently for a moment so Cas can tell how close he is. He's surprised but happy when Cas lifts his own chin first to initiate the tiniest brush of their lips. It's like an electric shock to his entire body. Dean takes Cas's bottom lip between his own and sucks the slightest bit. Cas gasps and Dean takes that as an invitation to kiss him again, more firm this time, but still softly. It's a sweet kiss and he's loving every second of it. But he isn't done yet. His other hand comes up to frame Cas's face completely and he runs his tongue across the line of Cas’s lips. Cas's mouth opens for him and Dean tilts his head slightly to the side to get better access before their tongues finally meet. It's a perfect mix of lips, tongue, and passion. Dean revels in the feeling of Cas's stubble against his skin. It's so different than any other sensation he's ever felt and he fucking loves it. He hears himself groan softly and knows he's got to stop before he goes too far. 

He pulls back only slightly and gives Cas one final closed-mouth kiss before he backs away to get a look at Cas. Cas's eyes fly open and Dean is startled again by the intense blue ring around his lust-blown pupils. He somehow manages to notice the flush on his cheeks and the way his breath is nowhere close to steady. He imagines he looks the same to Cas. He gives him a classic Dean Winchester smirk.

Castiel can't resist touching him again. He pulls Dean in for a close hug and just holds on to him for a few seconds. Dean indulges him and doesn't say anything, just waits it out. Finally, Castiel feels like it's okay to let go and smiles at Dean. "My apologies Dean, I felt like I just needed a moment more to collect myself."

"Yah, I can relate. That was a hell of a kiss," Dean says.

Castiel is happy to see Dean's eyes absolutely shining at him. He's certain nobody has ever looked at him like that before.

"I've never kissed a dude before," Dean confesses.

"Me neither," Castiel replies. "I don't know if it's because you're male or because you're, well, you... but that was by far the most arousing kiss I've ever had. In fact, I would go so far to say I enjoyed that kiss more than anything I did with April."

Dean feels his already fully hard dick twitch with interest and he looks to the sky to groan out loud. "Dammit Cas, you can't just say shit like that! You're killing me, man,” he says in exasperation.

"I don't understand," Castiel says. "I thought you felt the same way about me…."

"I do! God, do I. But I'm trying to play by the rules here, Cas. I'm doing everything I can to take this slow so we don't fuck it up. I've never been with a dude before. You're my best friend and a frickin' angel. I don't want to jump the gun and fuck this - whatever this is - up." He takes a deep breath. "I'm not used to going slow. Shocker, I know. If you were literally anybody but you I'd already be dragging you back to the room and trying to get you undressed on the way. I can't ever remember wanting anybody as bad as I want you right now."

"So then why..."

"…So you can't just say that I'm... arousing you… because you're killing me!" Dean finishes.

Castiel talks it through. "You are also aroused by me and knowing that I feel the same desire towards you makes it harder for you to take things slowly… which is what you want to do with me, so you don’t screw up?"

"Exactly. You know what I mean -" Dean is cut off by a bone crunching hug from Cas and then a soft kiss to the curve of Dean's neck as he pulls away.

"Thank you, Dean. I understand, and I appreciate you making an effort to make this as easy as it can possibly be on us both. I like the idea of going slow, too."

"Good," Dean says happily. "What do you say we walk down to the end of the building down there and back and then call it a night?"

"Sounds good," Castiel answers, and neither of them knows who reaches for whose hand first, but they don't let go again until they're back in their room.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"You came and changed what I believe in."_

Something about sneaking quietly into a dark hotel room has Dean thinking about getting caught by Sam like he's his parent or something, and for whatever reason, he finds that hilarious right now. He is trying not to laugh when Cas notices and asks, "What's funny?" He asks it at normal speaking volume but maybe because of the dark room or the fact that it's late or maybe because there is nothing to absorb the sound, it sounds extremely loud, and that's even funnier.

Dean covers his mouth with his only free hand (because he still hasn't let go of Cas) for a second then shushes Cas. "Quiet! We don't want to wake up Sam."

"Sorry," Castiel whispers and then snickers because he gets the joke now too. He's so happy and feels so light that he thinks he could find humour just about anywhere right now.

Dean falls on to the bed and pulls Cas down with him. They end up tangled in each other and there is more muffled laughter as they sort themselves out and Cas arranges himself on Dean's chest the way he was while watching the movie earlier.

Dean says quietly, "What are you going to do all night while we sleep?"

Castiel thinks. "Well... this is pretty comfortable," he responds.

"You want to lay here and watch me sleep?" Dean clarifies. Cas just shrugs. "Okay weirdo, but I can't sleep on my back. We can switch if you want?"

Cas answers by rolling over onto his back and waits while Dean finds a comfortable spot on his chest. He finally rests his head in the space between his shoulder and his neck. "This okay?" Dean asks, and he really hopes it is because Cas is warm and comfy and he doesn't want to move.

Castiel can feel Dean's breath on his neck. He tentatively puts his arms around Dean and lets his hands rest on his back.

"This is very satisfactory, yes," Castiel answers. Then he asks a question that's been on his mind since Dean pulled him on to the bed. "Won't Sam see us in the morning?"

Dean exhales. "I think it'd be hard to miss," he answers. He sounds amused, Castiel thinks.

"You don't think Sam will be surprised or uncomfortable by us doing this?"

Dean leans back to look up at Cas. "Honestly? I don't really care what Sam thinks. Right this second, I'm happy and I don't really give a shit about anything else, okay? Don't worry," he says. And then because he's so close and because he can't resist, he leans in and brushes his lips against Cas's. It's short and sweet and doesn't involve any tongue, but he's okay with that. Felt right. "If you get bored or your shoulder falls asleep or anything just wake me up, k?"

Castiel can't see how he could possibly get bored of holding Dean close like this any time soon, but he doesn't say that out loud. "Of course. Goodnight, Dean."

Dean makes a sleepy little sound and slurs, "'Night, angel," and Castiel feels his body sink off into sleep seconds later.

Castiel is pleased when Dean doesn't wake even once all night. He stirred a few times, and each time he ended up pressed closer to Castiel so that by now, he can hardly tell where he ends and Dean begins. He is even happier to learn that Dean doesn't snore when he's in this position. As comfortable as he is, he is quite sure even he couldn't stand listening to that all night long. He can see the sun starting to peek into the hotel room through the closed blinds and begins to worry a little bit more with each second that passes. As clear as Dean was last night about not caring what Sam thinks of them together (are they even together? Castiel doesn't know. Dean hasn't said.) he knows how important Sam's approval is to Dean, and he knows if Sam isn't okay with this that it will cause major problems between all of them. Sam has always seemed comfortable with people they have met in the past who are gay, and if he isn't mistaken (and he knows he isn't) he has even spoken in favour of gay marriage and was happy when it became legal in most states. But Castiel has been among humans long enough to know being supportive in theory is not always the same as being supportive in real life. For the first time all night he can feel himself grow restless and has to fight the urge to pace the hotel room. It won't accomplish anything, he tells himself. He just has to wait.

It isn't much longer at all when Sam's bedroom door opens and Castiel sees Sam dressed in what he knows are his running clothes.

Sam takes a quick look over to Dean's bed to make sure he didn't somehow end up finding a woman to sleep with and stops dead in his tracks. Oh my God! He quickly brings up the camera app on his phone to take a picture to use as blackmail later on. Because his big, tough, burly brother is absolutely plastered to every part of Castiel's body he can reach. The best part is that he's still totally out of it, which means he has no idea how much he's completely wrapped himself around Cas in his sleep. Sam checks to make sure the picture is as clear as can be, and notices that while he originally thought Cas was asleep too (that's stupid. Angels don't sleep, he reminds himself) he is actually awake and clearly confused about why Sam is taking his picture.

He looks over his phone at Cas and smiles. He makes a "shhh" gesture at him, and then shoots him a thumbs up and indulges in a small victory dance before he puts his ear buds in and quietly makes his way out of the hotel. This was way easier than he ever thought it would be! He thought Dean would take days to make this kind of progress with himself. He's actually really proud of his brother. It's so unlike him! Sam doesn't stop smiling for his entire run, and makes a mental note to stop at the diner when he's done to linger over a few cups of coffee to give the boys some space.

Castiel winces as he hears the hotel door close. He knows Sam was as quiet as he could be, but the sound still echoes through the room. He feels Dean stir, but all he does is push closer into the curve of Castiel’s neck and pulls his body even closer to his. He makes a happy sounding noise and lets out a sigh that may actually be the word "Cas," and then his breathing evens out again and Castiel knows he's fallen back asleep.

Which is probably a good thing, because when Dean repositioned himself he threw one of his legs over Castiel’s and he can now very obviously feel the outline of Dean's hard penis pressing against his hip. For a moment he finds himself wondering what's so arousing in Dean's sleep, but then thinks back to those human days of his when he woke up in the same state Dean is in now. He never particularly understood it, but over time he begun to accept that was just the way his body woke up. He didn't realize other men faced the same problem every day, and he wonders if most guys take care of the problem the same way he always did...

With his thoughts drifting in that direction and Dean's body so tantalizingly pressed against him, he is acutely aware of the blood in his body travelling south to settle between his legs. He has never considered himself an overly sexual being, but ever since Dean first held his hand he feels like his body has awoken and he has been at least slightly aroused ever since. Many times throughout the night he caught himself fantasizing about Dean. About Dean's body. And Dean's lips. About Dean waking up and straddling him while he kissed him good morning. He even thought about Dean trapping him against a wall the way Jennifer Lopez was in that movie last night. He could so easily see himself wrapping his legs around Dean's waist and feeling Dean's mouth moving across his bare chest as he carried him down the hall.

... and he's doing it again. He takes a deep breath and tries to think of anything else, but all he can smell on the inhale is Dean. He can’t help running his hands down Dean's back and he is pleased to discover his shirt must have ridden up when he moved. He hesitates, but his hands ultimately seek out the exposed skin and then somehow his hand is underneath Dean’s shirt and stroking the hard muscle of his back. Dean's body is warm from sleep but the bare skin is slightly chillier so he makes sure to pay special attention to it to warm it up. This is doing nothing to help him combat his arousal, but some things are worth suffering for, he thinks with a smile.

"Mmmm," he hears come from Dean. He smiles because it sounds as if Dean is enjoying this as much as he is. "Cas," he lets out in a soft moan.

"Hello, Dean," Castiel replies and he plants a soft kiss to Dean's temple. Dean rolls his hips forward slightly and he feels Dean's hardness press into his hip. He bites down hard on his bottom lip. Castiel has never wanted anything as badly as he wants Dean right now.

Dean pushes up to his elbows to look up at Castiel and says, "Hello to you, too," and then smiles wickedly. Castiel knows with certainty that Dean has never smiled at him quite like this before. He feels his desire increase almost painfully at the sight. He's distracted from even that as Dean begins a soft trail of kisses from the collar of his t-shirt to behind his ear.

Dean rubs the side of his face against Cas's stubble to feel the roughness of it and hears himself moan again. "Sam here?" he whispers into Cas's ear as he nibbles on the lobe.

Castiel’s voice comes out gravelly and deeper than it usually is. "N-no, he left for a run not long ago."

"Good," Dean responds and then he sinks his teeth into a soft spot right behind Cas's ear. Cas gasps and his hips shoot up off of the bed.

"Dean," Castiel groans as his hands find their way further up along Dean's back under his shirt to press at the hard muscles.

Dean starts kissing a wet line down Cas's jaw ( _holy fuck_ , that jaw could cut glass) and says in between kisses, "Remember," _kiss_ "what I said" _lick_ "about going slow?" _suck_.

Castiel swallows and bares his throat for more of Dean's attention. "I remember."

Dean follows Cas's lead and his lips make their way across Cas's throat to the other side of his face. "Let's kick it up a notch," he suggests and follows that up by sucking a mark on Cas's collar bone.

"Mmmmhmmm," Castiel moans.

Dean's lips finally make their way to the corner of Castiel’s mouth and Castiel turns his head eagerly to capture Dean's mouth with his. Dean swings his leg over to straddle Castiel’s hips and he brings his lips back down to Castiel’s. Their tongues are in each other's mouths and Dean tastes like sleep and stale beer but Castiel doesn't even care because this is  _Dean_. He doesn't know how long they kiss but Castiel's hands have not left Dean's back and he finds himself pushing his shirt up further and further to get access to more skin.

Dean breaks their kiss to sit back on top of Cas to pull his shirt up over his head, and he watches as Cas drinks in every inch of his body hungrily with his eyes. It turns him on even more to see Cas look at him like that. He can feel Cas's rock hard dick pressed against his ass. He rocks his hips just the tiniest bit and Cas throws his head back with a gasp. Dean chuckles darkly and pulls Cas up to a sitting position to pull his shirt off, too. His hair is everywhere. His cheeks are flushed and his eyes are heavy with desire. His arms are well defined with muscle and while he isn't as ripped as Dean is, he is long and lean without being skinny and Dean fucking loves it. He catches Cas's eyes and breathes, "You are so fucking hot." Cas's eyes go wide in surprise and Dean sinks his hands into the back of Cas's hair and gently brings his face closer so he can claim that kiss-swollen mouth again. Their naked chests bump together and they both moan at the delicious feeling of skin to skin. Dean pushes Cas back down on to the bed without breaking their kiss and lays flush between his legs.

Dean feels their hard cocks press together. " _Fuck_ ," he gasps against Cas's mouth. He rocks forward gently and revels in the friction. "Is this okay?"

Castiel doesn't have any words right now so he settles for nodding enthusiastically. He rolls his hips forward to copy Dean and they suddenly have a rhythm going.

"Dean, Dean, _Dean_ ," Cas chants softly, and every time it's like a caress to Dean's ego. Castiel’s hands roam Dean's upper body eagerly and Dean feels like he’s lighting a trail of fire with his everywhere he touches him. Dean buries his head in the pillow beside Cas’s and now Cas finds Dean's neck with his mouth. Dean feels the scrape of Cas's teeth on the tip of his jaw line just under his ear and Dean curses again.

"I feel like a teenager," he laughs. "I'm so close already, but... can I touch you, Cas?"

"Ohhh, yes," Castiel moans eagerly.

Dean never takes his eyes off of Cas's face as his hand slithers down Cas's warm chest and undoes the draw string on his pants. His hand slips under the waistband and he finds Cas's cock hard and wet with pre-cum. He looks Cas in the eye and says softly, "You're so hard for me, Cas. Fuck, that's hot." He strokes Cas's cock in his hand a few times and hears the most delicious sounds come from Cas's throat. "I know," he breathes as he kisses him softly. "I'm right there with you."

Suddenly Castiel has the overwhelming urge to see that for himself. His voice breaks as he says, "Let me be the judge of that."

Dean's eyebrows lift in surprise but almost instantly Cas's hand is down his pants and wrapped tightly around him in the same way he holds Cas and his eyes snap shut as all rational thought leaves his brain. He thrusts into Cas's hand, greedily searching for more. He hears Cas say, "Yes, Dean," like he's encouraging him to keep going. He opens his eyes and looks down to see two red, swollen, dripping cocks held in two hands and inspiration strikes.

"Let... let me," he says and knocks Cas's hand gently out of the way. He lets go of Cas's cock long enough to pull his own pants down to his knees to give him more room, then he slowly lines his cock up alongside Cas's. Dean pushes down onto Cas as Cas lifts up to meet Dean and then they're both grinding together. Dean spits on his hand and holds their cocks together loosely in one hand.

"That feels incredible," Cas breathes. Dean feels his cock leak further at hearing those words out of Cas's mouth. "More, Dean." Dean absorbs the words like an electric jolt to the chest. He spreads the spit and their collective precum all over both of them and he watches as both cocks glide together in his hand. The sight is almost more than he can take. He can feel the heat pooling in his stomach and knows he's almost there. Cas's whole body is trembling and he's making soft little sounds. It makes him want Cas to come even more just so he can see what he looks like and hear the sounds he’s going to make.

"Cas, Cas... I got you, Cas. It's okay," he murmurs. Cas makes a sound of acknowledgement in return.

His hand picks up the pace and he tears his eyes away from watching to look up at Cas, only to see his eyes glued to how Dean's hand is now pumping them both furiously. Cas meets Dean's eyes and they come together for a dirty kiss that is all lips and tongue. Dean catches Cas's bottom lip between his teeth as he gives his wrist a twist and Cas's breath catches. Then he lets out the dirtiest, deepest fucking moan Dean has ever heard and suddenly there is a spurt of wet heat between them as Cas finds his release. " _Dean_!" he cries. And that's all it takes to get Dean there with him, and he spills all over Cas's stomach. He kisses Cas once more and presses their foreheads together to try and catch his breath. He can hear Cas still murmuring his name in a mindless chant as he milks the last drops of cum from both of them just before he collapses on top of Cas.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favourite chapters so far! :)
> 
> PS. Don't forget to find me on Twitter! Handle is tricia_16_

Castiel thinks a few minutes have passed since Dean fell on top of him, but it could have been days. His thoughts are slowly starting to make sense again and though he can easily support Dean's weight since he's an angel, he has been laying in basically this same position for approximately 10 hours and he really needs to move around. 

He gives Dean a nudge. "Dean? Though your brother appeared to be supportive of us when he saw us this morning, I don't think he would appreciate coming back to us in bed with our pants half on."

Dean groans. "Ugh. I guess we better shower. Gotta clean this mess up," he says as he feels the stickiness between them. "This is disgusting," he says with a laugh and he plants a quick peck on Cas's cheek before he stands up and pulls up his pants with no shame.  He digs around for a new set of clothes and makes his way to the bathroom to shower. "Come on," he calls Cas. 

"My body doesn't require a shower, Dean. All I have to do is this," and he closes his eyes for a split second and Dean sees the sticky mess that was all over his stomach disappear. 

"That's cheating!" Dean exclaims. 

Castiel chuckles. "You shower and I'll get dressed." 

"Woah, woah, woah," Dean holds up a finger. "Why can't you just mojo me clean, too?" 

"I don't have access to most of my grace until I return to Heaven. I haven't been back in a long time. Angels taking care of their own vessel - or body, in my case - is considered a necessity and uses very little grace. But it would use a considerable amount just to clean you up right now," he explains. "I apologize, Dean, but I would prefer to keep what I have in case of an emergency and I don't want to go to Heaven right now. I want to stay here with you." 

"Alright. I guess I want you to stay here, too," he says, winking at him playfully. "I'll be back in a bit." 

Castiel busies himself by getting dressed in the pink swimming shorts he first picked out yesterday and a navy blue t-shirt. It’s tighter than what he would have chosen for himself and has a deep vee neck, but Sam assured him that’s the way it’s supposed to fit. Instead of using grace this time, he stands in front of the mirror and uses his hands to tame his unruly hair. It’s slightly crazier than usual, but he thinks it still looks acceptable.

The bathroom door opens and in the mirror Castiel can see Dean come out looking freshly groomed and extremely attractive. He watches as Dean throws his worn sweats in the general direction of his bag before walking towards him. Their eyes meet in the mirror and Dean’s arms come around Cas’s waist from behind him and he feels himself pressed against Dean’s body. He smells incredible. Castiel sees himself smiling widely in the mirror before Dean spins him and presses his back up against it.

Dean kisses him breathless before he finally pulls away and rests their foreheads together. “Good morning,” he says.

“Haven’t we been through that already?” Castiel jokes.

“A joke!” Dean seems proud of his attempt at humour. “Yes, we have. But it was the best morning I can remember having in a long, long time. So I felt like it should be said a second time. Plus, you look hot in that shirt.”

Just then the hotel room door swings open and Dean automatically lifts his head off of Cas’s, but he doesn’t put any distance between them. Dean sees Sam with a bag of food in one hand and a tray with take out cups in the other. “Morning, Sammy.”

“Hey Dean, Cas. I come bearing gifts,” he says as he gestures to the stuff he’s carrying.

“I think I love you,” Dean jokes as he goes to get the food from him. He opens the bag immediately and inhales the smell of – “Pancakes! You’re the best!”

Sam watches as Dean tears into the bag and brings out the food. “Food before coffee, huh?” he asks.

Dean looks briefly at Cas and smiles as he says, “Yah well, I’m already pretty awake this morning.”

Castiel walks over to Sam to relieve him of the tray he’s holding and heads back to sit at the table beside Dean as Sam says, “I know you sometimes drink coffee, so I got you one just in case. Sugar and cream is in the bottom of the bag Dean just threw on the floor.”

“I’ll pick it up later,” Dean manages to get out around a very full mouth.

“You’re disgusting. I don’t know what you see in him, Cas,” Sam says.

“Blow me,” Dean replies reaching from the coffee Cas has. “You know I’m adorable.”

“Oh, you just reminded me! Since I'm such a great brother, I _did_ bring you two one other little gift.” The tone of Sam’s voice puts Dean on edge and he makes sure to swallow the giant wad of food in his mouth in case he needs to defend himself or Cas. “I stopped at the drug store and picked this up for you.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small purple bottle. He tosses it Dean’s way. “I figured you might need this,” he laughs.

Dean catches the bottle and looks to see _Astroglide_ printed on it. He can feel his face go red and he really wants to punch Sam in his stupid smiling face. “What is that, Dean?” He hears Cas ask innocently. Dean looks at the angel beside him and back to his brother and thinks, _Two can play at this game, Sammy_. He replies, “It’s lube, Cas. It’s to make it easier for me to shove my dick up your ass later.”

“Ugh! _Goddamn it,_ Dean!” Sam exclaims. “That’s freaking gross! Don’t you have any tact!? God. I feel like I need to bleach my brain now,” he continues. He goes into his bedroom and slams the doors shut.

Dean laughs and feels pretty proud of himself for getting the better of his little brother, but one look at Cas shows him that Cas doesn’t think this is nearly as funny as he does. “Sorry, man. I didn’t want it to come out like that, but I _really_ wanted Sam to shut the fuck up.” He takes another bite of pancakes and says, again, with his mouth full, “You’re not mad, are ya?”

“No, I’m not mad. But I didn’t particularly enjoy hearing about how you plan to have sex with me for the first time in front of your brother.”

Dean swallows and washes down his pancakes with a mouthful of coffee. “I’m sorry, okay? It doesn’t have to happen exactly… like _that_ … anyway,” he says and hopes Cas understands what he means. “And it isn’t going to happen any time soon.” He shoots Cas another puppy dog face and says, “Forgive me?”

“Of course I forgive you, Dean. I always forgive you,” he says with a small smile. “Sam was supportive when he saw us sleeping in bed together this morning.” He decides not to mention how Sam took a photo of them. “Maybe you shouldn’t give him such a hard time about this right now. We could probably all use some time getting used to the idea of us… together.” Dean nods as he shovels in more food and Castiel decides to ask the question that’s been burning inside him all night. “We are together, right?”

At that moment, Sam’s bedroom door opens as he makes his way to the bathroom to shower. He has fresh clothes held in his arms and he doesn’t stop walking as he adds in a teasing voice, “Yah, Dean. Is Cas your booooyfriend?” and laughs obnoxiously as he closes (and locks) the bathroom door behind him. He’s not stupid!

“I’m gonna kick your ass, Sammy!” Dean shouts loudly. He looks back at Cas and says, “I don’t generally like to put labels on the people I sleep with because it makes me feel itchy and tied down,” he explains and he sees Cas’s face fall. “But you and me is different. You’re not just some random hot chick I sweet-talked into bed for a night and kicked out the next morning.” He takes another drink of his coffee to give himself a minute to try and find the right words to say. “I’m not real good at talking about this kind of stuff, Cas.”

“That’s okay, Dean. I don’t want to put any pressure on you to label what we are if it makes you uncomfortable. I was merely curious.”

“I don’t feel uncomfortable,” he clarifies. “I’m just not used to having this kind of talk with somebody. Look, do you want to be my boyfriend?”

“Yes,” Castiel answers quickly. “I want to spend more time with you when I’m allowed to touch you. I want to sleep in your bed again tonight, and I want people to see us holding hands when we go places,” he elaborates.

“Well, uh, I’m not usually too big on PDA,” he says, and when he sees Cas make a face of confusion. “Public displays of affection,” he clarifies. “But I want to do all that other stuff more, too. So if that means we’re _together_ , then yah, I guess we’re together.”

Castiel has a big smile on his face as he scoots his chair a little bit closer to Dean. “We’re together,” he echoes. “May I touch you and kiss you whenever I want, then?”

“Well, like I said, I’m not big on a lot of that stuff when I’m out in public. I mean, you can touch me on the arm or leg or shoulder or something, but I don’t think I feel totally comfortable with us making out all over the place.”

“What about in here? When we’re alone or in front of Sam?” Castiel asks.

“When we’re in front of Sam you can touch me as much as you feel comfortable with. And when we’re alone? There’s no such thing as too much,” he says with a smile. “Good luck even trying to keep me away from you.”

Since Sam hasn’t come out of the bathroom yet, Castiel decides to take Dean’s words at face value and drops to his knees in front of Dean and runs his hands up his thighs. Dean leans in to meet him half way and then they’re kissing again. Castiel can taste the sweetness of the syrup Dean drowned his pancakes in, and thinks he might actually enjoy pancakes after this. They stay wrapped up in each other until they hear the bathroom door open again. Castiel goes to pull away, but Dean bites down on his bottom lip to keep him where he is.

“Seriously guys?” Sam says from where he’s standing. Dean plants one more chaste kiss on Cas’s lips before they both turn towards Sam. He’s standing there with his hands half covering his eyes. “Am I going to have to announce my presence every time I walk into a room now?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Does this bother you?” Dean asks innocently.

Sam runs his hand down his face and says, “Honestly, I’ve been waiting for this to happen between you two for a long time. I didn’t think anything could be worse than the eye sex you two were constantly having, but I don’t think I thought this all the way through.” He laughs softly. “I’m seriously happy for you guys. You know that. But please don’t make me feel like the third wheel every time we’re together?”

“I assure you that we can do that,” Castiel answers for Dean, and makes his way back to his seat. He moves it even closer though, and rests his one hand on Dean’s knee. Dean gets back down to business and works on finishing his pancakes. “What are our plans for today?” Castiel asks Sam.

“I thought we could just hang out at the beach this morning, and then if you guys want to, there’s a pretty cool water fall about an hour from here. They offer snorkeling, swimming, tubing, and all kinds of stuff. Want to check that out?”

“Yah, that could be fun,” Dean says, “Why not!”

*****

A little while later they find themselves walking back down to the beach. Even though he made himself very clear about not wanting to show any kind of PDA, Dean finds it harder than he thought it would be not to reach out to hold Cas’s hand. He compensates by throwing an arm around both Cas _and_ Sam as he takes in the shining sun and the blue sky. “This is the life, ain’t it?” He asks happily.

Sam laughs at his brother’s enthusiasm, “It’s a beautiful day, that’s for sure.” They’re not alone on the beach today, but there’s still only a dozen people scattered across as far as he can see. _I guess sharks don’t keep people away for long_ , he thinks. “Here good?” he asks as he comes close to where he spent the afternoon yesterday.

“It’s as good a spot as any,” Cas supplies. They all drop their belongings and strip off of their shirts. “Are you joining us this time, Sam?”

“As long as there’s no funny business going on between you two in the water,” Sam insists.

Dean smiles playfully, “You’ll neeever know if there is.”

“No funny business,” Castiel assures Sam. “Dean doesn’t like PDA,” he explains as they all walk towards the water.

“More like Dean doesn’t want everybody to know he’s gay,” Sam says.

“Dude, I am _not_ gay!”

“Yah, okay, Dean. Tell that to your boyfriend,” Sam says sarcastically.

That’s the first time Castiel has heard himself referred to as Dean’s boyfriend out loud, and even though he knows Sam is only saying it to tease his big brother, he finds he likes the sound of it very much. He even laughs a little at Sam’s joke.

“Cas knows I’m not gay,” Dean insists.

Though they haven’t talked about it specifically, Castiel knows better than he’d like to just how much Dean enjoys women. “Dean obviously enjoys the… company… of women as well as men,” he settles on.

“I do not ‘enjoy the company of _men’_ ,” Dean repeats looking at him in disgust. “What the fuck?”

“Woah, Dean, calm down,” Sam says and gives Cas a reassuring look. “Cas _is_ your boyfriend, isn’t he?”

“Yah, so what? That doesn’t mean I like guys!”

Sam and Castiel share a confused look as they wade into the water. “I have no idea what he’s talking about,” Castiel says quietly to Sam. Dean hears him.

“Look, just because I like Cas doesn’t mean I like _all_ guys. It’s just Cas, okay?”

“Yah right!" Sam laughs. "You’ve been attracted to other men before. You're not exactly subtle.”

“Oh yah? Like who?” Dean challenges.

“Like Dr. Sexy,” Sam answers easily. “And what about Harrison Ford when he was younger? I know you liked him!”

“Okay fine, but those aren’t real people, Sam. The only guy I’ve ever been attracted to in real life is Cas.”

Castiel can feel warmth spread through his body as the words Dean said sink in. He’s the only guy Dean has ever found attractive. That feels really, really nice. “Really?” he asks Dean quietly.

Dean looks at Sam like he’s kind of embarrassed now, and Sam takes the hint to give them a little space so he dives under the water. Dean catches Cas’s hand under the water knowing that nobody can see what he's doing, and strokes the back of his hand with his thumb. He finally answers Cas so quietly he can barely hear himself over the waves slapping against their bodies, “Only you, Cas. Ever.”

Castiel feels like his entire body is about to explode, but in a good way. He’s so warm and fuzzy inside he could burst. “Only you for me too, Dean. I’ve never had these kinds of thoughts or feelings for anybody else. Male or female.”

Dean smiles sweetly and his eyes search the water to make sure Sam’s still under before he says, again, very quietly, “It feels different for me, too –“ Sam comes shooting out of the water with a splash, “- angel,” he finishes before he can stop himself.

“Angel? Is that like the ‘I’m not gay’ version of an endearment?” Sam teases. “I hope Cas doesn’t start calling you ‘human’.”

“You can shut the fuck up any time now, Sam,” Dean says and splashes him with water. That starts an epic water fight between the two brothers that Castiel frequently finds himself in the middle of. He changes which side of the battle he’s on based on who splashes him at any given moment. Every time he thinks they have called a truce and the fight is over, it starts all over again with one of them trying to get the best of the other one. Eventually Sam gives up and seems quite annoyed when Dean won’t stop splashing him even after he’s asked repeatedly, and he ends up storming angrily out of the water towards the beach.

“Ahhh, I missed that bitch face of yours, Sammy,” Dean calls after him. He laughs as Sam flips him the bird over his shoulder.

“You should have stopped when he asked you to,” Castiel says seriously.

“Sam would’ve dropped dead of a heart attack if I stopped when he asked me to,” he laughs. “Brothers are supposed to piss each other off. It’s in the handbook.”

“I’m pleased you’re no longer considering me your brother then, because I think I would find you quite annoying.”

“I’m hurt, Cas!” Dean fakes. “You’re supposed to find me adorable and irresistible. And sexy. And laugh at all my jokes,” he adds.

“Should I be taking notes?” Castiel says sarcastically.

Dean laughs again. “I think that might be two jokes in one day! Is that a new record for you?”

“Maybe you’re rubbing off on me,” Castiel answers.

“You know,” Dean says as he moves to close the space between them, “I think I actually did that this morning,” he says suggestively. Then he puts his hands on Cas’s hips under the water to pull him in so that they’re touching from the waist down only. Castiel runs his hands up to rest on Dean’s chest automatically before he remembers Dean doesn’t want him to do that. His face falls and goes to move away and Dean says, “It’s okay, Cas.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just hard to remember not to touch you when you look at me like that,” he says honestly.

“I’ll make sure to look at you like this more often then,” Dean whispers softly as he moves even closer to Cas. _Who cares who sees them, really?_ Dean finds himself thinking, when suddenly he is interrupted by a very loud -

“EVERYBODY CAN SEE YOU!” Sam yells from his space on the beach and he doesn’t even care about the attention he draws to himself from the few people scattered around him because he can see his brother’s head whip towards him as he takes a giant step back from Castiel. He laughs at how easy that was and goes back to what he was doing.

“Awkward,” Dean says as he glances at the people on the beach looking their way.

Castiel’s eyes are wide with panic as he sees heads turned in their direction. ”Yes, I don’t like everybody looking at us,” Castiel admits nervously.

Dean does not like to see Cas like this. “Don’t worry about them. Let’s just have fun swimming a little longer and then once most of them take off we can get out and I'll kill Sam, okay?”

“I think I might enjoy watching that,” Castiel says with a laugh. “Thank you, Dean.”


	10. Chapter 10

After all three guys have a quick bite to eat for lunch, they hop in the Impala and take off towards Rainbow Springs State Park. Sam swears it isn't supposed to be a gay joke and it's just a coincidence, but Dean's not convinced. Dean is driving of course, with Sam riding shot gun and Cas in the back seat, because no matter who is dating who, some things don't change. Sam is navigating using his phone and Dean asks, not for the first time, "Are we there yet?"

Castiel has laughed every single time Dean has said this and Sam kind of wants to punch him because they all know it only encourages Dean to do it more. Dean knows it's not actually that funny but at the same time he thinks it’s hilarious that Cas is laughing because he's pretty sure he's only doing it because of what Dean said earlier about his duties as his boyfriend. He wonders how many times he can get him to laugh at the same joke. 

"Less than ten minutes to go, according to Google Maps," Sam answers. 

"Is there a specific order of events when we get there or can we do whatever we want once we arrive?" Castiel asks.

"There's supposed to be a really interesting show in the amphitheatre about birds in the area," Sam says. "Before I get all wet from the water I want to watch that."

"A show about birds? Seriously? We go on vacation and that's your idea of fun?" Dean asks. 

"Not everybody considers getting drunk and sleeping with their best friend a fun holiday," Sam retorts.

"Don't knock it until you try it," Dean answers. Then adds, "No wait, don't actually. Because I'm pretty sure Cas is your best friend, too, and that just sounds like something Becky would be into," he shudders. 

Sam laughs darkly. "Don't remind me," he says. "What're you two going to do while I watch the show?" he asks, knowing there is no way in hell Dean wants to watch a show about birds.

"While I wouldn't be uninterested in learning more about some of my Father's creations, I thought Dean might be more interested in GeoCaching," Castiel answers.

Sam turns in his seat to face Cas and says, "That's actually a really good idea, Cas. I think Dean will like that! How'd you hear about it?"

Castiel holds up his phone. "I'm on the website right now," he smiles. 

"What the hell is GeoCatching?" Dean says from the front seat.

"Geo _Caching_ ," Cas corrects him. "It's kind of like a treasure hunt. You have to find specific coordinates to collect the cache, and then that cache will lead you to another one. Some of them are easy to find and some are quite difficult, from what I've read so far."

"And these cash thingies are hidden in the water fall?" Dean asks, clearly not getting it. 

"No, they're hidden in the surrounding areas. The gardens, the hiking trails, by the spring itself, the picnic area, the camping area, and probably by the concession stands so they can try to entice us to purchase something." 

"Concession stands? Like snacks?" Dean asks. "Maybe they'll have soft pretzels! Or slushies!" Dean says excitedly. 

"Focus, Dean," Sam says. "We should be coming up on the entrance any second, keep an eye out for the sign." It’s barely out of his mouth when Dean realizes he has almost missed it, so he makes a sharp turn to ultimately get to where he needs to go. Sam pays the five-dollar entry fee and soon enough they are parked and ready to go. 

"Have fun with the birds, Sammy. Don't get shit on," Dean teases. 

Sam looks past his brother to Cas and says, "Good luck with that,” as he gestures towards Dean.

"Shut up, he loves me," Dean says without thinking about what he said. Then he immediately freezes. He turns to Cas and says, "I didn't mean that you, like, _love_ love me."

Castiel looks confused. " _Love_ love you? What's the difference? How do I know if I  _love_ love you or not?" 

Dean sputters for a second, "Oh, I just, uh… I didn't mean -"

"Dean," Castiel cuts him off, "I'm teasing you. I know what you meant,” he laughs softly as he gives his arm a gentle rub. “Don’t panic.”

Dean lets out a loud puff of breath, "Pfft, I'm not panicking."

Sam is enjoying this way too much. "God I wish I had been recording that."

"Let's  _go_ Cas," Dean says as he pulls Cas away, and he makes sure his brother is still looking at him when he gives Cas's ass an obvious squeeze. He's satisfied when he sees Sam wince like he’s in actual physical pain. He then looks up at Cas to see an amused smile on his face. 

"So PDA is discouraged but ass grabbing is perfectly fine?" Castiel asks. 

"You got a problem with that, buns of steel?"

"No, not at all," Castiel responds. "Just making sure I understand where we stand."

"Well just to be clear, only I can grab _your_ ass in public. You can't grab mine," Dean says. 

Castiel pouts. "That's hardly fair.”

Dean laughs. "Okay fine, how about I let you sneak in a free ass grab while we're GeoCaching to make up for it? Just this once."

"That sounds very satisfactory," Castiel responds with a laugh of his own. "Let's go get the instruction sheet from that cabin over there," he says as he gestures in front of them. And away they go.

*****

Cas is pleased to discover he was right and Dean is completely into GeoCaching. Before they know it, their sheet is filled and they go return it to the teenage worker inside the cabin to claim their prize with big smiles on their faces. Cas stands too close to Dean, as usual, but Dean is so used to it he hardly notices.

“You looked up the answers online, huh?” the worker laughs. “Not the first time this has happened.”

Dean’s offended. “No, we didn’t. We followed the clues like you’re s’posed to.” Cas nods his agreement.

The guy laughs, “Yah, right. Nobody’s _that_ fast.”

Dean shoots him a cocky smile and replies, “We are.”

The kid seems intrigued. “Seriously? Are you like, detectives or something?”

Dean looks at Cas out of the corner of his eye and smiles, “Something like that,” he responds and Cas snickers at the joke.

“That is so totally cool!” the kid replies. “Here’s your collector’s coin for your prize. You can get it engraved with the date for a couple of bucks if you want to keep it as a souvenir or whatever,” he offers.

Dean looks to check in with Cas and sees an eager look on his face.  “Yah, sure, looks like Cas is interested in that,” he says with a smile as he rests his hand on Cas’s lower back. It just feels natural.

“I thought so! Lots of couples on their honeymoon like to have it done,” he says as he goes over to the machine. “It’s probably the whole Pride flag thing with Rainbow Springs State Park that brings so many gay couples in after they get married,” he finishes.

Dean’s jaw drops and so does his hand. “Dude, we’re not _married_.”

The poor guy’s face turns red as a tomato as he stammers out an apology. “Crap. I am so, so sorry, mister. I just thought – I don’t know why I thought that,” he shakes his head. “I’m really sorry,” he says again. “Please don’t put in a complaint about me.”

And now Dean feels bad for the kid. Something about him reminds him of Sam when he was younger. Probably because of how he doesn’t seem to have grown into his long arms and legs yet. What’s the harm in telling him about him and Cas, anyway? It’s not like he’s ever going to see the kid again.

“Nah, man, it’s okay. We’re not married, but we are kinda together,” he admits.

The kid looks between Cas and Dean like they might be playing a joke on him or something, so Dean reaches over to take Cas’s hand. He’s been wanting to do it all afternoon anyway. Cas beams at Dean’s display of affection.

“Oh thank God, you almost gave me a heart attack,” the guy laughs. “It’ll just be another minute and then I’ll have these ready for you,” he says as he turns away from them. Dean thinks the kid probably can’t get away from them fast enough.

They browse through the gift shop still holding hands as they wait for their coins. “Why does everybody think I’m gay?” Dean says angrily.

Castiel decides not to mention the fact that he’s currently holding hands with a man. “I doubt everybody thinks you’re gay,” Castiel says. “That’s the first time I’ve heard anybody say that to you.”

“It’s not the first time _I’ve_ heard anybody say that to me. Sam and I used to get it all the time when we checked into hotel rooms together. Nobody’d believe we were brothers. And,” he remembers and turns to face Cas, “this one time a guy hit on me at a bar, too. Turns out that guy wasn’t actually gay, but still, he hit on me.”

“Dean, that’s only a handful of people out of all the people you’ve ever met,” Castiel soothes him. “Why does it bother you so much?”

“It doesn’t _bother_ me,” Dean reacts instantly and lets go of Cas’s hand. Cas gives him a look and Dean finishes, “Okay fine, it bothers me. I dunno. I guess it kinda bugs me because I JUST figured out that I have this thing for you, and apparently everybody else in the whole damn world can take one look at me and see it.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t see it until you told me,” Castiel says.

“Yah, well, you’re an angel. You have an excuse.”

“Actually, being an angel should have helped me see it easier. I put you back together molecule by molecule, Dean. If anybody should know you, it should be me," Castiel clarifies.

“That’s because it wasn’t there then, Cas. I didn’t even know you before you pulled me out of the pit.”

“Yes, but I still should have been able to sense your sexual attraction to men,” he says. Then he corrects himself when he sees the scowl on Dean’s face, “For  _some_ men, I should say. And I didn’t.”

Dean’s had just about enough of this chick flick moment and wants to put a stop to it. He looks around to make sure nobody else is watching before he takes a step closer to Cas and places his hands low on Cas’s hips. “Can you sense it now?” he says gruffly.

Castiel can feel his heart rate pick up and he automatically leans towards Dean with every intention of kissing him when the teenager interrupts them by clearing his throat loudly. “Excuse me, misters?” They take a step away from each other and make their way back over to the counter holding hands again. “Got this all done for ya’s,” he says. “It’s on me for stickin’ my foot in my mouth,” he says.

“That’s not necessary,” Castiel says.

“I insist,” he says and hands them their coins. “I hope you enjoy the rest of the park.”

Just then Dean feels his pocket vibrate and lets go of Cas’s hand to reach for his phone, so Cas answers, “Thank you very much. I’m sure we will.”

They leave the cabin, and Cas holds the door open for Dean. Dean says, “Sam’s done with the bird show. He says he met some people and they’re all going to go on a canoe ride or some shit. You into that?” he asks.

Castiel shrugs. He has no idea if he’d like that. “Whatever you want,” he says.

“Paddling sounds like a lot of work for vacation,” Dean offers. “There’s nothing you want to do while we’re here? Didn’t see anything you liked on the website?”

“Well, there’s one thing but I don’t think you’d be interested,” he says.

“Hit me,” Dean replies.

Castiel’s eyebrows draw together. “Why would I hit you?”

Dean closes his eyes for a second in disbelief then shoots Cas an appraising look. “Another joke?” he asks.

“Got me,” he says with a quirk of his lips. “I would be interested in taking a closer look at the gardens.”

“Gardens, huh? Is this about your bee thing again?” Dean asks.

“I wouldn’t be disappointed if we spotted some,” Castiel answers honestly, “but the website said the garden is a cultural asset of the park, and I’d very much like to see it.”

Dean nods. Who’s he to say no to what his boyfriend wants to do? “What the hell. Let’s go check out some flowers then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Point to note: Rainbow Springs State Park is a real place in Florida and I did some research while writing these two chapters. It was a total fluke that this came up while Googling, and I loved the name so had to go with it haha
> 
> https://www.floridastateparks.org/park/Rainbow-Springs


	11. Chapter 11

Some time after Dean’s head has been filled with more information he ever thought he’d have about flowers and plants, they’re just about ready to leave the garden. Dean is surprised to find he doesn’t mind listening to Cas teach him about the different things they’re looking at. The way Cas talks about it all is a mixture of information and personal anecdotes of when he last saw this flower or this tree and it’s much more interesting than when Sam's trying to teach him something. Sam always sounds like he’s reading from a text book. Cas sounds like he’s reciting poetry.

Dean gives his head a shake, “Listen man, this has been very nice and all, but I gotta get out of here before they ask for my man card back. I think this is the gayest thing I’ve ever done.”

Castiel doesn’t bring up the fact that they were sexually intimate together only that morning. Instead he says, “You realize your life would be much less complicated if you let go of all of these ridiculous gender-based stereotypes you have, right?”

“Yah, yah. Save the speech for another day, okay? Finish up what you’re looking at here and I’ll send Sam a text and see if he’s done with his loser friends.”

Sam’s response comes quickly and he says he will meet them at the waterfall in ten minutes.

Dean tells Cas what Sam said and adds, “I’ll go take a leak and meet you at the entrance there,” he points so there’s no confusion, “in five minutes, okay? Then we’ll make our way to the falls.”

Castiel says, “Do you wish me to accompany you?”  
  
“To the bathroom?” Dean asks. “I may have spent the last ninety minutes looking at flowers but I don’t need my friend to go to the bathroom with me yet.”

Castiel notices how Dean slipped up and called him his friend, but doesn’t say anything, “Alright. I will see you in five minutes then,” and he checks the time on his phone to make sure he doesn’t forget. Castiel watches Dean walk away and it’s then he realizes he never did grab his butt while they were GeoCaching. He completely forgot until now. Oh well. With his phone out, he decides to take a few photographs of the azaleas the park is famous for. The next time he looks at the clock on his phone he sees the minutes have slipped away from him and he’s actually a minute late, so he stashes his phone back into his back pocket and walks quickly towards the meeting spot he and Dean agreed upon.

As he gets closer he thinks he can hear Dean’s laugh and he's happy with the thought of Sam meeting up with them a little early. He rounds the corner towards Dean’s voice and freezes in his tracks. There is a short, voluptuous woman standing in front of Dean wearing a very tiny tank top and jean shorts that are much too short for any decent person to wear in public, with her long hair tied back in a high tail. With her hand resting on Dean’s bicep and a flirtatious smile on her face. Castiel's entire body instantly fills with an icy rage. Who does this woman think she is touching _his boyfriend_ like this? And why is Dean just standing there allowing it to happen while he very obviously takes a good look at the cleavage she has put on display?

He stands there a moment more before he decides on his plan of action. This is his boyfriend, he just got him, and he will fight to keep him if he’s required to. He takes another few steps forward before saying, “Hello, Dean.” He gets a sick feeling in his stomach at the way Dean’s face falls, and Castiel can see the moment Dean discovers how close that woman’s standing to him and how she’s touching his arm. “Sorry I’m late,” he finishes as he reaches Dean’s side.

 _Shit,_ Dean thinks. But before Dean can even get a word in to explain anything Cas slides his body between Dean and the woman in front of him and takes a hold of him by the back of the neck to pull him in for a possessive kiss. The kiss is obviously a release of all the tension that’s been building between them since this morning tainted with a tinge of Cas’s desperation and fear. With a groan, Dean’s arms wind around Cas’s waist and then quickly run up to his body to his shoulders to pull him even closer to his own body. _This is so fucking hot_ , he thinks before Cas pulls off of his lips with a wet pop. Cas’s body is braced against his own and Dean keeps his arm around him without thinking about it.

His mind isn’t even working properly yet when he hears Cas say, “My apologies, Miss. I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Dean’s boyfriend, Castiel.”

He extends his arm as if to shake her hand, but she puts both hands up in front of her and says, “My bad. Nice to meet you. See ya around,” and takes off quickly around the same corner Castiel came around a moment ago. Castiel immediately puts distance between him and Dean and crosses his arms across his body.

Dean has recovered enough brain power at this point to find amusement in the situation. “Wow Cas, really?” he asks. “Jealous much?”

Castiel considers the word and realizes that yes, he was indeed very jealous. He hasn’t experienced any kind of jealousy even close to what he just felt seeing Dean with that woman and he hopes he won’t feel it again. “Yes, I was jealous. She had no business touching you like that. You are _mine,_ ’ he says fiercely and takes a step closer to Dean.

Dean is genuinely surprised to feel a thrill of excitement run through his body as he hears Cas claim him like that. It’s his bad-ass angel voice and he’s always fucking loved that. In the back of his mind he registers that he'd have warning bells going off right now if Cas were a chick and acting jealous like this, but instead he finds he _really_ likes it coming from Cas. “I have no idea why, but that makes me really fucking hot,” Dean says honestly.

Attraction practically crackles in the air between them and Dean is considering going in for another kiss when Castiel’s eyes widen with recognition. He, too, finds he is breathing quite heavily and blames the rush of adrenaline and the kiss with Dean. He clears his throat, takes a deliberate step back again, and says, “I suspect you would feel differently if you just walked in on me looking down the shirt of a woman plastered all over me.”

Turns out Cas is right. Dean feels jealousy flood his body at the thought and suddenly he isn’t nearly as aroused as he was a moment ago. It feels like somebody just poured a bucket of cold water on him. “You’re right,” he says. “I’m sorry, okay? Old habits die hard and all that, right?” he says to try and lighten the mood a little bit. Clearly, Cas is not amused. “Listen, I may have been looking –“ Cas narrows his eyes at the admission – “but I never would have touched her, okay?”

Castiel can feel the beast within his body calm slightly at the words. He nods, but that’s all he’s willing to give right now.

Dean can tell he isn’t quite out of hot waters yet so continues. “If I wanted to be with a chick I would be with a chick. But I’m not. I’m with you, because you’re the only person I want to be with right now.”

“Sure, until somebody who looks like _that_ comes along. Then I’m sure you’ll change your mind pretty quickly,” Castiel pouts.

Dean shakes his head. “Nope, I don’t think so, Cas. I told you earlier, nobody’s made me feel like this before, remember?” Cas uncrosses his arms and Dean thinks he’s headed in the right direction. He swallows his pride and takes Cas by the hand. “It’s taken me a long time to figure out that you’re what I want, but now that I know, I’m not gonna forget it anytime soon, okay?” Cas nods gently. “You know I’d never cheat on you, right?”

“You’ve never cheated on anybody before,” Castiel says, remembering a long-ago conversation between Sam and Dean. “I remember.”

“If the day comes around when this ain't working for you and me anymore, I’m gonna tell you. Because I don’t want you to stop being my best friend. Ever, Cas. Friends first and friends after, okay?”

“I don’t want to be just friends with you anymore,” Castiel admits.

“Believe me, I am feeling way more than friendly towards you right now, too,” Dean laughs. “And it’s gonna take a hell of a lot more than a nice pair of tits to make me forget that,” he says with a wink.

Castiel sighs and shakes his head at Dean. “Sometimes you really don't think before you speak, Dean,” he says with affection.

“But you still think I’m irresistible and sexy, right?”

Castiel tilts his head and admits, “Probably more than what’s wise.”

Dean gives a big smile in return. “Good! Don’t forget it! Let’s go meet Sam before he thinks we stopped off for a quickie somewhere.”

Castiel snorts in a very Dean-like way as they begin walking to meet Sam, and says quietly, “Like you’re getting any any time soon.”

Dean trips over his own feet but catches himself before he falls. “You are full of surprises, you know that?”

“You have no idea,” Castiel replies sassily.

Dean lets out a low whistle and that’s when he sees his brother.

"Finally!" Sam exaggerates. 

Castiel pulls out his phone to look. "We're four minutes late. I apologize. Dean was distracted by a woman with large breasts," Castiel explains. 

Sam shakes his head. "You are such a pig. In front of Cas, too?" 

"So, what? You're gonna gang up on me now whenever I fuck up?" Dean asks defensively. 

"Yah, Dean," Sam answers quickly. "I'd say the same thing to Cas if he was checking somebody out in front of you, too! It's just a dick thing to do." 

"Yah, yah. I apologized. Can we go see the water fall now?" 

Sam leads the way with Cas keeping pace beside him and Dean a little ways behind them. probably brooding. 

Sam says quietly, "Are you really okay, Cas?"

"I've been better," Castiel responds honestly, "but I believe Dean didn't mean to hurt my feelings. That eases the hurt some." 

"Sounds about as good as it could be right now. Listen. I know Dean's my brother by blood but I think of you as a brother, too. I know you don't really have anybody else to talk to about any of this stuff so if you ever need to talk, I'm here, okay? No judgement. Ever," Sam says seriously. 

"Thank you Sam, that's very kind of you."

Sam raises his voice a little and says, "You know, if things work out between you two we could officially be brothers-in-law one day." 

"Am I wearing a sign on my back that says _Equal Marriage Rights_ or some shit?" Dean asks. "This is the second time today somebody has brought up me and Cas and marriage. And we haven't even been together for an entire day! What the hell is  _thatI?_ No freakin' wonder I never date anybody," he finishes under his breath. 

Sam laughs at how uncomfortable his brother is. "Okay, true. But you guys have been best friends for, what, five years. It's easy to see how close you are. I think because you guys already knew each other so well it's kinda like you automatically started off on the tenth date or something. And usually by the tenth date, you can tell if it's going to work out long-term or not. Or at least if you want it to," Sam explains. 

"We haven't even been on a date at all though," Castiel says, looking panicked. 

"Netflix and Chill is a classic first date," Dean quips, but Sam and Cas don't get the joke. _What a pair of losers_ , he thinks fondly. "But anyway, I never would have touched you at all if I wasn't serious about wanting to be in a relationship with you, Cas." Dean answers him. "I have more respect for you than that."

Sam exaggerates a happy sigh and places a hand on his heart. "Dean Winchester. Seriously dating somebody he actually respects. I gotta admit, I didn't know if I'd live to see the day." 

"Yah well, now you have and you can die a happy man. Just, you know, not right away," Dean says with a laugh. Because who the hell knows with the three of them. 

"I'm not sure I could manage a trip back down to Hell right now, so if you could both stay alive for a little while I would very much appreciate the break," Castiel adds. 

"Cas has been full of jokes and sarcasm today," Dean explains to Sam. 

"You must finally be rubbing off on him," Sam says. 

Castiel looks back at Dean over his shoulder and they both burst out laughing. Sam looks confused for a split second before he understands what he said and then he makes a gagging gesture and keeps walking ahead of them. Sam's face makes Dean laugh even harder and he has to brace himself on a tree. He feels tears gathering at the corner of his eyes and wipes away the moisture. 

"God, I think the last time I laughed that hard was the night I brought you to that brothel," Dean says. And the memory makes him laugh a little more. 

"Not one of my finest moments," Castiel says.

"But fucking hilarious," Dean says.

"Lets go catch up to Sam. It's starting to get late," Castiel says, knowing Dean is going to start complaining about being hungry any time now. 

"I'm starting to get hungry, too," Dean says and Castiel prides himself on just how well he knows his boyfriend. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of smut coming after this, so enjoy the sweet fluff while it lasts :P

Sam stands where the path veers off to the viewing area for the falls. The hanging trees hide most of the view until they step under them, and then suddenly all three of them are struck dumb.

"Holy shit," Dean says quietly.

"This is _amazing_!" Sam comments. "I've never seen anything like it!"

"It's not natural, but it's still beautiful," Castiel adds.

"Not natural?" Dean asks.

"No, I'm afraid this isn't my Father's work. It's a man-made water fall. But that doesn't take away from its beauty. It's truly breathtaking."

"Man-made, huh? I don't know if I've ever seen anything so beautiful," Sam comments.

Inspiration strikes Castiel and he leans forward to whisper in Dean's ear, "I have."

The combination of the breath on Dean's ear and the compliment Cas is implying sends a shiver down Dean's spine. He feels like a girl for thinking it all the time, but nobody has ever made him feel like this before. Depending on what the situation is, Cas can make him feel hot, powerful, smart, funny, and now... kind of special. He didn't know he was missing that in his life until now. He turns to face Cas and cups his face in his hands.

He glances around and doesn't see anybody close enough to be worried about, so he says, "Hey Sam? I'm about to break my own PDA rule."

"Aw man," Sam says as he deliberately turns away from the two of them. "Hey look! A turtle!" he says excitedly and then he takes off down the path.

Dean lifts Cas's face towards his own and he dips his head slightly to meet his lips almost as slowly as he did the first time. His stomach clenches in anticipation. It's a soft brush of lips at first but Cas opens for him eagerly, and soon they are lost in the now familiar taste of one another. Dean feels Cas's hands on the small of his back and when his thumbs dip down to rest inside the waistband of Dean's shorts. His fingers are on top of the fabric but are closer to his ass than his waist. Dean changes the angle of the kiss and it somehow becomes even sweeter, and Cas crowds in even closer. Dean can feel some sort of pull inside of him dragging him closer to Cas and he can barely stand it. It's just _so much_. He breaks away gently but keeps his arms looped around Cas's neck and their faces close together.

"Were you sweet talking me?" Dean asks Cas softly.

"Not purposely. It just popped into my head. I didn't mean -"

"The only time people ever compliment me is to get in my pants." Cas wiggles his thumbs and Dean laughs. "You get a pass because I know that isn't what you were going for." Dean has to look away from Cas's face in order to sincerely say, "Thanks, Cas. It's nice to hear." And he kisses him one more time before he runs after his brother to see the damn turtle.

Castiel is surprised he hid his reaction as well as he did. He doesn't know how Dean didn't feel it, but for a moment he is certain he could feel grace from Dean trying to get to him. It was magnetic. He could feel himself being pulled towards it and actually moved closer to Dean without actively making the decision to do so. He has no idea what it means, but he knows it's got to be significant.

Of course, a small amount of his own grace was used to put Dean back together after he pulled him from the pit. But that was years ago, and while he had his initial concerns about what grace would do inside a human body, he has watched Dean closely for _years_ and never saw any signs of it interfering in Dean's life at all. It was always like it was just laying there, dormant.

He doesn't know what it means now that he so clearly felt it come to life inside of Dean for the first time. Did Dean notice? Should he ask him? He doesn't know. He decides to think about it more later. For now, he wants to continue this amazing day and go check out the turtle that has both of the Winchesters so excited.

He finds both brothers taking pictures of a truly giant turtle swimming in the spring. "Do you see the size of this thing?" Dean exclaims excitedly.

"It's pretty big," Castiel agrees.

"That's what she said," Dean replies automatically and then looks over to see Sam with an evil smile on his face. "Don't even say it!" Dean warns. He has a feeling Sam wants to point out the pronoun he just used.

"If I didn't think you'd retaliate by being disgusting, I would. But there'll be a next time," he says assuredly.

"What am I missing here?" Castiel asks.

"Don't worry about it," Dean says. He turns to look up at the water fall behind them and says, "Man I wish I could jump off of that sucker."

"You can," Castiel says.

"Cas, you have no idea what's at the bottom of the water fall. Dean could land on a boulder and smash his head open," Sam explains.

"No, I saw on the website that there's a jumping ledge. It's not all the way up at the top, but it would be safe or they wouldn't allow people to do it, correct?"

Dean's eyes are scanning all around the water fall but he doesn't see anything. "Are you sure? I don't see anything."

"I'm sure. Hang on," Castiel says as he walks back to where the trail broke off. "Yes, there is a sign here with an arrow pointing in this direction," he calls to them.

They both walk over to see it for themselves and Dean says, "Sweet! Let's go!"

"I'll wait here," Sam says.

"What? Why? You scared of jumping, Sammy?" Dean teases.

"Don't be an idiot. I thought I could hold your phones and watch your stuff while you jump, then you can hold mine while I jump."

"Shit, I totally would've jumped with my phone in my pocket," Dean says with an amused smile as he hands everything over to Sam. "You'll never crack the password so don't even bother," he warns his brother. He and Cas both take their shirts and sandals off and leave them there, too.

"Thank you, Sam," Castiel says politely.

"Make sure to look cool because I'm going to take a video!" Sam warns.

Castiel and Dean follow the signs posted on nearby trees. They never would have found this without them. They have to go through what looks like an old ruin of some sort. It's a wall built of stone with a door in the middle of it. Castiel is awed by it.

"This is _real_ ," he says.

"Of course it's real," Dean says, confused.

"Not man-made, I mean. This has been here for centuries. See how the moss has grown to almost completely cover the rocks?"

Looks like a big pile of rocks to Dean. "Cool," he says without feeling. "Can we keep going?"

"Sorry, I got carried away," Castiel says sheepishly.

"No big deal," Dean says as he continues through the doorway. Not surprisingly, the doorway is the entry to the ledge. There isn't anybody working there like Dean thought there would be. Instead there is a large plaque with all of the dos and don'ts of cliff jumping. Dean barely gives it a glance as he goes to check out the cliff but Cas, of course, goes over it one word at a time.

If Dean thought the water fall was cool from below, he can't even describe what it looks like from up here. It no longer looks peaceful and serene. Instead, he's surprised by how loud and powerful it seems. He feels the adrenaline pump into his body.

"You about ready there, Cas?" he asks.

Castiel shakes his head. "I don't think this is a very good idea. There are too many things that could go wrong. You could get seriously injured if you jump the wrong way."

"Cas, I'm jumping with or without your permission, you know," he says with a hint of attitude.

Castiel does not look impressed. "I think you might have forgotten that I'm an Angel of the Lord, Dean. I could easily keep you here if I chose to," he says severely.

As he uses his angel voice again, Dean realizes as a shiver moves through his body. He has really got to get a handle on his reaction to hearing that. "But you won't. Because I would be pissed, and you know that. This isn't how a relationship is supposed to work. You have to still let me be me, or what's the point?"

Castiel swallows his fear. He knows reason when he hears it. "You're right, of course. I apologize. I let the fear of you getting hurt get the best of me for a moment. You being unapologetically you is something I have always admired most about you," he says. He moves so that he is standing right next to the edge with Dean and looks down at where they're supposed to land. It eases his fear some to see it's really not that far at all. The list of safety precautions and potential injuries it said are really exaggerated, he realizes. He decides to play it up though. "One last kiss before we're both paralyzed for life?" he asks.

Dean makes a considering face, "Can't say no to that."

He lets Dean come to him again but this time Dean starts the kiss by nibbling on Cas's ear. He seems to take days following the line of Cas's jaw before he finally claims Cas's mouth with a groan. "I can't get enough of this," he says between kisses. "You feel so good, Cas."

Their tongues slide together in a tantalizing dance, turning Castiel on more and more every time Dean's tongue enters his mouth. Castiel decides to finally take advantage of the free ass grab offer from earlier and slides his hands all the way down to cup Dean's ass in his hands. " _Dean_ ," he gasps. He feels so good in his hands, and Castiel realizes he never wants to let him go.

"Fuck, Cas," Dean replies as he allows himself to be pulled against Cas while their tongues plunder into one another's mouths eagerly. He can feel their half-hard cocks bump together, sending a shot of desire through his body, and he has to resist the urge to pull Cas down into the dirt to finish this right now.

Castiel catches Dean's bottom lip between his teeth and pulls away gently. He waits until Dean makes eye contact with him and then says, "Jump!"

Before Dean can register what's happening, Cas has pulled him roughly over the edge and they are both falling fast towards the water, holding hands the whole way down.

They both crash into the surface of the rolling waters feet-first, and manage to keep a hold of each other even after the force of the jump pushes them down. Dean catches his bearings first and starts kicking his feet towards the surface, dragging Cas up with him before Cas starts kicking as well. Soon enough, both of their heads break the surface of the water and then they are both gasping for breath and talking over each other about how amazing that was. They linger in the spring for only a minute before climbing out to make their way over to Sam.

"That was _amazing_!" Dean says enthusiastically.

"The foreplay or the jump?" Sam asks, teasingly.

"You watched all that? You dirty perv," Dean jokes.

"It's a good thing I did or I would have missed the jump completely. Good one dragging him over with you, Cas. You should have seen his face when he started falling. Priceless!" Sam says.

"Did you capture it on video like you wanted to? I would like to see it," Castiel says.

"Yep! I did it on your phone so you could keep it. You guys can watch while I go. Don't get _distracted_ ," he says obviously, "and forget to video me, okay?"

"I promise," Cas replies.

"Have fun! Don't be a pussy, Sam."

"Shut up, Dean," he says as he turns away from them to make his way to the ledge.

Dean gently pushes Cas's hair off of his forehead before he looks over Cas's shoulder at his phone and says, "Okay, let's see my hilarious face," he says.

Before they get to that though, they have the rare opportunity to see themselves together on top of the cliff. They are quite a distance away so not every detail is crystal clear,  _thank God,_  but as he sees himself plant kisses along Cas's jaw he knows he has never treated any woman with the tenderness he can see all over his face on the video in this moment. He can feel that warm, glowing feeling inside of him again.

Castiel inhales sharply. He can sense the grace calling to him once more. It's no less shocking this time even after already experiencing it once.

"We look hot, don't we?" Dean says misinterpreting Cas's reaction.

Castiel is saved from answering by hearing Sam's voice over the recording saying, "I am  _so_ sleeping with my earbuds in tonight."

Dean bursts out laughing and the intimacy of the moment is broken. Castiel feels the grace slip away again.

"I can't believe my brother took a video of the first time my boyfriend touched my ass," Dean says as he watches it happen on the screen.

Castiel laughs. "You owed me one," he reminds him.

"Kinda funny that Sam ended up watching them both," he adds and they both laugh at the absurdity of that. Just then, Dean sees Cas pull away on the screen and knows he's about to get dragged over the cliff. He sees the look of shock on his own face and they both laugh out loud because Sam is absolutely right, he looks like he's about to shit his pants. They're both still laughing when Cas notices Sam come into view at the top of the cliff.

"There's your brother," he gestures. He swipes away from his own video and turns the recording on.

Dean shoots him a thumbs up and Sam returns it before he takes off running at full speed and throws himself over the edge with a loud whooping noise. Dean and Cas both smile at his enthusiasm as they watch him splash into the water. It's a few seconds before he pops up again with an enormous smile on his face. "That was incredible!" he says once he meets them back up on the bank. He shakes the hair out of his face and asks to see the video.

Cas and Dean are both mostly dry at this point so they get their stuff back on while he watches.

"Why don't you two go back and get Dean the soft pretzel he wants so badly. That should hold him over until we drive back, then we can clean up and go out for dinner somewhere. Does that sound like a plan?"

"Works for me!" Dean says. "Cas, you _have_ to try the pretzel," he says excitedly. He turns back to Sam, "Meet you at the car?"

"Don't let him buy the whole store, Cas," Sam warns him.

"Don't listen to a word he says," Dean says as he throws his arm around Cas and begins to explain the different sauces and flavours you can get on a soft pretzel.

Sam shakes his head at them both as he watches them walk away arm in arm. All joking aside, it makes him happier than he thought he would be to see the two of them together. Even if he does have to fork out the cash for another room, he laughs. Totally worth it.


	13. Chapter 13

They have a short discussion on the way home about getting a second room back at the hotel. Cas and Dean insist it isn't a big deal and that they want Sam to stay with them so they can all spend time together. Sam's rebuttal is that Cas and Dean are just starting to figure out what their relationship is and that it will be easier to do that when they don't have an audience. He also brings up the fact that although there is currently a set of doors between them, they're not sound-proof and he doesn't want to hear any sex noises from them. Dean and Cas share a glance, and ultimately, that's what shuts them both up and Sam wins the argument.

When they get back to the hotel Sam goes to change their rooms. They both only need one bed now, and those rooms are cheaper than the two bed room they have now, so while Sam’s gone, Cas and Dean pack up Dean's belongings that have scattered throughout the room since yesterday. Cas's stuff is all together neatly in a pile. By the time they get everything ready to go, Sam returns with two new room keys and hands one to Dean.

"I had my doubts about adjoining rooms but I went with it anyway. Do not make me regret this," he warns them but with a smile.

"Surely we won't make that much noise," Castiel says seriously. "That would be excessive."

Dean shoots him a cocky smile and says, "Famous last words."

Sam holds up his hands in surrender and says, "Okay, okay. That's enough. Let's move so we can get ready and go out. Even _I'm_ hungry," Sam says.

Dean unlocks the door to the new room and holds the door open for Castiel to walk through. Castiel sees it's the same modern decor as the last room they were in, but this time there is a king size bed instead of a double for them. For some reason the sight of the bed dominating the room makes his stomach do a nervous flip. He shoots Dean a nervous look.

Dean drops his bag on the floor and makes his way to Cas. Cas does not meet his eyes. "Hey," Dean says kindly. His fingers tilt Cas's chin up to force eye contact. "Don't worry about the bed or anything else. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Hell, I'll sleep on the floor if you really want me to," Dean reassures him.

"That's ridiculous. I don't even sleep. If I didn't want to share a bed with you I would be the one to move elsewhere," he replies.

"So nothing to worry about then, right?"

Castiel shrugs. "A lot has happened in the last 24 hours, Dean. This time yesterday all I knew was that you were my best friend, and that I always felt better when I was close to you. Now today I have all of these feelings inside of me. One minute I feel safe and adored, the next minute I feel nervous and scared, then I see you with a woman and feel jealous, and the next minute I'm sexually aroused..." he takes a deep breath. "It's exhausting. I haven't felt this drained since I was human," he finishes.

"That's a lot going on all in one day, huh?" Dean smiles softly. "Anything I can do to make it better?"

Castiel shrugs again because he really doesn't know.

"C'mere," Dean says as he opens his arms to Cas. Castiel walks into them and places his head on Dean's shoulder. Dean wraps his arms around him tightly and just holds on. Castiel loops his arms around Dean's waist and can feel a warmth spread through him. He closes his eyes to savour the feeling. A few seconds pass before Castiel realizes he actually does feel better. He smiles and pulls away.

"Thank you, Dean. I do feel quite a bit better now. I had no idea a hug could just make everything go away like that," he says.

"I think it depends on who’s doing the hugging," Dean replies. "I happen to give some of the best hugs in the world. That's why I don't give them out too often. It's not fair to everybody else," he jokes.

Castiel smiles at him like he's the best thing he's ever seen. "You should get cleaned up so we can go eat. I'm sure you're starving."

"Damn right I am. You gonna mojo clean again and get changed out here?" Cas nods. "Okay, I'll be back in a few." Dean says as he walks away.

Castiel knows exactly what he's looking for when he digs into his bag. He chooses a bright blue collared shirt (a polo, he remembers Sam telling him) and a pair of dark brown chino shorts. He doesn't know where they're going, but Sam said no more diner food for today. Castiel thinks this attire will be appropriate for wherever they go. He fixes his hair, as much as it can ever really be fixed, and he is just about to declare himself ready when he notices his lips in the mirror. Decidedly less dry than yesterday, but he could still use more of that lip chap. He feels completely at ease going into Dean's bag to pull it out of his pocket from the night before. He applies it to his lips and tucks the tube in his pocket for the evening.

Just then, Dean comes out of the bathroom. He's now dressed in a body-hugging black t-shirt with a shallow v-neck and a pair of dark blue jeans. The cut of the t-shirt really shows off his muscular arms and Castiel has a hard time dragging his eyes away to look at the rest of him. He does eventually, and sees Dean's hair is pushed up purposely and perfectly to the side and he notices he didn't shave, which is giving him a very masculine five o'clock shadow. He looks extremely attractive and Castiel knows he will never get tired of looking at this man.

Dean sends a smirk Cas's way as though he knows exactly what Castiel is thinking. He crosses to him and Castiel manages to say, "Your body is extremely attractive."

Dean smiles genuinely because that was such a _Cas_ compliment and says, "Ditto," as he openly gives Cas a once-over. "We should have taken you clothes shopping years ago. Every time I see you in something new I can't believe the body you were hiding under that damn trench coat. Can we burn it when we get back home?"

Castiel feels a warmth inside of him at hearing Dean refer to the bunker as their home. He never thought he'd have a home on Earth and it's a very comforting feeling. "No, we can't burn it. I like that coat," Cas explains.

They hear a knock on the inside door and Dean walks over to open their side. Sam is standing there in shorts the same as Cas's but a lighter colour, and a white button-down shirt that has chocolate brown checkers and many different shades of blue running through it. "I like the colours in your shirt, Sam," Castiel offers.

"You look like a teacher," Dean adds.

Sam ignores his brother and says, "Thank you, Cas. You guys ready to go?"

"Where are we going?" Castiel asks.

"It's a surprise," Sam answers with a big smile at his brother.

Cas's entire face lights up. "I love surprises!" he exclaims. Both Sam and Dean look at each other in bewilderment. They very rarely see Cas excited about anything.

"How is he this adorable?" Dean says. Cas blushes at the compliment. Then Dean looks at Sam and says, "Is it just me or is he adorable?" Cas's face goes even more red.

Sam catches on to the game and nods in agreement, "He's pretty adorable."

Castiel actually covers his face with his hands and says, "Stop! Please!" And Dean and Sam both laugh at his reaction and they give him a nudge to start walking towards the door.

They load into the Impala in their usual seats and Dean waits for some directions before he pulls out of the parking lot. They just hit the road when Sam turns to Cas and asks, "So you love surprises, huh? Is that something you developed a taste for after years of the two of us surprising you by dying every other year, or is it from the evil things that jump out and surprise you before they try to kill you every other day?" Sam jokes.

"I hope we're not doing anything like _that_  tonight," Castiel says. "I just like the idea of a surprise. I've never actually experienced a good surprise, but the anticipation of knowing something good is about to happen but not what it is specifically is very thrilling."

Dean nods along, "Makes sense. Though Sam never said it was going to be a good surprise."

"I think we'll all have a good time. Okay, turn here Dean, it's just around the corner."

The second the restaurant comes into view Dean bursts out laughing. "Margaritaville?" he asks happily. "We haven't been to one of these in forever!"

"The last time was my 21st birthday," Sam reminds him.

"The one and only time I've ever seen you shit-faced," Dean adds. He parks the car and turns to Cas, "He got so drunk he danced around the tables with the waiters and waitresses singing the Margaritaville song."

"And then I almost threw up on somebody's table and we were asked to leave."

Sam gets out of the car so Cas and Dean follow but Dean says, "We didn't get asked to leave. We got kicked out. Of a Margaritaville," he smiles broadly at Cas and Cas is enjoying the picture the two of them are drawing for him.

"Are we aiming for that kind of evening again?" Castiel asks.

"I do have a weakness for a good margarita," Sam says wistfully. "But I doubt it will get that out of hand. One of us has to drive home after all."

"We're on vacation, Sammy. I can leave Baby here for one night and we can cab it back if you want to have a few drinks," Dean offers.

"But you never want to leave Baby over night!" Sam says.

"Shut up about it or I'll change my mind," he jokes. "Let's go!"

Castiel is happy when Dean reaches for his hand as they walk into the restaurant. They're seated almost immediately in a booth and Castiel takes in the environment. It is unlike any restaurant he has been in before. It seems like a fun place, and he likes that. Dean and Sam seem happy and relaxed, and he likes that even more.

An attractive waitress comes over and introduces herself. Castiel notices that Dean is polite and chatty as ever but for once, he is not flirting with her. "Can I start you three handsome men off with a round of margaritas?" she asks.

"Make one strawberry, and we're sold," Dean says.

"Great, I'll be right back with them."

"Strawberry?" Sam asks. "Since when?"

"It's for Cas." Cas looks as confused as Sam. "He said he liked the taste of the strawberry sauce on my pretzel earlier," he explains.

"Wow, Dean. You actually listened when somebody spoke to you and remembered to include that information when making a decision? Who are you?" Sam jokes. Dean gives him the middle finger in a mostly-joking way.

"It's very kind of you to remember that and try to find something I'll enjoy, too, Dean. Thank you," Castiel says earnestly.

"It's nothin' Cas. I just really want to get you drunk," he says with a laugh and he gives Cas's hand a pat on the table. Sam is surprised when Dean leaves his hand covering Cas's but he doesn't say anything.

The waitress returns with their drinks and passes out menus. Sam lifts his glass and says, "Here's to the best vacation we've ever had!"

Dean adds, "And not just because it's the only one we've ever had," and they all clink their glasses together and sample their drinks.

Castiel absolutely loves the sweet, icy drink and his eyes light up. "This is delicious," he comments. "There's alcohol in here?"

"Yep. That's why margaritas are so dangerous. You can't taste it so it kind of sneaks up on you," Sam says. He and Dean open their menus to check out the food.

"I'm not worried about that. It takes a large amount of alcohol to have any effect on me," Castiel replies.

"Have you even had tequila before?" Dean asks. "I've seen you do shots but that was whisky."

"And he's had beer," Sam adds.

"Come to think of it, I believe you're right, Dean. Alcohol is alcohol though, is it not?"

Dean gives a shrug. "Different people have a different tolerance for each kind. I know it won't take me six margaritas to be as tipsy as I was last night on six beer. I probably only need half."

"Really? That's very interesting," Castiel says.

"What are you thinking for food?" Dean asks Sam. "More rabbit food?"

"Actually, I think these Volcano nachos are calling my name tonight," he replies.

"I was looking at those too, but then I saw the tacos," Dean says. "Does anything look good to you, Cas?" Cas is sucking back his drink like he's been thirsty for days. It's already almost gone and Dean's only had one sip of his own. "Take it easy there, man," he says with a laugh.

Castiel smiles sheepishly and says, "It's very good."

"Don't listen to him, Cas. Drink as much as you want!" Then Sam and Dean exchange a glance. "Wow, that was like the Twilight Zone for a minute there," Sam laughs. Dean laughs with him. "Seriously though Cas, food? You might need it if you're gonna drink."

Castiel glances down at the menu and says, "Maybe just some fries? The nachos do look appealing as well," he concedes.

"How about we get a bunch of stuff and share it all?" Sam asks.

"Deal!" Dean says as he closes his menu.

The waitress returns to take their orders and they definitely order way more food than they will ever eat. Dean also orders a second margarita for Cas. As the night carries on, the three of them keep the conversation light and easy, and they all enjoy each other's company, the mountain of food, and the night out. Cas keeps his one-drink-ahead lead and with each drink he finishes, he talks more, laughs more, and generally becomes more bubbly. Sam and Dean do as well, but it's such a difference in Cas's personality that it's easier to see in him.

Dean and Sam are three margaritas in, and Sam is not quite drunk enough not to notice how Cas and Dean move closer and closer to each other as the alcohol keeps flowing. Dean was openly holding hands with Cas even before he had a drink, but it slowly escalates from there. He notices Dean stroking the back of Cas's hand with his thumb. Then he sees his arm drop down beside him under the booth and knows he has his hand on Cas's knee. He thinks it's between drink two and three that Dean puts his arm around Cas's shoulders and from that moment forward, you couldn't stick a piece of paper between the two of them if you tried.

Thankfully for Sam there is something to distract him from this. Maybe it's because his brother is currently infatuated with Cas and isn't hitting on the waitress, but the waitress is definitely into him tonight. He isn't usually into one night stands, but tonight he's going to use Dean's excuse of, "I'm on vacation!" The next time she comes around he asks her if she has plans for after work, and from there they decide to go down the street to a quieter bar when she's done in ten minutes. Dean keeps saying how proud he is of Sam and Sam has to keep shushing him, but he hasn't crossed the line to obnoxious just yet so everybody is still having fun.

Sam goes up to the bar to pay for the meal and drinks they have had so far, and leaves instructions to use the card number to cover whatever else Cas and Dean buy after he leaves. Once that's taken care of, he hits the bathroom to freshen up, relays to Cas and Dean that everything is paid for, and is ready and waiting when the waitress comes to collect him from the table. He gives his brother and Cas one last wave and he's outta there.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut.

Dean and Cas are alone.

Dean watches his brother seal the deal with pride. "That's my baby brother!" Dean says to Cas as if he hasn't already said that a dozen times tonight. "Cheers me, Cas! Cheers to Sammy finally getting some!"

Castiel laughs because Dean is very funny tonight. "To Sammy getting some!" Castiel repeats, and then he laughs some more. They both finish the drinks in front of them. Dean makes eye contact with the man behind the bar and wiggles his empty glass in the air. The man nods and Dean knows he got the message. He turns to Castiel and says, "I hope he's not the only one who's gonna get some tonight," and smiles an invitation.

Castiel has already been fighting back his desire for Dean for most of the night. He has suspicions that perhaps tequila is an aphrodisiac and nobody told him. Every time Dean touches him he feels like fire catches. He has already stopped himself from kissing Dean more times than he can count. If Dean keeps talking like this, Castiel doesn't know if he can resist any longer.

"Not if I get a say in it," Castiel answers. He realizes that he's looking at Dean's lips again. The tip of Dean's tongue darts out to moisten the seam of his lips. The sight of it sends another jolt of desire straight to his dick. He makes eye contact with Dean and he can tell by the look on his face that he did that on purpose. Then he says the words out loud. "You did that on purpose."

Dean laughs. "What are you gonna do about it, angel?"

Castiel closes his eyes for a second to absorb the endearment and then opens them again to say, "I love when you call me that."

"I love when you look at me like that," Dean replies.

"Like what?" Castiel breathes. Dean's face is closer to his now than it was a second ago. He doesn't know who moved.

"Like you want me." And Castiel nods to agree. "And more, though. It's like you have little cartoon hearts in your eyes, Cas," he laughs and lifts his hand to rub his thumb on Cas's cheekbone. "I know you _like_  me when you look at me, and that makes me feel good."

Castiel is smiling so big at Dean that his face hurts. At that moment they hear somebody cough obviously and they look to see their next round of drinks has been delivered.

"Thank you!" Castiel says enthusiastically and attacks the glass with equal enthusiasm.

"You wanna get out of here after this one?" Dean asks.

"Whatever you want," Castiel answers.

There's about a dozen things Dean wants right now and none of them can be done in a booth at a restaurant, Dean thinks. Well, actually, now that Sam is gone...  

Dean moves the arm closest to Cas back down to rest on his knee. Except he only leaves it there for about a minute before he moves it just a little bit higher up. He takes a drink and lets his thumb stroke back and fourth inside Cas's leg. He takes a glance at Cas and sees that Cas looks like he's concentrating very hard on the glass in front of him for no apparent reason. He moves his hand up higher. Now it's resting where Cas's leg meets his groin. He turns his head to look Cas in the face and Cas looks back at him with wide eyes and pink cheeks.

"Dean?" he asks.

"Something wrong?" Dean asks back, teasingly. Cas looks down where he knows Dean's hand is and then back at Dean obviously. "Want me to stop?" Dean asks.

Castiel really, really doesn't. He shakes his head the tiniest bit, and Dean takes that as an invitation to move his hand over far enough to trace the hardness between Cas's legs with a single finger.

Castiel inhales sharply through his nose. He cannot believe this is happening right now. Dean is touching him intimately in a room full of dozens of people. He knows he has to keep his reactions to himself or they will get caught, and he doesn't think this is something that's legal in a public place. But it feels so good, and he knows he's at least a little bit drunk, and the combination is making it hard to hold everything in.

Dean moves his hand over to completely cup Cas's hard cock. He has got to be so uncomfortable trapped inside those shorts, Dean thinks. He himself is half-hard right now and he wants out of his jeans already. He rubs his hand, caressing Cas's dick as vigorously as he thinks he can get away with without getting caught. Cas groans softly and the sound goes directly to Dean's crotch.

"We need to leave. Now," Dean whispers roughly into Cas's ear.

"Immediately," Castiel responds. And his voice is rough, too.

Dean tips back the rest of his drink and gives Cas's cock one more squeeze before he slides out of the booth.

Castiel puts his hands under the table and rearranges his penis as best he can so that it won't be standing at attention when he gets up from the table. Dean smiles at him because he knows exactly what he's doing and then they're both laughing as they leave the restaurant.

Dean has his arm around Cas and they lean against each other to stay up. They're going to call a cab but its a nice night and they want to walk it off a bit first.

"I can't wait to be alone with you in our room," Castiel says. And Dean has to bite back a groan because for Cas, that's dirty talk. His eyes dart around them and he sees a dark alleyway so he tugs Cas by the hand down there.

Dean immediately has Cas pressed up against the brick wall and he shoves his way in between Cas's legs. Then his lips are on Cas's and it's a desperate mix of lips, tongue and teeth. Cas's hands find Dean's ass and he holds on to keep from grinding against him.

Dean's hands are everywhere. He starts at Cas's shoulders and runs his hands down to lace with Cas's. That isn't enough though, and he moves his hands back up to Cas's chest. He feels around until he finds a nipple and rolls it between his fingers. Cas bucks his hips and turns his head to the side breaking their kiss for the first time, so Dean attacks his neck with his mouth. He sucks and bites and he knows he's leaving marks but he doesn't care. Doesn't sound like Cas cares, either.

Cas is actively seeking friction between them and Dean moves to straddle one of Cas's legs so they can grind there. They are both panting and groaning and Dean has a vivid image of cumming in his pants like a damn kid, and that's what gets him to take a step back.

Castiel moves towards him again instantly because he is nowhere close to being done yet, but Dean pushes slightly on his chest to keep him away.

"We need to get back to that hotel room, Cas. We can't finish this here," he says taking in the unbelievable sight of Cas's swollen lips, then adds, "no matter how much I want to. And I really fucking want to."

"As do I," Castiel responds.

They take a minute to get themselves back in order and then walk out to the road to catch a cab. They're only minutes from the hotel but it feels like much longer. They don't trust each other to even touch in the back of the cab, so they sit as far away from each other as possible. It does nothing to calm the attraction pulsing between them. Dean practically throws cash at the cab driver and Cas crowds against him as he tries to open the door. Cas is still fully hard and Dean can feel it against his hip. It makes it harder to get the damn door open.

They finally make it through the door and now Castiel is pushing Dean towards the bed as he fuses his lips to Dean's. He doesn't stop until they reach the bed, and then he pulls back and waits for Dean to tell him what to do. It's as if he knows he wants to be in this bed with Dean but he doesn't know what to do once he gets there.

Dean looks him in the eye and says, "I do anything you don't like and you tell me. Promise?" Cas nods. "We can stop any time you want okay?"

"I don't want to stop," Castiel says.

Dean doesn't want to stop either. He grasps Cas's shirt at the hem and lifts it up over his head in one quick motion. Again, he's surprised by how much he loves Cas's body. He pushes him so that the back of his knees hit the bed and he falls back and moves into the middle of the bed for Dean. Dean makes quick work of his own shirt and drops it on the floor. He crawls his way across the bed to Cas and finally latches on to those fucking hip bones with his mouth. He could stay here for days. He licks and sucks and bites gently at first, and then hard enough to leave marks. He kisses his way across Cas's lower stomach and gives the other hip the same treatment.

Cas is writhing beneath him but he doesn't touch him even once. Dean makes his way up to the centre of his stomach and kisses as many freckles as he can find. Who knew Cas had freckles on his tummy? _Fucking adorable_ , Dean thinks. He loves them.

Dean moves up to concentrate on his nipples. He licks one and hears Cas moan. He fucking loves how responsive he is. He brings a hand up to pinch and roll his other nipple while he sucks and bites this one. Cas is coming up off the bed and his hands are grasping the bedsheets beneath them. Dean covers Cas's hands with his own and looks up to meet his eyes. Cas is absolutely beautiful like this. He can feel his heart melt in his chest. "Jesus, Cas," he breathes. "You're beautiful."

Cas shakes his head in denial but Dean moves up to swallow his protests with his mouth. He brings their hands up beside their heads and their fingers twine together. It hits Dean like a bullet that this is intimate. This is not just sex. Cas matters to him and it adds a sensual layer to every touch. He has to say it.

"Cas - " he whispers as he kisses the corner of his mouth. "I - I... care about you so damn much," he stutters. "This -" he says as he kisses him again, "is so much better because of how much I care." He lets go of his hands to cup his face, "It's never felt like this for me before you. Only you, Cas," he finishes as he kisses Cas again. Sweet and slow, showing him everything he just said.

Suddenly Cas grabs Dean and picks him up like he weighs nothing to switch their positions. Dean is on his back now with Cas pressing their foreheads together.

Dean realizes Cas must have used his angel mojo to flip him over and Goddamn that's hot. Cas's shockingly blue eyes are full of feeling when he cups Dean's face exactly the way Dean did his only seconds ago and says, "You are everything to me. I _feel_  because of you. I feel so much, Dean. I want to show you."

Castiel begins making his way down Dean's body as he savours every inch. He caresses each bulging muscle with his hands and then follows them with his mouth. He dips his tongue into Dean's navel and gets a huffed laugh in return. He smiles as he begins to open the button to Dean's jeans and pulls down the fly. Dean lifts his hips to help Cas as he begins to pull them down.

This is the closest he's been to Dean's penis and he takes in every detail. He sees the wetness at the tip and traces it with his finger. He hears Dean bite back a curse. He remembers Dean spitting into his own hand this morning and does the same now. Then he grasps Dean's hard cock in his hand and pumps it the way Dean did earlier. He is rewarded when a thick bead of pre-cum squeezes out. He swipes the tip of his fingers through it again and before he can even think about what he's doing, he brings his fingers to his mouth and sucks it off. It's salty and bitter but there's something very _Dean_ about it, and he wants more. He remembers the movie yesterday and how the man used his mouth on the woman to lick her. Surely he can do that to Dean?

He makes eye contact with Dean and lowers his head slightly.

Dean's heart is pounding so hard he can barely breathe. He almost came just seeing Cas lap up his cum like that. Now it looks like Cas is going to... no, there's no way Cas is going to... but Cas lowers his head more and looks at Dean like he's asking a question.

It takes every ounce of his willpower to say, "You don't have to do this, Cas."

"I think I want to. Do men... do this?" he asks.

"Everybody does it," Dean answers. In his head he's begging for it but he will not put that kind of pressure on Cas. "We don't have to do it tonight."

"I want to," Castiel says, and with those words he bends all the way down and licks the tip of Dean's penis.

"Mmmmm, Cas," Dean gets out. Castiel is encouraged by his reaction and does it again. He continues to trail his tongue down the side of Dean's cock and then licks back up to the top. Dean is writhing beneath him now fighting the desire to thrust up into his mouth.

"I don't know what else to do, Dean. Tell me," Castiel says.

Dean's breathing hard and tries to put it gently as possible. "You can put it in your mouth if you want to. Suck on it. Keep licking it like you were. Just use lots of spit and lots of friction and you can't go wrong," Dean says. "Everything you do to me feels amazing."

Castiel takes in everything Dean said and goes to work.

Dean feels him lick up and down the shaft to make it as wet as he can, and then he goes blind with desire as Cas takes his entire length into his mouth in one quick movement. "Jesus fucking Christ, Cas," he gets out as he throws his head back. Every fantasy he has ever had about those pink lips wrapped around his dick is coming true and it's almost more than he can take.

Castiel thinks that's probably a good reaction and he does it again. He's amazed at how far he can get Dean's cock down his throat. Dean seems to really be enjoying this. He can feel Dean's hips come up off the bed under him and is surprised that he likes it. It reminds him of intercourse but with his mouth and he stops as it clicks that he's having oral sex for the first time.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," Dean says in a chant not knowing why Cas stopped. "Feels so fucking good I couldn't stop. I wont do it again, baby, I'm sorry."

"I liked it," Castiel says honestly and sees another bead of pre-cum leak out of Dean's penis. Obviously Dean likes that too, so he adds, "Don't stop," before he laps up the newest pre-cum and swallows Dean whole.

This time Dean's hands come up to sink into his hair and Castiel likes that a lot. He moans around Dean and Dean thrusts up sharply into the roof of his mouth. Castiel lets his neck muscles go lax slightly so that Dean can position him the way he wants him. Dean is gentle at first and keeps asking, "Okay, Cas? Okay?" But he must understand that it is because soon Dean is fucking Castiel’s mouth without restraint. Castiel can feel Dean's hands tug on his hair a little and moans again. That feels good.

"Cas I'm so close. I'm so, so close, Cas. Cas I'm going to cum in your mouth if you don't pull off," Dean warns him. He tries to pull away but Cas is clamped on to him and is not letting go. "Cas! Cas, Cas, Cas I'm coming, I'm coming Cas - _Cas_!" he calls out.

Castiel’s mouth is flooded with that same salty taste as earlier, but much more. He loves it. He swallows down every drop and sucks to try to get more before he feels Dean gently push his head away. He looks up to see Dean with his arm draped over his face breathing heavily. His body is absolutely perfect.

Suddenly he's aware of how painfully hard his own dick is and one hand goes down to undo his pants and relieve the pressure. Dean must hear the zipper because he says sternly, "No, Cas, don't. I got you, okay? Let me."

Dean sits up and pulls Cas down where he was laying a minute ago. He pulls Cas's pants the rest of the way down and sees him swollen and dripping. "You were so good to me Cas. Felt so good. I'm going to make you feel good, too, okay? I'm going to make you feel so fucking good, angel."

Dean has never done this before, but he's been on the receiving end more than his share and he thinks he can make Cas feel good, too. He doesn't necessarily like the idea, but he pushes away every thought about what he's about to do and doesn't think about anything other than giving Cas pleasure as he returns Cas's blow job.

The second Dean gets his mouth on Cas he comes alive underneath him. It's like trying to hold down a live wire. He uses his hands to press down on Cas's hips to keep him still but he's still thrashing around desperately. Dean can't take him very deep but he makes up for it with an enthusiastic tongue and lots of humming around Cas.

It's a surprise to no one when Cas says, "Dean. Dean, I think I'm nearing my climax," only minutes later. Dean pulls off and strokes Cas through his orgasm. Cas spills fast and hot onto his own stomach with Dean's name on his lips.

Dean grabs the blankets that fell off the bed and crawls up to lay beside Cas on the bed and Cas instantly turns towards him to lay on his chest. Dean covers them both and strokes Cas's back with affection as he basks in the afterglow of truly spectacular sex.

"You are amazing, Cas. You have no idea what you do to me," Dean praises him.

"I was not prepared for how good that would feel," Castiel answers. "I'm glad I could pleasure you, Dean. It increases my own arousal to give you pleasure. I did not expect that."

"I didn't expect any of this," Dean answers honestly. "I meant what I said earlier," he says softly. "It's never felt like this for me before. It's just... more with you."

Castiel feels his chest inflate with happiness. "You make me very happy," he says.

"Me too, Cas." He kisses the top of his head. "Me, too." He lets out a yawn and a second later he can feel the stickiness between them disappear. "I love your mojo," he says through another yawn.

"Sleep, Dean. You're tired."

Dean nods and they automatically switch positions so Dean isn't on his back. Dean lets out a happy sigh as Cas's arms come around him. _Safe_ , he thinks. "You can get up and do whatever if you want to, k? You don't have to stay here."

"There's nowhere I would rather be,” Castiel says honestly.

 _Happy_ , he thinks this time. "G'night, Cas."

"Goodnight, Dean."

And he's out.


	15. Chapter 15

Castiel lays there for a long time holding on to Dean. He never knew this vessel could hold so much happiness. Eventually the afterglow fades bit by bit, and he is brought back to the cold reality of having to tell Dean about the grace he can feel coming from him. He felt it stronger tonight than he felt it during the day. He has figured out a pattern to it and recognizes that it starts calling to him when Dean is acknowledging his feelings towards him or when he is acting particularly sweet and caring, but he doesn't know the exact reason for it. He knows he doesn't want to hide anything from Dean though, and he resolves to talk to him about it at the first opportunity.

The next thing he is aware of, his eyes open to Dean stirring beside him and muted light seeping in through the curtains they forgot to close last night. He doesn't remember closing his eyes, but he must have. He feels the absence of the exhaustion that was dragging him down yesterday, and wonders if it's possible that he slept. He knows he lost a chunk of time.

Castiel feels Dean leave a trail of opened mouth kisses across his neck and then up to his mouth for a long, lazy kiss. They break apart and he snuggles in to Cas's side once again. "Mornin', angel," he breathes. Castiel didn't know it was possible to be this happy.

"Good morning, Dean. I believe I fell asleep last night," he says.

Dean looks up at him, "Really? That's new. Is it a good thing or a bad thing?"

"I'm not sure," Castiel says. "I know I feel better than I did yesterday. I think I may have been feeling tired and didn't recognize what it was."

"Do you think there's something wrong? Do you need to go back to Heaven or something?"

"I don't feel as if there's anything wrong," Castiel explains. "It's just new. Perhaps I don't require sleep but can occasionally fall asleep if I choose to?" he asks more to himself than to anybody. "Regardless, I feel better. And it was very nice waking up next to you," Castiel says.

He leans forward to kiss Dean again. They don't break apart for some time. While they are both at least somewhat turned on from the attention they are giving one another and because they're both still naked from the night before, there is no urgency there and neither of them take it any further than kissing and soft caresses.

"I could get used to waking up like this," Dean breathes between kisses.

Finally Castiel pulls away and says, "There's something we need to discuss."

Dean feels his heart drop into his stomach. "You're uh, not breaking up with me, are you?" He tries to smile like he's joking, but he can't bring himself to do it. He didn't know until this moment how scared he is of Cas leaving him like everybody else.

"Don't be ridiculous, Dean. I could never break up with you," he responds quickly and honestly.

Dean feels his body relax and his heart start beating again. "Okay, what's up then?"

"I'm sure you remember when I told you about the terrible state your soul was in when I brought you back from perdition," Castiel begins. Dean swallows hard and nods. This is not something he likes to talk about and he knows Cas knows that. "What I failed to mention is that I had to use quite a bit of my own grace to help put you back together. You would not have been able to cope on Earth had I not done that, and that wasn't an option when the world needed you so badly. You have carried that grace within your body as part of your soul since you came back," he says.

"I have grace?" Dean asks. That's crazy. He would have felt it if he had some, he's sure.

"My grace," Castiel clarifies. "I watched you closely for years after you returned to see what kind of effect it might have on you, because as far as I know, no angel has given grace to a human before. But I never detected anything at all and I finally came to the conclusion that my grace must have blended into your soul so perfectly that your body wasn't even aware it was there. I believed that and never felt a need to mention this to you... until yesterday."

"What happened yesterday?" Dean asks.

"I could feel the grace inside of you calling to me," Castiel says.

"When?" Dean asks. His mouth is dry though, because he thinks he already knows the answer.

"At the water fall," he replies and Dean feels his breath catch in his throat.

"And when we were watching the video?" Dean asks. This time it's Cas who is caught off guard and his eyes widen in surprise. "And last night too, right? When I was telling you... ya know, how I feel about you or whatever?"

"You can feel it?" Castiel asks in awe.

"I could feel something, but I didn't know what it was until now." His head is spinning. Is he feeling the grace because of the feelings he has for Cas, or is it the grace _making_ him have these feelings for Cas? Is that why all of this is happening to him so fast? He never felt half this much for Lisa and he was with her way longer. He goes cold at the thought. "Cas, I need to ask you something and you have to tell me the truth,” Dean says.

Castiel nods, "Of course, Dean. I won't lie to you."

Dean sits up and looks Cas straight in the face. "Is your grace inside of me the reason I'm falling for you so fast?"

Castiel didn't know what he was expecting Dean to ask him, but it wasn't that. He hears the words _falling for you_  echoing in his head for a few seconds before he realizes he could lose everything with the answer to this question. He meets Dean's eyes and says heavily, "I... I don't know." He knows that Dean's feelings are there, but are they there _just_ because of the grace? He doesn't know. He has never cried as an angel, but he can feel hot tears fill his eyes as he says the words. He doesn't want it to be true, but he just doesn't know.

Dean drops his head and closes his eyes. This can't be happening to him. After all of the years he spent pushing aside the feelings he had for Cas and burying his desire for him under woman after woman, he finally acknowledges how he feels about him, makes a move, and has the two best days of life where he feels truly happy... and now this? He feels like he can be himself when he's with Cas in a way he never has been with anybody else. None of the walls he usually has up about needing act masculine and hiding his feelings out of fear are there when he's with him. Cas has knocked them all down and now he finds out it might not even be something he ever had a choice about?

But that thought brings the sinking feeling inside of him to a dead stop. Because he _did_ have a choice. For years he made the choice to ignore it. To forget it. To pretend the effect Cas had on him wasn't there. And he was able to. He could stay away from Cas when he wanted to. But now he doesn't want to anymore.

Dean looks up at Cas and he can feel his heart break a little bit at just how devastated he looks. No tears have fallen but his eyes are still shining with unshed tears. He should have known Cas would be sitting there blaming himself while he thought all this through. "Oh angel," he soothes and he wraps his arms around him as tight as he can. Cas lets out a sob and Dean doesn't think he can take seeing him like this. "Cas, it's okay. It's okay, Cas. It's not your fault," he kisses him softly on the lips but Cas doesn't return the kiss.

"It's _not_ okay, Dean," Cas says, his voice breaking on the words. "I don't know if this is real for you," he finishes and he refuses to look at Dean.

"That's what I'm trying to say, angel. It _is_ real," Dean soothes again and runs his hand through Cas's crazy hair. "Listen to me," he insists and waits for Cas to look at him. "I thought the same thing as you, but only for a minute. Because I ignored the way I felt about you for years. I pushed it away and pretended it didn't exist. Every time one of your damn angel brothers told me how you felt about me I thought they were crazy or just trying to get to me. And I had your grace inside of me that whole time, right?"

Castiel nods gently. He feels what he thinks might be hope bubbling up inside of him.

"If I could make the choice to ignore it before, then it can't be the reason for this now. All that happened is that I just really thought about it - about _you_ \- for the first time and I made the choice to see what it would feel like being with you. From the minute I held your hand and you looked at me with stars in your eyes, I knew. I want this." Cas's eyes close when he hears the words. Dean waits for him to open them again before he finishes, "I want you, Cas. And if my grace wants you too, well, all I can say about that is that it has damn good taste."

Castiel gives Dean a small smile. He appreciates that he's trying to comfort him right now but he hasn't even gotten to the biggest problem yet. He sits up to break the physical contact between them.

"Dean... I have been turning away from my grace when I feel it come from you, but it's like a magnetic force. I know I will not be able to stay away from it much longer. And I'm unsure what will happen when I can't."

"Will it hurt you? Will it hurt me?" Dean asks.

"No. I'm certain my grace would never hurt either of us. My biggest concern right now is that my grace doesn't recognize that it's inside a human. It feels what you feel, Dean, and if your feelings get strong enough for me then the grace will want to share between us, and then eventually mate with mine."

"Mate? Like an animal?"

Cas tries not to be insulted by the question. "Angels are not like animals, Dean. We are a far superior species. In any case, the most crucial part of angel mating is that we take our mates for life. There is nothing that can break the bond once it's made. After a time, angels can choose not to be together but neither one can ever mate with another."

"So like a divorce but you can't re-marry?"

"Worse. An angel separated from its mate will never completely be happy with another angel because the bond with the mate never truly goes away. It's incredibly rare because almost no angel would choose to live with that kind of yearning inside them for eternity."

Dean thinks all of this over in his head. "Can the grace make us mate without us knowing?"

"Oh no, absolutely not. Among other things, in much the same way Angels require permission to enter a vessel, they also require verbal permission to make the bond."

"So what are you afraid of then? Why do you pull away from it when you feel it?"

"It's very intimate," Castiel answers and his cheeks turn red. "Sharing grace is only supposed to happen between two people who are deeply and forever in love. Everything I have ever heard or read about it says it's an amazing, life-altering experience unlike any other. The only thing better is actually bonding with a mate."

"Kinda sounds like sharing grace is like angel sex," Dean offers with a smirk.

"Except we do not share it as freely as humans have sex. I know you have had many sexual partners, for example. An angel would never dream of sharing his or her grace with that many people. Most times it's only ever the person they mate with."

"So my grace trying to get to yours is significant to you because that's basically how angels propose?"

Cas rolls it over in his mind. "Yes, that's an accurate comparison, I think."

"K, so why is my grace jumping the gun so fast? Can't you slow it down?"

"No, I'm sorry. It's directly related to how much you care about me. I believe you when you tell me just how much, because my grace wouldn't be trying to share with me if it wasn't true." Dean feels embarrassed but Cas has no idea. "You must care very deeply for me." And Castiel is thrilled with the knowledge.

"It's so much so fast, Cas," Dean says honestly. "I'm freaking out about it in my head. When I have ten minutes to myself in the shower I can convince myself to slow this down and not get ahead of myself. But then I see you and there's nothing I can do about it. It's just there inside of me. I can't stay away from you. I want to touch you every chance I get. For the first time in my life I actually want to cuddle. I want to do things that make you smile. I want to say the sappy shit out loud when I think it because I want you to know what you're doing to me." He runs a hand through his hair and drags it down his face. "But yah, there's still a part of me that wants to hop in the Impala right now and drive until I forget what this feels like because it scares the shit out of me." He finds Cas's hand and covers it with his own to lessen the blow of those words. "But I want to stay and figure it out more. I want to stay with you, scared and sappy, more than I want to do anything else. I'm falling for you, Cas, and it's too fucking fast."

He just gets the words out when he feels a surge of what he now knows is grace inside of him. Cas's eyes widen and he knows he can feel it too.

Dean doesn't look Cas in the eyes when he says, "Is it bad to say that I'm really curious about this?"

Castiel tries to pull his hand away but Dean holds on. He can feel the pull lessening though because Dean isn't thinking about his feelings anymore.

"I don't understand," Castiel replies.

"I kinda want to know what it feels like." Castiel gasps but Dean keeps talking. "I mean, if it's supposed to be the same as angel sex, I bet it feels amazing."

"It will," Castiel says, and for the first time all morning he can feel desire pooling between his legs fast and hot.

"Is there any way we can do it, you know, just a little bit?"

"No. We can't. I have no way of knowing if I can control it or not, and I will not share my grace for the first time with a taint of fear on it," Castiel answers, but he is fully hard now even talking about it. "You don't understand how tempting it is to hear you offer it, but I want it to be real. And special. I have waited too many years to throw it away like this."

"You're right, I'm sorry. I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do."

"Don't want to do? Dean..." he shakes his head and takes Dean's hand moves it under the blanket to allow Dean to feel just how much he wants to. Dean's face lights up when he realizes what's happening. "Believe me, I _want_ to," Castiel says earnestly.

"This," Dean says as he gives Cas a little squeeze, "is because we're talking about sharing grace?" Cas nods. "Sharing it with me? Because you know I want it."

"Dean, stop," Castiel whines.

Dean chuckles darkly. "Okay fine, no grace sharing. But you've gotta let me help you out with this at least, right? You're hard and we're naked. It's meant to be," he says with a laugh as he strokes Cas under the blankets.

"I will gladly accept your assistance, yes," Castiel answers seriously.

"God, I don't know why it's so hot when you talk like a robot," Dean laughs as he moves the blankets away from both of them to latch on to Cas's hip bones with his mouth. Cas is so sensitive here and Dean just fucking loves it.

"Please don't use my Father's name while you're pleasuring me," Cas says seriously.

Dean laughs against Cas's skin, "Sorry, angel. Habit. I'll be more careful."

Dean's hand wrapped around him and his mouth on his skin has finally convinced Castiel that this is happening. He gives into the want inside of him and runs his hands over Dean's back. He can't imagine ever getting tired of feeling the way the tight muscles move under his hands. How they tense up and relax depending on where he touches him. He is no stranger to power, and he has always loved how it feels. This is no different. He pulls Dean up his body so he can kiss him. He wants more.

Dean is happy to oblige and gives him everything he's got. He explores every corner of Cas's mouth, dipping his tongue in and out slowly and then more quickly. He sucks on his tongue and feels Cas buck his hips. He settles his weight between Cas's legs and they begin to rock together.

"Hold that thought," Dean says as he reaches over to the side of the bed. A second later he comes up with a triumphant look on his face and the Astroglide in his hand. Castiel remembers what Dean said it's for and his entire body goes rigid. Dean said to tell him if he didn't want to do something and he doesn't think he wants to do _that_.

"I don't want you to shove your dick up my ass," Castiel says, using the same words Dean used yesterday.

Dean fumbles the bottle in his hands and then laughs. "Jesus, Cas," he says and then catches himself using a religious name again as he sees Cas flinch slightly. "Sorry," he says, "That's not all this is used for. Trust me?"

And of course Castiel does. He watches as Dean flips the top and squeezes a small amount of clear gel on to the palm of his hand.

He makes eye contact with Cas and spreads the slick gel over his own hard-on and sees Cas breathe heavily as he watches him. "Oh yah. This is going to feel so good, Cas."

"Mmmmm," Castiel responds and his fists clench in the sheets.

Dean strokes himself again never taking his eyes off of Cas. He sees his tongue dart out to lick his lips in what he recognizes now as a nervous gesture.

"You like seeing me like this Cas?"

"It's very arousing," Castiel answers gruffly.

"Noted," Dean says and then he shuffles towards Cas holding his slicked up hand in the air as to not get it all over the sheets. "Wait until you feel this," he says as he lowers his hand to Cas's hard cock and spreads the gel all over him.

"Ugh," Castiel groans. "That's fantastic. Don't stop," he begs.

Dean continues stroking Cas for another minute but he wants more. He lowers his body to lay on top of Cas and he lines them up so that he can rut into the curve of Cas's hip and Cas's cock can rub up against his lower stomach. "Ugghhh, _Dean_ ," Castiel groans again.

They start moving together and they settle on a slow and careful rhythm so they can continue their kiss from before. Dean keeps framing Cas's face, caressing his hair, and brushing his cheek, murmuring praise and endearments the whole time.

"Cas," he breathes. "My angel."

"Yes, Dean, I'm yours," Castiel answers mindlessly, and he feels Dean break the rhythm and thrust harder into his hip. Dean likes that, he thinks, so he continues. "Nobody makes me feel this but you, Dean. Nobody... gets me hot like you," he tries and Dean groans this time and he increases the pace of his thrusting.

"Cas... _mine_. Only mine. Nobody else, Cas. Say it again," Dean says tightly and he lifts his upper body so he can see Cas's face.

"Yours, Dean. I'm yours," and he can feel the heat in his stomach that means he's about to climax. "I'm going to come for you, Dean."

"Yessss," Dean gasps. He takes Cas's mouth brutally this time and pours the fire in his body into the kiss. "Come for me, angel. Only me."

Castiel is babbling now. He's so close. "You, Dean, it was always you. Always will be you. Only you."

Dean hears those words and they send a hot-white pleasure through him and he is stunned when he feels the first spurt of come between them as his body slams into an orgasm. He can feel Cas come on to his stomach too but he can't do a thing but ride Cas's soft, slick skin until his own orgasm is over. His arms can't hold his body up anymore and he collapses on top of Cas.

Castiel brings his hands up to run his hands through the back of Dean's hair and kisses him on the temple. He feels Dean's breathing even out and he thinks he might have fallen asleep when Dean mutters, "Did you mean that, Cas?"

"Did I mean what?" Castiel asks, confused.

"Ya know. What you said." Castiel doesn't know what part he's talking about so he waits for more information. Dean kisses his shoulder and says in a whisper, almost as if he's afraid to say it out loud, "Only me. Always was. Always will be."

"I'm sorry," Castiel says, because he doesn't know why Dean's voice sounds the way it does. Tight and almost... afraid? "Did I overstep? Should I not have said that?"

Dean rolls over on to his side facing Cas, and Cas does the same to face Dean. They hold hands between them and tangle their legs together. "Did you mean it?" Dean asks again softly, this time looking Cas in the eyes.

And Castiel can see now. He can see Dean's fear. But it isn't a fear of what he said. It's a fear that he didn't mean it.

Suddenly he remembers Dean's initial reaction to being brought back from Hell. He didn't think he deserved to be saved. Castiel realizes he doesn't think he deserves this either.

He smiles at Dean and says, "I meant it," and then adds, "Good things do happen, Dean."

He watches as heat floods Dean's face and knows Dean understands what he's getting at. His face breaks out in an adorably shy smile. "I think I'm starting to believe that," he answers.

Castiel pulls him in for a hug and for the second time in one morning, he finds himself thinking that he can't believe it's possible to be this happy.

"Man, I'm starving," Dean says next, and Castiel laughs at how some things never change.


	16. Chapter 16

Dean checks his phone to see a text from Sam asking him to let him know when they're up and ready for breakfast. Dean sends a text back and says they'll be ready in twenty minutes and hops into the shower. 

Castiel gets dressed after being naked for longer than he ever has been before. He chooses a pair of blue striped swim shorts and a creamy white t-shirt with a few buttons at the collar, which he leaves undone. He doesn't like changing his clothes all the time, so he figures if they decide to go swimming later he won't have to change again, and even if they don't, he's still comfortable in these shorts. 

When Dean comes out of the bathroom this time his hair is styled and his face is freshly shaved, but he is wearing only a towel held loosely around his waist. Castiel looks over at him with raised eyebrows and Dean says, "I figure you've seen the whole package," he stops and smiles and adds, "- no pun intended, ha - a few times now so I might as well get dressed out here instead of bringing clothes back and forth all the time," he explains. 

"You won't hear any complaints from me," Castiel says with bright eyes. Really, he is feeling better than he has in as far back as he can remember. He feels happy and relaxed and he's enjoying every minute of it. He remembers kissing Dean this time yesterday with the taste of syrup on his tongue and says, "I think I'm going to order pancakes for breakfast this morning." 

"Not a bad choice," Dean says as he pulls on a pair of boxer briefs. "I need meat. Bacon," he thinks aloud. “Lots of bacon.” He chooses a pair of bold red shorts at random. Then he pulls out a well-worn grey Rolling Stones t-shirt Castiel has seen him wear many times before and carefully tugs it on over his head, then he steps into his shorts. "How do I look?" he asks with a smile. 

Castiel thinks for the expression he's heard and then tries it once he's come up with it. "I wouldn't kick you out of bed.”

"Good to know," he says as he walks over to Cas and gives him a light kiss as he toys with the undone buttons on Cas's chest. "You look good, too. You always look good."

"Thank you, Dean," Castiel says. He is pleased by Dean’s kindness. Dean has made such an effort lately to compliment him and he enjoys the attention very much. "Should we collect Sam from his room?" he asks.

Dean walks over to the adjoining door and gives it a pound. "Probably doing his hair," Dean jokes to Cas and Castiel smiles but doesn't laugh. He happens to like Sam's hair (and Sam), but knows not to say that to Dean. He's very competitive. 

A few seconds later Sam opens his side of the door and greets them both with a big smile. "Hey Dean, Hi Cas."

"Hi, Sam. Did you have an enjoyable evening last night with the waitress?" Castiel asks politely. 

"Did you finally score, little bro?" Dean asks. 

"Did _you_?" Sam asks back. 

"Twice, actually," Dean responds with a wink in Cas's direction and Cas's face floods with colour. 

"Why do I even ask," Sam says more to himself than to anybody. He turns to Cas and valiantly ignores his flushed face. "I did have a good time. She gave me her number if I want to call her again while we're here."

"Thatta boy, Sammy! I knew you had it in you!" Dean says with a proud clap to his back. 

"Stop congratulating me for having sex. It's creepy."

"If I don't do it, who will?" Dean says. 

"Nobody! And that's more than fine with me," Sam answers. "Are we all ready to go?"

"We're ready," Castiel answers and they shut the adjoining door and head out of Cas and Dean's hotel room. 

They open the door and stop dead. It is absolutely _pouring_ rain outside. "Well shit," Dean says. 

"Looks like we're gonna get wet," Sam says. They walk as far under the overhang of the building as they can, but then they have to cross the parking lot and the street. Sam takes one look over his shoulder at his brother and Cas and says, "Last one there's a rotten egg!" and takes off at a sprint. 

"Son of a bitch!" Dean says as he grabs Cas by the hand and pulls him along after Sam. "Run, Cas! We have to beat him!"

"Look at how long Sam's legs are. We'll never catch him," Castiel says as the rain hits his face. He doesn't like this at all. It's because he's getting wet and doesn't like it that makes him agree to run alongside Dean. They burst through the door of the diner not long after Sam, but far enough behind so he's about to sit at a booth. 

Dean slides in before Cas and then looks at him pointedly and says, "Looks like Cas is the rotten egg."

Sam laughs. "You never were the kind of guy to let his girlfriend win just to be nice. Guess that doesn't change when it's a boyfriend either."

"Next time I'm flying and I'll beat you both," Castiel says and that makes all three of them laugh and Dean lays his hand on Cas's knee. 

The waitress comes over with three mugs and a pot of coffee. They see it's the same waitress they had on their first day here, Jen. "Good morning fellas," she greets them. "Not a nice day for your vacation is it?"

"Maybe it will blow over," Dean offers. 

"Don't think so, sugar." Cas's eyes narrow at the endearment but Dean gives his knee a quick squeeze. "Supposed to be like this all day," she finishes. 

The boys all exchange a look but don't say anything. "Does everybody know what they're having or do y'all need a few minutes?"

"I think we're ready," Dean answers. 

"Okay, shoot."

Sam says, "I'll have a vegetable omelette please. Brown toast, and potatoes on the grill."

"I'll have the Grand Slam, white toast, fried potatoes," Dean says, "and my boyfriend will have an order of pancakes. Extra syrup, please."

Sam and Cas both smile at hearing Dean call Cas his boyfriend out loud. 

"Coming right up," she smiles and then she's gone. 

"Aren't you two cute," Sam coos at them. 

"I'm happy, Sam. Shut up," he says gently and takes a drink of coffee. 

"I can see it, you know," Sam says and Dean rolls his eyes at him. "Seriously. You're carrying yourself differently. More easily. When's the last time we had as much fun together as we had last night?" he asks to prove his point. 

"What's that got to do with me and Cas?" Dean asks. 

"Everything! If it wasn't for him you would have spent the whole night too busy trying to find a girl to sleep with to really talk and laugh with me like you did."

"That's bullshit, Sam. We're together all the damn time," Dean replies. 

"Not like that, Dean. I'm telling you, it was different."

"I enjoyed myself very much," Castiel contributes to try and keep the peace. 

"Thanks to the margaritas," Sam teases. 

"That may have been a contributing factor," Castiel agrees. "I hope we are able to spend time together like that more often."

Both boys are happy when Cas is happy, probably because it happens so rarely, so they promise to do just that. 

Some time later, Jen comes by and brings them their food. Everything looks delicious and all three of them dig in. Sam looks over to see Cas has drowned his pancakes in syrup much the same way Dean always does and he shakes his head. He points his fork at Dean and says, " _You_ are teaching him bad things," Sam says. 

"What'd I do?" Dean asks. 

"Look how much syrup he has on his pancakes! He only could have gotten that from you!"

Dean looks and says, "Looks right to me." And makes his point by cutting off a piece of Cas's pancake with his own fork and eating it. 

"Wow," Sam says with a laugh. "You two are _such_  a couple."

"Of course we're a couple," Dean says and he even leans over to give Cas a quick kiss on the lips. 

"So much for no PDA huh?" Sam asks. Castiel was wondering the same thing but wasn't going to complain. 

"Turns out I don't care about that as much as I thought I did," Dean explains around a mouthful of his breakfast. 

"I'm glad," Castiel says with one of his bigger smiles. Dean swallows and returns his smile. He sees Cas has some syrup on the corner of his mouth and wipes it away with his thumb and then licks it off. 

"You're so adorable I don't know if I can stand it," Sam comments dryly. 

"Are you going to do commentary on every move I make?" Dean questions as he shovels in another bite. 

Sam holds his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, man. It's just bizarre watching you like this. I've never seen you pay attention to anybody like this before!"

"I've never felt like this before," Dean says seriously. 

Sam actually puts his hands on his head in exasperation. "Are you seriously talking about your feelings now? _Seriously_? Cas, what did you do to him?"

Considering the conversation Dean and Cas had earlier that morning, Cas's face falls slightly but Dean rests his hand on his shoulder for a minute to reassure him silently and says, "He didn't do anything other than just be him. Back off, okay?"

Sam holds his hands up in front of him again and says, "Okay, sorry. I'm done now." He waits a beat and then changes the subject with, "What are we gonna do today?"

"You have no ideas?" Dean asks. 

"I had a few things planned for today but everything was outside. I didn't come up with any ideas for inside, which was stupid in hindsight because it _is_  the rainy season."

Dean shrugs. "I say we hit the store next door and pick up some junk food and then spend the day showing Cas all the good shows and movies he's missed out on in the past fifty years."

"Netflix day?" Castiel asks excitedly.

Dean smiles at how cute he is and almost says it, but holds back so he won't be made fun of by Sam again. 

"Even I can't say no to that face," Sam jokes and Castiel smiles even bigger. 

Dean shoots Sam a half-serious angry face and says, "My angel," like a toddler worried somebody's going to take his favourite toy away. 

"Gimme a break, I'm teasing!"

"I know you are," Dean says. "I would've punched you already if you weren't."

"Dean, I already told you I don't have romantic feelings for Sam. Only you, remember?" Castiel reminds Dean. 

Sam interrupts the heart eyes coming from his brother - seriously, what even _is_  this version of Dean? - and says, "I'm sorry, what? You already told him that once? Why?"

"I did, yes. I apologize, Sam. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," Cas says stoically and Dean laughs because he knows that's not what Sam was asking. "You're one of the nicest men I know but I just don't like you the same way I like Dean."

"Why do I feel like I'm being broken up with when we were never dating?" Sam asks and Dean laughs even harder. 

"Don't worry about it, Sam. Let's finish up and get outta here before it starts hurricaining out there."

"Hurricaining isn't even a word," Sam says. 

"Shut up and eat," Dean answers and follows his own advice with more food than any one person should be able to fit in his mouth. 

Sam looks at his brother in disgust and says, "Seriously Cas. Aim higher for your next boyfriend," he jokes. 

Castiel doesn't get the joke and answers seriously, "But I don't want a next boyfriend. I only want to be with Dean."

Sam's eyebrows shoot up again and Dean silences him with a fork stab in his direction and a stern command of, " _Eat_!"

When their plates are clean the waitress comes over to take them away. Before she does, she stops and looks at Cas. "I just wanted to apologize for the other day. I never would have flirted with your boyfriend if I knew you were together. I'm not that kinda girl," she finishes. "You guys are really cute together. I don't know how I didn't see it at first."

Sam's stomach sinks like a stone. He's so busted.

"No apology necessary," Castiel answers. "We weren't actually together yet at that point, but we are now and we are very happy. So I would appreciate it if you stuck to flirting with Sam only," Castiel finishes. 

The waitress looks over at Sam with a look of confusion on her face and Sam tries to smile as innocently as possible in return. "He's pretty cute, but he seems like trouble," she replies before she turns and walks away. 

"That was nice of her, huh, Cas?" Dean asks.

"Very kind," he agrees. 

"And I was right. I _knew_  she was flirting with me," he says triumphantly to Sam. 

"Let's get out of here before you say something stupid," Sam says back. 

Dean takes a look at Cas and says, "Good idea."

The rain has slowed down a little bit so Dean suggests that he goes to pick up the car from the restaurant last night. 

"Love really _is_ blind," Sam jokes. "I picked it up on the way back from my run. You walked right past it."

Dean squints through the slow curtain of rain and sees Sam is right. "I knew that," he says.

"Snacks?" Sam reminds him. 

"Right," and they all move to the store next to the diner to pick some stuff to snack on later. After that, they return to their hotel room. "I say we all change into sweats and be comfortable," Dean suggests. 

"Genius," Sam agrees. "I'll be right back," and he walks into his room to change. Dean drops his pants instantly and Cas lets out a small laugh. 

"There is not a shred of modesty in you, is there?"

"Get used to it," Dean says with a smile. He finds the same pants he wore the other day and throws the pair Cas was wearing at him as well. "Your turn. Let's see that ass," Dean teases. 

Castiel shakes his head as if he can't believe this is happening to him, but he complies, and just as he thinks he's going to get away with changing without embarrassment, Dean lets out a whistle when he bends over to step into the new pair. He pulls them up as quickly as possible and is tying the draw string when Dean crosses the room to come to him. 

Dean closes the distance between them and plants a couple of soft kisses to each of Cas's cheeks. "You are the cutest thing I've ever seen," he coos at him. 

"You embarrassed me," Castiel says without anger. 

"Would it embarrass you more or less to know how turned on I get seeing you wear my clothes?" 

Castiel doesn't get time to answer because Dean moves in to kiss him. The kiss starts off slow but quickly turns into more and within seconds Dean has Castiel backed up against the wall with his body pressed against his. 

Neither of them know how much time passes before they hear Sam clear his throat loudly and obviously. 

"I should have known better than to leave the two of you alone for five minutes," he jokes. 

Cas and Dean break apart. Sam sees Cas smile sheepishly at him but Dean has a look of pride on his face. 

"Not even sorry, man," Dean says. 

"Yah, got that," Sam replies. He walks towards the neatly made bed (thanks to Cas) like he's going to sit on it and then his eyes catch on the little purple bottle of Astroglide that sits on the end table beside the bed and he freezes. "You know what, why don't we go in my room?" he asks. 

"What's wrong with our room?" Dean asks. 

Sam catches Dean's eye and glances towards the bottle. "I just can't," he explains. 

"Fine. C'mon, Cas," he says and they all go over to Sam's room. 

"This works better anyway because I already have my laptop hooked up to the tv," Sam says. "What do you guys want to watch?"

"I was thinking about that," Dean begins. "What about Friends? He always misses our jokes."

Sam nods approvingly, "That's a great idea! I could watch Friends all day." 

"Could there  _be_  a better show?" Dean does his best Chandler impression and Sam laughs. Dean turns to Cas and says, "You'll get it in a few episodes." He nods towards the bed and says, "Let's pile in!" 

Dean jumps on to the middle of the bed and he is soon joined by Sam and then Cas, each on either side of him. He wraps his arm around Cas's shoulder and Cas rests his head against the crook of Dean's shoulder. 

Sam sees all of this happening and has to bite his tongue to keep from commenting. It doesn't matter how many times Dean says to just let it go, _he can't_. Dean has literally changed almost over night and he just can't get over it. He wonders if Dean would have been happier with Lisa if he had acted this loving and attentive towards her, but eventually decides probably not. Not when Cas was still on his mind, and if Dean prayed to him like he said he did, he knows he was. This is the happiest he's ever seen his brother and he wants to do another happy dance just knowing he had even the slightest bit to do with it. 

The first episode starts and before long all three of them are laughing. Dean and Sam are both pleased that Cas is catching as many jokes as he is, and neither of them are upset when they have to pause to explain something to him. They watch a few episodes and then ask Cas if he's enjoying himself and if he wants to watch more, and he says yes to both so they keep watching until lunch time. After some debate, Sam and Dean agree on ordering in a pizza for lunch, half loaded with veggies and half loaded with meat. Dean goes to grab his beer to drink with the pizza but Sam sticks with water. Dean convinces Cas to try a bite of his pizza and Sam cuts off a bite of his for him too, and Dean threatens to disown him when he says he prefers the veggie one. 

"At least you haven't ruined all food for him," Sam says with a smile. 

"I don't know why anybody would want to _ruin_ a perfectly good pizza with vegetables. Rabbit food," Dean complains. 

"I enjoyed it," Castiel says again. 

"You're lucky I like you, Cas. If you were somebody less awesome this could be a deal breaker for me. I'm gonna have to order two pizzas for the rest of my life," Dean complains again. 

Castiel's smile could light up the room when he says, "I hope so."

Then Dean realizes what just came out of his mouth. _The rest of my life_. There's a moment of panic but then it's gone just as fast. Because Cas is going to be around him and Sam forever one way or another, so that word - forever - doesn't freak him out as much as it would otherwise. Besides, it isn't exactly a bad thought. If they could stay happy forever, wouldn’t he want that? So he answers, "Me too." 

Castiel ends up finishing an entire slice of pizza, which is quite a lot of food for him for one day considering he ate a stack of pancakes that morning. He seems to be enjoying food more, he realizes. Nothing can make him drink the beer Dean keeps offering him though. It's not what Dean usually drinks and he doesn't care for the taste at all. 

"We should run back to the store and get him some Seagrams," Dean thinks aloud. "I don't know why I didn't think of it when we were there."

"I'm okay for now," Castiel answers. "Maybe later if the rain clears up a little bit. I was thinking about those pork rinds I was fond of when I was human, too."

Dean smiles at him and says, "Already grabbed some for you when we were there."

"You did?" Castiel asks excitedly. 

"Yep. You busy were obsessing over all the different kinds of candy," he explains. 

"Maybe the sweet tooth runs in the family," Sam says as he finishes his last piece of pizza. "Remember Gabe?"

"I'm nowhere near as bad as Gabriel was," Castiel denies. 

"You guys almost ready to start the next episode?" Sam asks. 

"Yah, just gotta use the can first. I'll be right back," Dean says. He gives Cas's foot a tap on his way by and then he makes his way to the bathroom.

Cas and Sam are alone for the first time in days. 

"How're you doing, Cas?" Sam asks. 

"Very well," he says, "I'm enjoying the vacation quite a bit. Thank you for arranging all of this for us," Castiel says politely. 

"Happy to," Sam responds. But that's not what he wants to talk about. "Things are going well with Dean?"

"He makes me very happy," Castiel replies. 

"I've gotta say, I've never seen him like this with anybody else before. He never brought girls around much at all, but any time I did see him with one, he was never like this. He was always trying to act cool and ended up being somebody completely different than who he really is. You really seem to be bringing out the best of him," Sam says. 

"I don't even know what I'm doing," Castiel says in wonder. "I've never had anything even resembling a relationship before."

"Well, Dean's only ever had two so you're not that far behind," Sam laughs. "I'm sure you guys can figure it out. You seem to be working through any little blip that's come up so far."

"It's easy for me with Dean. He understands me in ways nobody else does, and he makes it very easy for me to talk to him. He's also been very attentive and complimentary. He makes me feel all warm inside," he finishes with a smile. 

Sam can't help but smile back. "Have you thought about what you’re going to do when you go back upstairs? They used to keep you pretty busy. Sometimes you'd be gone for weeks."

Castiel looks at his hands and says, "I don't know if I'm going to go back." Then he glances at the bathroom door and says, "Please don't tell Dean yet."

Sam nods. "I'll let you tell him when you're ready. Are there consequences if you don't go back?"

"Not if I... eventually... mate with Dean."

Sam knows about the angel mating process from an Enochian book he and Cas translated together in the bunker's archives. "Can a human truly mate with an angel? I've never heard of that before. Humans don't even have grace."

"Dean does. From when I had to rebuild his soul after Hell." 

Sam looks surprised. "Wow. He never said anything to me about it."

"He didn't know until earlier today. I didn't think it was doing anything to him so I didn't think it was worth mentioning."

"But you did today?"

Castiel nods and glances at the bathroom door again before he lowers his voice, "Sometimes I can feel it trying to share grace with me."

Sam's jaw almost hits the floor. "That's unbelievable! Already? He must have had deeper feelings for you than even _I_ thought he did. Did he freak out when you told him?"

"I didn't tell him that I know it means he loves me. Just that he cares about me," Castiel answers sheepishly. "I know he has a tendency to run away from his feelings and I don't want to lose him. I want him to tell me in his own time."

"I don't usually condone lying in a relationship, but I think you've made the right choice in this case," Sam says. Then because he has to ask he says, "Do you love my brother back, Cas?"

Castiel seems to look just past Sam instead of directly at him when he answers. "A part of me has loved him from the moment I saw his soul. Brighter than any other soul I've ever seen by far," he says and his face softens at the memory. "Even after everything he went through in Hell, he was _so_ bright. Holding it in my arms while I rescued him was almost more than I could bear. It was so beautiful, Sam. Like holding sunlight," he tries to explain and he sees Sam's eyes mist over. He knows how special his brother is. "I'd challenge anybody to be that close to his soul and not fall a little bit in love with him. But I'd like to talk to Dean before I say anything else." 

Just then they hear the toilet flush. "I understand, Cas. Seems like you guys are in a good place. Don't forget I'm here to talk any time you need me, okay?"

"Thank you, Sam. I won't forget. I have an excellent memory," he says seriously. 

"Were you two girls saying nice things when you were gossiping about me at least?" Dean says as a joke as he walks back into the room.

"I was actually warning him to stay as far away from that bathroom as possible," Sam says. And this time it's Dean's face that goes red. Sam feels kinda bad so says, "We're ready to watch the next one if you are?"

"I'm ready," Dean says as they all arrange themselves the way they were earlier. "The One With the Blackout," Dean reads aloud before Sam clicks the title. "This is a great one!" 

They make it through a handful of episodes before Sam's phone vibrates and he sees a message from the waitress from last night. He smiles and says, "Sorry guys, I'm bailing soon. Donna got off from work early tonight because the restaurant is dead from the rain and she asked if she could cook me dinner."

"That's okay, Sam. Dean and I understand, right Dean?"

"Pretty sure he has to ditch me another hundred times for a chick before we're even," Dean says with a smirk. "Can't really say anything."

Sam shakes his head. "Good job, Dean. Mention how many women you've slept with in front of your boyfriend. That always goes over well," Sam says sarcastically. 

"That's the beauty about Cas. He already knows all of my dirty secrets and likes me anyway," Dean says and kisses Cas on the cheek. 

Castiel looks at Sam and says, "Did you know Meg asked me to have sexual intercourse with her?"

Sam laughs and Dean scowls and says, "Okay, okay. Point proven. You win. I'll try not to talk about that kinda thing, okay?"

"I don't care that you did it, I just don't enjoy hearing about it," Castiel explains. 

"It's okay Cas, I get it," Dean says and reaches out for Cas's hand.

Sam says, "I have time for a few more episodes before I have to get ready. Let's do this."

Three episodes later Sam says it's time for him to prepare for his date and unceremoniously kicks Dean and Cas out of his room, promising to text the next morning like he did today.

And just like that Dean and Cas are left alone for the remainder of the evening to entertain each other.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"The world on the outside's trying to pull me in_  
>  but they can't touch me 'cause I got you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There is one small instance of gay slander in this chapter.

"What do you say I take you out on a real date tonight, angel?" Dean asks as they settle in their room. They immediately laid on the bed and wrapped together as closely as possible for two people with clothes on, taking advantage of being left alone for the first time in hours.

"We don't have to go out in the rain, Dean. I don't mind staying in."

"Nothin' fancy. How about dinner and a movie?"

"You want to do this?" Castiel checks.

"I do. I wanna treat you right, Cas," Dean says. "Wanna make sure nobody's gonna come along and steal you away from me," he continues with a hint of a joke in there.

"Not possible," Castiel assures him, and Dean's smile spreads wide.

"Let me check out what's playing at the movies and then we can plan our night, okay?"

Castiel is content just to lay on Dean's chest as he finds movie theatres in the area and checks to see what's playing. "There's one just a couple minutes away, but it's either Fifty Shades or Beauty and the Beast," Dean says. "And I cannot take you to see Fifty Shades on a date."

Dean is glad Sam isn't here because they both know Dean had a period of time when he was growing up that he absolutely loved Beauty and the Beast. He thought Gaston was the coolest guy ever because he actually hunted a monster just like his dad did! Plus, Belle was hot for a cartoon. And Emma Watson is even hotter and in the new movie. So what if he wants to see it?

"Isn't Beauty and the Beast a Disney cartoon?" Castiel asks mentally flipping through the knowledge Metatron gave him.

"This is the live action version. Still seems kinda lame, though."

"I like Disney movies," Castiel says earnestly. "There's always an underlying lesson to each movie and I like that. I would be very happy to see this version of Beauty and the Beast with you if you don't think it's too lame."

Dean smiles. "I actually kinda wanted to see it too, but I thought you might laugh," Dean says shyly. "I loved this movie when I was a kid."

"I'll never laugh at something you are interested in, Dean. I'll still like you even if you want to do something that isn't supposed to be 'cool'. Most likely it will end up being cool because I'm getting to do it with you in any case," Castiel says.

Dean tilts his head and says jokingly, "Aw, you're such a good boyfriend, Cas," and kisses him quickly on the lips. "I'm thinking early movie and late dinner, what do you think?"

"That sounds lovely," Cas responds.

"K, we've got 40 minutes until the movie starts. Let's get changed outta these sweats and get outta here," Dean says as he gets himself up out of the bed. He goes to grab his bag to get his clothes and he suddenly has an idea. "You know what? Let's do this right. I'm gonna go to Sam's room and get changed, then come over here to pick you up like we're going on a proper date. Okay?" Dean asks with a broad smile on his face.

"You don't have to do that for me," Castiel says right away.

"I _want_ to. You deserve this," Dean says sweetly, and then he's gone without another thought.

Castiel wishes he had stayed just another minute or so. He doesn't know how to dress and would like to ask Dean. He doesn't think shorts are appropriate in the rain, and he doesn't like getting wet, so the only option he has for pants is Jimmy's pants. For a minute he thinks about just putting on the white shirt and trench coat, but Dean always seems so pleased to see him wearing something different that he ultimately decides against it.

After rifling through his bag a couple of times he finally decides on a short-sleeved, blue and white checkered button-up shirt left open over top of a plain black t-shirt of Dean's that he found on the floor. He thinks it might be the same shirt Dean wore yesterday, but it smells clean so he goes for it. Dean likes to see him in his clothes, so he thinks it's a good choice. He feels silly with the sandals on so he puts on Jimmy's shoes as well. He finds it amusing how he feels like he is more himself wearing Jimmy's clothing than he does in the clothes that were actually purchased for him, but it's the truth. He isn't particularly dirty but uses some grace anyways to fully clean his body so that it smells fresh again, and he also restyles his hair since it was flat at the back from laying down for so long today.

He gives himself a once-over in the mirror, remembers to use more lip chap, and decides this is as good as it gets.

He doesn't have anything else to do so he decides to start tidying up the mess that Dean always seems to leave behind. He smiles as he does it because he knows exactly what Dean was doing at every moment he put something aside and moved along, and he loves the intimacy of that.

Castiel hears a knock on his door and even knowing that it's Dean and this is just part of an act and he didn’t really come here just to pick him up, his stomach twists nervously. He thought he was going on a date once before but he didn't actually end up doing it. This will be his first real date. He's nervous, but excited. He walks over to the door and opens it with a smile that multiplies by ten when he sees Dean.

Dean stands with his hands in the pockets of the black leather jacket he's wearing. Castiel hasn't seen this jacket on Dean before and it looks perfect on him. He wears a pair of dark grey slacks but Cas can't see what he has on under the jacket.

"Hello, Dean," he greets him.

"Hey, Cas. You look smokin' hot," he says lightly to break the ice, and Cas gives him one of Dean's favourite gummy smiles. "You ready to go, angel?"

"I am," he answers and Dean places his hand on the small of his back and walks around the car to open the door for Cas to climb in the passenger seat. Cas is happy it's barely spitting outside right now, though it is still raining.

"Not often you get shot gun," Dean says as Cas climbs in. He shuts the door carefully behind Cas and goes around to get into the driver's seat.

"Thank you," Castiel says. He knows it's an old-fashioned gesture for a man to open the door for his date and he feels appreciated and humbled that Dean did that for him. As the door closes beside Dean, Castiel gets a whiff of something truly tantalizing. It seems to fill the car and a minute later he realizes Dean must have put on cologne. "You smell very good," Castiel says as he scoots over a little to get closer.

Dean shoots him a cocky smile before he backs out of the parking lot and thanks him. The minute he doesn't need both hands to drive he reaches across the seat to hold Cas's hand. "I don't even know why I packed cologne, but if you like it I'm glad I did. Is that my shirt, by the way?" he asks.

"It is. I didn't have anything plain to match my shirt. You don't mind, do you?"

"Hell no I don't mind. You always look hot in my clothes. I know it's going to be a little bit too short on you and I'm going to be trying to catch a glimpse of your skin all night long now," Dean confesses. "It's hot."

Castiel sits there with a dopey smile on his face as Dean begins to sing softly to the radio until they pull into the movie theater parking lot. "Doesn't look too busy," Dean says as he scores a close spot. "I can get your door for you," he says before Cas does it himself.

"That's okay, but I appreciate the gesture," Castiel replies as he gets out himself. No sense sitting here waiting for Dean to come around and open the door when he's perfectly capable.

Dean takes Cas's hand as soon as he walks around the car and they walk into the theater hand-in-hand. Dean takes care of getting their tickets and he chooses the snacks as well: a huge bag of popcorn, a large Coke, and a bag of candy. Castiel had no idea how expensive movies were.

Dean leads the way into the theater and he picks out seats close to the top in the middle of the aisle. There aren't many other people here, and Castiel would guess the theater is only about a quarter of the way full. They settle in with their snacks and Dean checks his phone and says the movie should be starting in five minutes.

"Perfect timing," Dean says proudly as he digs into the popcorn.

"I can't believe how big this screen is!" Castiel says completely dumbfounded by the movie screen. "How can anybody look good on a screen that big!?"

"I saw all of the Harry Potter movies. Trust me, Belle will look just fine," Dean replies.

"Oh, is she attractive?" Castiel asks.

"I wouldn't kick her out of bed," Dean says making the same joke Cas did earlier about him. Then adds, "You know, if you weren't already in my bed."

"Guess I'll know who to watch out for the first time I'm not there then," Castiel teases.

"You know, I've slept better with you the last two nights than I have in forever. I uh, used to get nightmares sometimes, ya know," he shrugs it off nervously, "but I haven't when you're with me."

"Why didn't you tell me you were having nightmares? I could have stopped them for you and you could have been sleeping peacefully always," Castiel says, concerned.

"Well, now I have an excuse for needing you to sleep with me," Dean says. "Worked out just fine, after all."

"I'll sleep with you whenever you want me to. You don't need an excuse," Castiel promises.

Just then the lights start to dim and Dean says, "Previews are starting."

Castiel is in complete awe of the movie theater. The sound and picture is such high quality, and he has never seen anything like it. He’s not even through the first preview when he leans towards Dean and whispers into his ear, “This is unbelievable!” Dean smiles at him and kisses him on the cheek since he’s so close.

Cas’s excitement only increases as the movie begins to play. Dean keeps looking over at him and every time he does Cas’s eyes are almost bulging out of his head and he is completely enthralled by what he’s watching. He’s excellent entertainment. He laughs, gasps, jumps and gives doe-eyed smiles to the screen at all the right moments.

At one point Castiel leans towards Dean again and whispers, “I can’t believe you liked Gaston! He’s a horrible person!”

“He’s still bad-ass though,” Dean says. “He’s ripped, too. He’s cool!”

“He’s a bully,” Castiel argues.

Dean can’t really argue with that, but because Cas leaned in closer again he decides to throw his arm around him to keep him there. Cas looks so happy he can’t resist touching his cheek to turn him towards himself so he can give him a soft kiss. There’s no tongue or anything, but they linger for a few seconds. They pull apart and are smiling at each other when Dean hears a muffled, “Fucking faggots,” from behind him.

Dean was expecting this to happen sooner or later and had been telling himself he wasn’t going to let it bother him, but that doesn't stop the icy feeling he gets spreading through his entire body. He thinks he would have succeeded in shrugging this off if he didn’t see Cas’s face change from excited and happy to scared and nervous in the blink of an eye. Nobody gets to make his boyfriend feel that way.

He turns around to try and see who said it, but every single pair of eyes is on the screen as if nothing happened. He looks back to Cas and rubs his thumb along his cheek bone. “Are you okay?” he asks quietly.

Castiel smiles sadly but nods. “Let’s not let it ruin our evening,” he says.

“I say we really give them something to talk about,” Dean says with his intentions written all over his face. Castiel smiles and leans in for another kiss. This time there is tongue, and teeth, and they let the kiss carry on much longer than either of them ever would have in public if they weren’t trying to prove their point. When they finally pull apart Cas is smiling again and Dean says, “That’s much better.” And they both turn back to the movie with smiles on their faces and Dean’s arm still draped on Cas’s shoulders. Thankfully they don’t hear any other rude comments for the remainder of the movie, but Dean doesn't stop being on guard for it.

They return to the car, and as they walk through the lobby they see the theater is much busier for the late show than it was for the early show. Dean insists on opening Cas’s door for him again, and soon they are both settled and back on the road.

“Have we ever taken you to a _Carrabba’s_ before?” Dean asks.

“No, the name doesn’t sound familiar.”

“That’s where I thought we’d go for dinner,” he says. “I found one a bit closer back to the hotel. It’s Italian. Nice, but not fancy.”

“I’ve never had Italian. I would be interested in trying it, though,” Castiel smiles. As if he wouldn’t agree to anything Dean has thought of.

The discussion in the car falls back to the movie as they drive to the restaurant and they talk about what each of them liked and disliked. They talk about Gaston some more, and Dean gets Cas to admit that Belle is hot. Well, attractive is all he could get out of him, but he knows what he meant. Dean holds the door of _Carrabba’s_ open for Cas and when the hostess greets them Dean says, “We have a reservation under Winchester.”

The hostess smiles and says, “I remember. Right this way,” and leads them to a private table in the far back corner.

Castiel is surprised to see the table has a short square vase full of azaleas in the center. They make him think of their day at the park yesterday and he smiles as he reaches out absentmindedly to touch the petals.

"You were right, he does seem to like them. Excellent choice," the hostess says to Dean.

"Thanks again for doing this for me," Dean answers.

Castiel can't believe what he's hearing. "You did this?"

The hostess smiles at Cas's question and decides to take her leave. She says, "Enjoy your evening. Your server will be with you in just a moment."

"I didn't have enough time to get flowers to bring to the door, so I called a place and got them delivered here. I talked to the hostess when I made our reservation and asked her to put them on the table for when we got here."

"You didn't have to do that," Castiel says in awe.

"I wanted to. I picked azaleas because I remembered how you said the park yesterday was famous for them. Thought it would be a nice reminder of our day there, ya know?"

"This is the nicest thing anybody has ever done for me," Castiel says quietly. "Thank you, Dean. I love them." Then, as the thought occurs to him, he says excitedly, "I can bring these back to the hotel?"

"Yep, they're yours," Dean smiles at him. It was worth the couple of phone calls he had to make to get this done just to see Cas's smile right now. He would do so much more to see him this happy. He feels that glowing emotion inside of him again and realizes his grace is reacting to his feelings.

"Thank you," Castiel says again with emotion. He scooches around the table so he's directly beside Dean and pulls him in for a long, tight hug.

He pulls away as he senses somebody approach the table. It's a very tall, broad-shouldered, attractive man. "Good evening. I'm Matt and I'll be your server tonight. Can I get you started with something to drink?"

"Pepsi for me and a strawberry lemonade for him," Dean says.

"Please," Castiel adds with a smile.

The waiter smiles at Cas and says he will be right back.

"You gonna sit on my lap the whole time?" Dean jokes because Cas hasn't put any distance between them yet.

"My apologies," Castiel murmurs as he begins to scoot back across the table.

Dean grabs his arm and says, "No, stay. I was just teasing. We can share this way too, 'cause you're not gonna order your own meal, right?"

"Correct," Castiel answers. "What are you going to get?"

"Lets pick together. Let me know if you see something that looks good," he says as he opens the menu for both of them. Dean immediately sees mozzarella bread he wants and tells Cas they have to get it. They move on to entrees and there are so many choices, Cas can't decide. "I really want pasta," Dean says as he opens to the section. "Anything look good to you?"

Castiel looks through the pages carefully and finds his eyes keep returning to some sort of pasta covered in white sauce. He points, "Do you like Fettuccine Carrabba?"

"Uh, yah! Just no veggies in it. You want that?" Dean makes sure.

"Yes, I'd like to try it."

Dean closes their menu. "That was easier than I expected," he says with a smile. "I thought I'd have to talk you into something."

"I was just thinking this morning that I've been enjoying food more recently," Castiel says. "I think narrowing down my flavor preferences has helped."

The server returns and gives them both their drinks and asks them if they're ready to order. Even though Dean places their order and says they're sharing, Castiel feels like he is the only one being looked at. It's strange, but maybe Matt finds Dean intimidating. He can understand if that's the case! He takes a drink from his lemonade and lets out an, "Mmmm!"

Dean shakes his head in amusement. "Strawberries and sugar. Never fails. Now I know how to bribe you," Dean jokes.

He takes a drink of his own pop when Castiel leans close and whispers, "Oral sex would work, too," and he tries not to laugh as Dean just about spits out his drink.

Dean lets out a loud laugh once he's able to and leans in to kiss Cas quick on the mouth. "When your sense of humour comes out you are really fucking funny, Cas. I had no idea," Dean laughs.

"I wasn't joking!" he says, but he is laughing.

"Believe me, I know," Dean agrees. "While we're kind of on the topic, I wanted to talk to you about something," Dean says and Castiel sees that he suddenly looks a little bit nervous.

"Don't be nervous," Castiel says. "You can talk to me about anything."

Dean clears his throat and says, "I want to talk about sex." Cas seems to pull away but only for a second, so Dean adds, "I want to talk about us having sex. Some day."

"... Alright," Castiel says, because he doesn't know what he's supposed to say.

"It's just that every time it comes up, I see you freeze up."

"It doesn't sound like a pleasant experience," Castiel says honestly.

"I know. I get it," Dean says patiently. "I feel the same way. Which is kinda why I want to talk about it." He finally shrugs off his jacket and lets it pool around his hips. Castiel notices he is wearing a forest green t-shirt with little specks of black through it. It has a deep v-neck and reminds Castiel of the blue one he has. The green in the shirt makes Dean's eyes almost glow and Castiel can't stop staring. "I was starting to get sweaty," Dean says with a laugh. "This is hard to talk about."

"It's okay. The topic caught me off-guard but we can talk about sex. We need to be able to, right?"

"That's what I was thinking," Dean agrees although neither of them seem to be able to make eye contact. "So there's no pressure here, okay? We've only been dating a few days and we have lots of time to... ya know, do stuff together. Sexually." Castiel nods to encourage him. "But you've said you didn't want me to have sex with you. And I don't want to never have sex again, Cas. I like it way too much. So I was wondering if you think... one day... you might want to do that... with me, obviously... or if it's completely off the table... forever?"

Castiel drops his head and takes a few seconds to think. It isn't hard for him to figure out what Dean wants him to say here. But can he say it? He looks up at Dean and says, "You want me to say that it's not off the table forever."

"I want you to tell me the truth. Either way, we can come up with some way to work it out, okay? I'm not giving you up over this." Dean's hand comes up to Cas's face to gently cup his chin and Cas leans into the touch.

Castiel closes his eyes for just a second and then musters the courage to ask the question that's been in his mind since the very beginning. Knowing his grace is mostly depleted now, he has to know: "Will it hurt?"

"No, angel," Dean says softly. "Of course not. I would never do anything to hurt you. We can go so slow, Cas. Usually people start small, like with a finger," and Cas sees Dean's face heat up, "and then add more when their partner is ready."

"And people find that pleasurable?"

"From everything I've heard, yes. You uh, know what your prostate is?" Dean asks.

"I know human anatomy, yes."

"Well, apparently when that's... ya know, stimulated or whatever, the pleasure is pretty intense."

"Are you just saying that to try to convince me into trying it?" Castiel asks.

Dean laughs, "No, I'm not. I've never had  _that_ happen to me before, but that's what people say. That's one of the reasons men who bottom like sex so much."

"Bottom? So you'd be the top then?" Castiel asks to make sure he's getting this. Castiel can see now that Dean's chest is heaving. He meets his eyes for the first time since they started talking about this and sees that his pupils are blown wide.

"Yes," Dean answers, and his voice is lower than it was a second ago.

"Talking about this is arousing you," Castiel comments.

Dean closes his eyes and ducks his head to try and hide the shame he's feeling. "That's not important right now."

The fact that Dean looks embarrassed and is trying to hide his arousal from Castiel is enough for him. What wouldn't he do for this man? "I want to be the only one to make you feel like that," Castiel says seriously. "I think I would like to try to let you have sex with me some day, Dean. Yes," he clarifies.

Pure lust floods Dean's entire body and he is as hard a fucking rock in his pants. Just thinking about fucking Cas's ass makes him so hot he feels like he could blow his load without being touched. He has to reign it in though because this is supposed to be a nice date, and he said no pressure, _and_ he meant it.

He leans over to seal his lips with Cas's. He means it to be sweet and soft but there's some of the desire running through him seeping through and he pulls away before he loses it. He rests his forehead on Cas's the way he likes to and says, "I'm going to make it so good for you, Cas. I swear," and he kisses him one more time.

"Is this how most of your first dates go? Talking your date into bed?" Castiel asks as a joke to lighten the mood.

"What, are you kidding? Have you ever seen me go on a date, Cas?"

"No," he responds.

"I don't date. Or didn't, I guess. Until you."

"You've never been on a date?" Cas asks in disbelief.

"Well maybe in high school I took a couple of girls out for a burger or pizza or something, but nothing like this. With me and Sam moving around so much I never took the time to date. Just picked up at the bar," he says.

"This is a first for both of us then. It'll be a nice story to tell some day, don't you think? How we talked about anal sex on our very first date?"

"One day we'll be able to scar Sam's kids for life when they're old enough," Dean says with a laugh and Cas laughs with him.

Just then the server comes with their bread. He looks directly at Cas again and asks if he needs a refill on his drink. Cas thanks him and he's gone again.

"What a dick," Dean says as he cuts into the bread.

"Who? The server?" Dean nods. "He seems to be ignoring you, doesn't he?" Castiel asks.

"I think it's more that he's focused on you, Cas. He's obviously into you," Dean says.

"That’s ridiculous. I'm clearly here with you on a date."

"First date though. I told the hostess on the phone. She probably told him. First dates don't always go well. He's probably waiting to see if he can slip you his number without me noticing." Dean takes another bite of the cheesy bread and says with a pout, "I should punch him."

Castiel lets out a small laugh. "Don't punch him. I think you're mistaken," Castiel says.

"Oh yah? How much do you want to bet he tries to give you his number before we leave?"

"I don't have any money," Castiel says. He never does. Sam and Dean pay for everything.

"I'll bet you that blow job," Dean says and Castiel laughs loudly. "If I'm right, you blow me. If I'm wrong, I'll blow you."

"Sounds like I'm winning either way," Castiel says but holds out his hand and they shake. "Deal."

Once Dean has finished the bread the server comes by to take the plate away. He returns shortly after that with the main course and Dean and Cas both hope it tastes as good as it smells.

"You first," Dean says to Cas but Cas shakes his head and insists Dean takes the first bite. Which he does, and he lets out a moan of appreciation.

"That's a familiar sound," Castiel teases.

Dean scoops up a small bite of pasta for Cas and holds the fork out for him. "You have _got_ to try this. Open up," he says as he moves the fork closer to his mouth.

Castiel opens his mouth, though he feels awkward about it. Dean holds the fork still and Castiel moves in to take the food off of it. He gets a little bit of sauce on the corner of his lip and before he can wipe it away with his napkin, Dean moves in and licks it off with the tip of his tongue, then places a kiss on top of the spot. "Tastes even better on you," he says smoothly and Castiel basks in the attention.

"It's very good," Castiel agrees. "Rich, I think the word is."

"Yup. Grab a fork and dig in or you're gonna be stuck with a chubby boyfriend. Because none of this is going to waste," Dean says enthusiastically.

"You really do eat an extraordinary amount of food," Castiel comments as he unwraps his fork from the napkin it was folded inside. He's so used to Dean eating in huge bites and talking with his mouthful he doesn't even notice it happening. "Almost none of it is healthy. I don't understand why you're in such good shape."

"Good genes," Dean says, "and running from monsters every other day. That's a work out, you know. Not all of us have angel strength."

"Still, Sam has to run each morning in order to keep his stamina. Why don't you?"

Dean smiles crookedly. "Unlike Sam, I get active and keep my stamina in the bedroom."

"Every night!?" Castiel asks.

Dean shrugs. "When we're on the road and it doesn't interfere with a case? Pretty much."

"That's an unusually high sex drive," Castiel comments.

"I'm a sexual guy. You've got your work cut out for you," Dean smiles. "We'll see if you can keep up."

"It hasn't been a problem so far," Castiel says, but now he's nervous.

Dean gives Cas's knee a bump with his own under the table. "I'm teasing you, Cas. For the first time in my life I think I'd actually be happy just cuddling some nights."

"I enjoy that too," he smiles and visibly relaxes. He finally gets himself another bite. It really is delicious.

"All that soda I drank at the theater is making me have to pee," Dean says. "I'll be right back," he continues as he scoots out of the booth.

Castiel swallows another bite, and as he goes to get a drink he is suddenly distracted by Dean's ass in those pants. He reaches for his drink without paying close enough attention and then he curses when he spills it all over the table. The server appears almost instantly and leaves to get something to clean it up with. He comes back and Castiel is apologizing profusely. "I'm such a klutz, please accept my deepest apologies. I didn't mean to inconvenience you."

"It's really not a problem at all, sir," he says as he mops up the mess with a cloth. He started at the far side of the table but is coming closer with every wipe. He ends up directly beside Castiel and then he leans across his body to reach the other side of the table. Castiel is taken aback with how the server is in his personal space. He himself is only ever that close to Dean. As the server extends his arm and leans over all the way he basically puts his ass right in Castiel's face. Castiel deliberately looks up at the ceiling and that's the scene Dean walks back to.

"What happened here?" he says, amused. Cas couldn't possibly be any more obvious about not looking at this tool's ass and it makes him laugh.

The server shoots him what Dean knows is a non-verbal 'fuck you' and backs off to crawl back around and out of the booth.

"I spilled my drink like a fool," Castiel explains.

"It happens all the time," the server says to Cas (again, ignoring Dean). "I was more than happy to help. I'll be back with another drink for you in just a moment."

Dean sits down shaking his head. "He couldn't have been more obvious. Did he slip you his number?" he asks as he digs back into his meal.

Castiel shakes his head. "No. He was in my personal space without my permission, though. It was very unsettling. I now understand why you kept asking me to give you space in the past."

"I fucking hope not," Dean says. "I kept having to tell you to back off because I kept popping boners like a teenager, Cas," he laughs.

Castiel can't believe the admission. "You were sexually attracted to me that long ago?"

"From the first time I saw you," Dean says. "Didn't admit it to myself for a long time, but it was there. Even when I didn't like you," he laughs.

"You should have told me," Castiel says.

"Nah, wouldn't have worked out. I didn't have feelings for you back then. We would have hooked up and then you would have hated me when I moved on to the next chick."

Castiel is curious now , though. "When did you know you had feelings for me?"

"First time I can remember admitting it to myself is when you were gonna go on that date that you ended up babysitting for," he laughs at the memory. "I was so close to asking you to go out with me instead, but I chickened out." Dean stuffs his face again. "I slept with a ton of chicks after that to convince myself I wasn't gay. Which worked until a few days ago," he finishes.

"I think I always felt like this," Castiel says and Dean's surprised by the admission. "I didn't know what it was for a long time, but I know what it is now and I don't feel differently from how I did before."

"And there was really nobody else you liked? All that time?"

"Nobody else. I just felt better when I was with you. Everything I did was to try to be closer to you, to try to keep you safe. And alive," he adds.

The server returns with Cas's drink and places it on a napkin this time. "Here you go," he smiles dazzlingly at him. "I gave you an extra napkin in case you have another clumsy moment and need it."

"Thank you," Castiel says politely and then he's gone again.

Dean is smiling to himself as he finishes the last few bites of his food. "Hate to say it Cas, but I don't think even I can eat dessert. Do you want something though?"

"No thank you, Dean. I have eaten quite a bit today and I’m also feeling full," he says.

"Okay, lets pay our bill and get out of here then." He just manages to catch the server's eye and motions for the check. He pays, leaving a stingy tip for the asshole waiter and not even feeling bad about it.

Then the server says, "It was my pleasure serving you. I hope to see you again soon," and he winks at Cas before he turns to leave.

"Told you," Dean says. "I can't take you anywhere. You're too good looking."

"I'm sure he was just being friendly," Castiel says, but even he isn't convinced. They stand up for Dean to get his jacket back on before they leave and Dean says, "Cas?"

"Yes Dean?"

"Check the back of your napkin."

Castiel's eyebrows pinch together in confusion but he does as Dean asks. His jaw drops when he sees a phone number scrawled on the back with, "Call me," written beside it.

Dean looks around until he finds the server not-so-subtly watching to see if Cas noticed his number and he grabs Cas by the shirt to pull him in for a long, hot kiss. Castiel goggles at him for a second before Dean says with a wiggle of his eyebrows, "Let's go back to the hotel so I can claim my prize."

Castiel scoops up his vase of azaleas and follows Dean out to the car with a smile on his face and anticipation curling in his belly.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I want to thank you_  
>  For all the things you've done..."

Dean is thinking about fucking Cas's mouth the whole drive home. Judging by the way Cas is sitting far away from him in the front seat, which reminds him of their cab ride home last night, he thinks Cas is probably thinking along the same lines. Dean can feel their thoughts charging the air between them. Thankfully, it isn't a long drive because he's honestly having a hard time concentrating.

Dean finally pulls into the parking lot of the hotel and just as he puts Baby in to park, Cas sets the vase down beside him and slides across the bench seat to climb on top of Dean. He straddles him with his back against the steering wheel and devours his mouth. Their lips slide together and Dean opens his mouth eagerly for more. He groans when he feels Cas's tongue push into his mouth and his hand finds the lever to push the seat back to give them both more room.

So many fantasies of fucking Cas on the leather seats of his Impala are running through Dean's mind and making this more erotic for him. And the way Cas is grinding on top of him lets him know how desperate Cas is for him and he lets out a low growl as the thought forms in his head. "Want you so bad, Cas," he says. "I'm so fucking hard for you right now."

Castiel feels his body absorb the words as his dick gets even harder and he lets out a whine against Dean's lips.

"You gotta move, Cas," Dean says finally between kisses. "Gotta get you in the room, okay, angel?"

Castiel nods but he isn't able to break away just yet. He gives Dean one final filthy grind of his hips and then opens the driver's seat to climb out ahead of Dean. Dean gets out right after and unlocks the hotel room door.

They have barely crossed the threshold when Castiel has Dean pushed up against the door. The last coherent thought Dean has is how quickly Cas is picking this stuff up. Then he sees Cas drop to his knees in front of him and his mind starts to go blank as Cas flips open the button of his fly, and slowly pulls down the zipper. With one fluid movement, Dean's pants and boxers are around his ankles and his dick bobs in front of Cas's face.

Castiel looks up to make eye contact as he grabs the base of Dean's dick to steady it. Dean watches as Cas's pink lips wrap around his cock before Cas swallows him right down to the root. Dean feels his legs almost give out beneath him and hisses out a, "Holy fuck, uggghhhh."

Castiel pulls all the way off to flick at the head of his penis with his tongue while his hands run up the back of Dean's thighs to find his ass. He pulls Dean towards him as he swallows him down again and buries his nose in his pubic hair.

Dean's hands come up to grab a hold of Cas's hair and he feels his moan vibrate against his cock. "You're so good, Cas. You feel so fucking good, baby."

Castiel’s entire body warms at the compliment. He wants to make Dean fall apart. He wants to do that to him. He wants him to feel as desperate and out of control as he feels. He pulls off again to look up at Dean and says, "Fuck my mouth, Dean."

"Jesus Christ," Dean manages and sees Cas flinch slightly, "Sorry," he mutters. But Cas is not holding it against him because he opens his mouth for Dean once more. Dean holds on to Cas's hair again as his hips begin to thrust up and into the roof of Cas's mouth. It's soft, but firm and warm, and feels fucking amazing, especially when Cas lifts his tongue to press against his cock from the other side every time he thrusts. It's a warm tunnel of heat and Dean is closer to coming already than he wants to be.

"You gotta slow down, Cas. Your mouth is unbelievable."

Cas shakes his head and pushes his face forward even more so that Dean can feel his cock slide down his throat again. But this time Cas tries to swallow and Dean can feel the muscles in his throat constrict around him and his vision greys for a second.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he growls and his hips are thrusting without him even thinking about it. The wet sounds coming from Cas's mouth are filthy and Dean relishes in every one of them.

Castiel pulls off again to lap up the precum on the tip of Dean's cock and his hand twists around him using the saliva smeared all over him. "Mmmm," Castiel says. "You taste so good."

Dean feels his heart skip a beat in his chest and his hips thrust forward again. Cas laps at his cock once all the way around like he's licking up a dripping ice cream cone and then without any warning takes him all the way down his throat again.

Dean can feel the heat gathering low in his stomach and can't even bring himself to try to stop it. All it takes is to feel Cas's throat constrict one more time around him and then he's flooding Cas's mouth and chanting, "Cas, Cas, Cas," as his hips finally stop moving.

Castiel groans when he tastes Dean’s come inside his mouth. He knows it's at least somewhat taboo but he absolutely loves it. There is nothing more intimately Dean than this and he wants every drop. When he feels Dean tense up he knows he's crossed the line to too sensitive and pulls away. He wipes his chin with the back of his hand to get rid of the excess saliva and semen that has gathered there and finally gets back to his feet.

Dean is slumped against the door with his pants around his ankles and his leather jacket still on. He looks absolutely wrecked but gorgeous. Castiel bends over to pull his pants up for him, then uses his angel strength to scoop him up under his legs and armpits and carries him over to the bed to let him relax, fully ignoring Dean's halfhearted protests. He's prepared to forget his own erection in favour of allowing Dean to get some rest and curls up next to him on the bed.

"That was the best fucking blow job I've ever had," he says with feeling. "Do you not have a gag reflex?"

"No, it doesn't seem like I do," Castiel realizes. And it suddenly makes sense to him why Dean never took him that far is his own mouth.

"I so hit the jack pot," Dean says to himself and he catches Cas's mouth in a kiss. He can taste himself on Cas's tongue and he’s surprised when it doesn't gross him out as much as he thought it would. Cas responds immediately to his kiss and Dean remembers Cas has been hard and untouched since they were in the car.

He sits up to remove his jacket and drops it on the floor beside them. Cas sits up too and shuffles back towards the headboard. Dean crawls towards him and this time he straddles Cas's lap. He immediately feels Cas's hardness underneath him and is shocked when a lick of desire catches in his chest already. He can't get enough of Cas. He whispers compliments against Cas's neck between open mouthed kisses and gentle nips of his teeth.

"I'm already horny for more, Cas. You make me feel so fucking good." He lifts Cas's shirt up over his head and lets his fingers brush against his nipples as Cas shudders underneath him. "You're so gorgeous. I love this body so much," he praises. His lips leave kisses on his shoulders, his arms, his chest. "You're so strong. Ugh. It turns me on, Cas." They both feel the grace start moving within Dean but Dean doesn't stop. He makes his way back to Cas's mouth and says, "Your fucking mouth." He kisses his jaw and moans, "This jaw line. Your cheeks," he kisses each of them before he makes eye contact and says, "Your eyes, Cas. I've always loved your eyes." And he leans in and gently, tenderly kisses each of his eyelids. Castiel feels wetness gather behind his eyes. The grace is so strong between them now and his heart is so full Castiel can hardly stand it.

He can feel his own grace moving to the surface of his skin and he whimpers, "Dean you have to stop. I can't hold back my grace. Please, Dean. I - I," he swallows the words really wants to say and instead says, "I want you so bad. But you have to stop talking like this. Please," he begs.

Dean can feel a hot tingling everywhere his body touches Cas's. It's the best thing he's ever felt. It's everything he loves about Cas pushed into a single sensation against his skin and he doesn't want it to stop. He feels so much love for Cas in this moment it's overwhelming. "Oh Cas," he groans softly as he nuzzles into his neck. "I lo-" and he stutters on the words before they can come out because of a bright light that's starting to come from Cas's skin.

"Dean, _please_!" Castiel begs painfully, "I can't - I can’t stop it."

Dean finally moves off of him because he feels a jab of fear. Not because of the grace, but because of what he almost said. Fuck.

"I'm sorry, angel. Let me make it feel better, okay? I can make you feel so much better," he coos as he grabs a hold of Cas's feet and slides him so that he's lying flat on the bed again. He takes off Cas's belt and works on his pants. He can push his fears aside for now, he tells himself. He needs to do this for Cas. He sees a large wet spot on Cas's boxer briefs and knows how close he is already. Cas lifts his hips so Dean can take his pants all the way off.

"Take of your shirt," Castiel says. Dean tilts his head in question and Cas explains with a blazing look in his eyes, "I love your body, too, Dean." And for some reason Dean feels like those aren't the words Cas is really saying and he feels his throat clog with emotion. He can't resist reaching up to seal his lips against Cas's one more time, and he sends everything he's feeling through the kiss. The grace is glowing inside of him again and he knows he has to back off.

Since he's up here now, he kisses and licks his way back down to Cas's swollen cock. It's glistening with precum and Dean knows this isn't going to last long.

He reaches for the Astroglide beside him and Cas says, "I really don't think that's necessary right now."

Dean laughs and says, "Trust me, okay?" as he flips the top off. And of course Cas does.

Dean's hand wraps around Cas and he bends to lick at the slit of his cock. Cas's hips come up off the bed but Dean was expecting it that time. His mouth sinks down slowly around Cas and he squirts some of the lube on to his finger. He lets his finger glide from the side of Cas's cock all the way down to his perineum. Cas's body freezes under him but Dean pulls off to soothe him. "It's okay, angel. Just my finger okay? You tell me if you want me to stop." And Cas nods nervously.

Dean leaves his finger where it is and concentrates his efforts on Cas's cock to try to make him forget about it. He spends a lot of time licking, pumping and twisting his wrist. Enough to keep Cas on the edge but not enough to push him over. Slowly, he starts rubbing his finger up and down that soft patch of skin and is rewarded with a moan from Cas this time. He takes the tip of his cock into his mouth as he lets his finger move down to trace a wet circle around the tight hole of his ass. Cas moans again and Dean's cock twitches in interest. Cas likes this, he realizes.

He finally takes as much of Cas's cock as he can into his mouth and at the same time he lets his one slicked up finger push slightly against the tight ring of muscle, and both of them moan as Cas immediately opens to let it in.

Dean bobs his head a couple of times as he lets his finger slide as far into the wet heat of Cas's ass as it will go. He lets it sit there for a second for Cas to get used to the feeling but he soon feels Cas press down on to his hand. He groans around Cas's cock as he begins to slide his finger in and out of Cas's ass as slowly as he can.

He has barely gotten started when Cas growls, "Dean," and he can feel Cas's ass clench around his finger so moves it more vigorously. He knows what's about to happen so he hollows his cheeks for one last suck and then pulls off before Cas spurts on to his stomach. Dean works him through it, pulls out his finger, and then lays beside Cas with his nose pressed against the curve of his neck.

"Is it going to be like this every time?" Castiel asks breathlessly as he makes his sticky mess disappear.

"I really fucking hope so," Dean chuckles softly and presses a soft kiss to Cas's neck. "That was amazing."

"It really was," Castiel agrees.

Dean braces his head on his hand and says, "You liked me fingering you, didn't you?"

A blush makes its way across Cas's cheeks. "Hey," Dean says softly, "you don't have to be embarrassed, Cas. I don't want you to ever be embarrassed about what you like in bed. I want you to tell me so I can make you feel good."

Castiel believes him, so he answers quietly, "Yes. I liked it. A lot." He takes a breath and confesses, "I love the taste of your semen, too, and I know I probably shouldn't." He says with shame.

"Says who?" Dean asks.

"I don't know. I just feel like I'm not supposed to. Like it's dirty."

"It _is_  dirty. You're like every dirty fantasy I've ever had rolled into one really fucking hot guy. Dirty can be good, Cas! When two people trust each other the way we do there is no such thing as 'bad dirty'."

"Dirty can be good," Castiel repeats.

"Yes," Dean answers and leans down to kiss him. "I felt your grace for a minute, Cas."

Castiel closes his eyes for a moment before he opens them again to apologize. "I'm so sorry, Dean. I never should have allowed that to happen, but my feelings got away from me. I couldn't stop it. I held on for as long as I could but..."

"Don't apologize. It was the best thing I've ever felt. It was like... you, but as a feeling instead of a person. Amazing isn't even a strong enough word. I can't describe it. But it was the best," Dean tries.

Castiel’s heart fills when he hears Dean talk about his grace that way. But he still cannot let this happen again. "I'm going to have to return to Heaven," Castiel says heavily.

"Because of me?" Dean says darkly.

"No, because of me. I need to know how to control this. Maybe another angel can help me," Castiel explains.

"What if I don't want you to control it?" Dean asks quietly.

"We've been through this. I can't possibly share my grace with good conscience unless and until we are in love. And even then, it would be with the assumption that we would some day mate. That there would be no others."

Dean lets that roll around in his mind for a minute. He only discovered a little while ago that he's in love with Cas. He isn't ready to talk about it yet. Christ, Cas would probably run for the hills, he thinks darkly. But no others? The idea of never being with another woman doesn't sit well with him. But at the same time, the thought of not being with Cas makes his entire body turn cold inside. The next thought of Cas with somebody else makes him feel sick to his stomach.

"I just need a little bit more time," Dean says quietly.

"I'm not trying to influence you to make this decision, Dean. We've only been together a few days. I just need to know how to stop this from happening."

"It doesn't feel like days," Dean says softly. "I feel more for you already than I have for anybody. It feels like we were always supposed to be together like this. Doesn't it?"

Cas's smile could light up the sky. "For me, as well. I'm... reluctant to say much more because I don't want to scare you away."

Dean shakes his head. "I'm not going anywhere."

Cas waits a beat and says, "This was quite a first date, wasn't it?"

"Best date I've ever been on," Dean agrees. "I'm glad I don't have to have the awkward conversation to try to get you leave tonight," he laughs. "I actually want you to stay and I know you're going to."

"I want to as well, but at some point once you're asleep, I'll slip away quickly to get advice about my grace."

"Which means I should let you get some clothes on," Dean says as he sits up. "I actually don't like sleeping naked either. I was so wrecked last night I just passed out," he explains. He pulls on a pair of navy sleep pants and says, "Human break," and nods towards the bathroom. "Be right back."

Cas gets Jimmy's clothes on while he waits, including the trench coat. He wants to look as much like an angel as possible when he returns to Heaven, and he knows this is what his brothers and sisters will expect when he gets there. He's laying back on the bed when Dean comes out.

Dean stops once he sees Cas. "Weird to see you in my bed back in those clothes, man," he says. "I feel like I shouldn't touch you now. You're all angel-y again."

"Don't be silly. I'm exactly the same as I was a minute ago. Come here," he says as he opens his arms to Dean.

Dean crosses the room and lays on Cas's chest the way he likes to sleep. His Cas. His angel. He lifts his head for a goodnight kiss, and then he slowly drifts off to sleep to Cas rubbing his back.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"But most for choosing me to be the one.  
>  _And it hits me when I reach for you,  
>  That I'm afraid you won't be there."__

Castiel is feeling sleepy himself, so he decides to slip off to seek help now before he falls asleep and loses his chance. Time works differently in Heaven than it does on Earth, so though he is there long enough to get the answers to his questions (as well as some answers he didn’t know he even had questions for) and restore some of his grace, he is gone just over two hours on Earth.

It’s long enough for Dean’s subconscious to realize Cas is no longer beside him, and after the first nightmare he’s had in days wakes him, Dean instantly reaches for the warmth of Cas and his heart drops when he realizes he isn’t there. Dean rolls over to check the time on his cell phone and sees it’s almost three in the morning, but he has no idea how long Cas has been gone for. He doesn’t know how long it will be until he comes back, so he rolls back over and tries to fall back asleep. It doesn’t take long for him to realize he can’t. He can’t sleep not knowing what Cas is doing. It’s definitely not because he’s gotten used to sleeping with Cas and now he can’t sleep alone. That would be stupid.  
  
With nothing to do but wait for him to come back, he replays their evening through his head. It really was a great date. He had fun. He always has fun with Cas. He realizes Cas left his flowers in the car and he gets up and out of bed. He grabs the room key and slips out the door to the Impala to get them for him. He thinks he’ll like to see them when he wakes up. He continues to think about last night when he lays back in bed and he thinks about Cas underneath him. The sex with Cas is absolutely unbelievable – and they haven’t even had sex yet. That thought brings him back to the memory of feeling Cas’s grace, and ultimately, how he feels about him.  
  
He’s in love with Castiel. An angel. His Cas.  
  
He has to take a deep breath to steady himself, because it really scares the shit out of him. The last time he let himself love somebody - even though it was never like this - Lisa and Ben were used against him. It’s not exactly the same because Cas has already been used against him more times than he can count, and for some backwards reason, that settles some of his fear. Cas isn’t some weak human, and even when he was a human, he could take care of himself. He _can_ take care of himself. That’s one less thing Dean has to worry about in letting himself feel this way about Cas. He doesn’t have to worry about stopping hunting because Cas can (and does) hunt with him. He can stay in the bunker for as long as he wants because there’s lots of space for all of them. He doesn’t have to stop being who he is to be in love with Cas, and it’s a very calming thought.  
  
He thinks again about never having sex with anybody else, and yah, that still freaks him out. He wonders if all guys feel this way when they’re considering the “Big L.” He can’t imagine that they wouldn’t. He wonders if he might feel differently once he’s actually had sex with Cas. If it’s as good as his blow jobs, why would he even want anybody else? He smiles to himself just thinking about it. And it’s not like he can’t look, right? And there’s always porn.

He allows himself to think about the sensation of soft breasts pushed against his chest and compares it to the memory of bumping chests with Cas. Muscle to muscle. Neither is better, he decides, they’re just different. Could he live the rest of his life without a pair of tits in his face? In his memory he sees Cas’s eyes blazing at him when he told him how much he loved his body, and he thinks it might be worth it. He knows without even entertaining the idea that he doesn’t want to go without those blue eyes another day if he can help it, and that pretty much answers that.   
  
He loves Cas, and he doesn’t want to be with anybody else.  
  
Suddenly he feels like he has to tell him.  
  
His stomach flips with nerves as he thinks about the best way to do it. Does he just spit it out? Or does he plan a big fancy thing and then tell him? He flips through possibilities in his mind and decides something in between is probably right. He remembers how excited Cas got about Sam’s surprise location for dinner, and decides he should surprise him. And it’s gotta be soon, because he can’t hold this inside of him now that he knows. He’s pretty sure Cas feels the same way about him. There is no way anybody could look at him like that and not love him, he thinks happily.  
  
He's using his phone to look up locations when he hears the familiar sound of wings break the silence. He turns his screen off and his heart fills to see his angel in his room again. Cas walks towards the bed and lays down for Dean to curl back up on him. _This is happiness_ , Dean thinks as he sinks into the feeling.

“What are you doing awake?” Castiel asks quietly.  
  
“I couldn’t sleep without you,” Dean hears himself say. Fuck. No denying it now.  
  
Castiel smiles and holds Dean tighter. “I’m not going anywhere for the rest of the night. Sleep, Dean,” he says softly.  
  
“Missed you,” Dean says as he snuggles in a little bit closer.  
  
Castiel kisses his temple and says, “I missed you, as well.”

Castiel feels all of the anxiousness from the last few hours melt away as he strokes Dean’s back again. Soon, he feels his eyelids close and realizes he’s about to fall asleep again. It’s a wonderful feeling, and he sinks into it without another thought.  
  
*****

Castiel knows it’s hours later before he even opens his eyes. When he does, he’s pleased to see sunlight is filling the room and the rain seems to have passed for now. Dean is stirring beside him and he places a gentle kiss on his forehead. Dean sighs happily and burrows in closer without shame. “Mornin’, Cas,” he yawns.

Castiel catches himself yawning in response to Dean and they laugh before he wishes Dean good morning back. Dean rolls over to check his phone for a message from Sam and says, “We’re on our own for breakfast this morning. I need a shower and coffee,” he says as he drags his hand down his face. “Back to the diner okay?”  
  
“That’s fine with me,” Castiel says. He nods towards the patio door and says, “Looks like we have a nice day today at least.”  
  
Dean can’t wipe the smile off of his face because he’s full of happiness. He loves Cas. He can’t wait to tell him. Of course it’s a nice day outside! How could it not be?  
  
“Get ready so we can eat when I’m done, okay, angel?”  
  
Castiel gets up to dig through his stuff and pulls out a sleeveless yellow shirt with a small pocket on the chest. He remembers Dean telling Sam only douchebags wear these tops, but he doesn’t think Dean will say that to him. It matches his yellow, blue and white striped shorts. Sam said to wear these together, so he does. He’s ready much sooner than Dean so he sits at the table and waits for him. Like yesterday, Dean comes out wearing only a towel and Castiel feels no shame in taking the chance to look at his body.  
  
“Enjoying the view?” Dean teases as he picks out his clothes.

“Very much,” Castiel answers. “This is definitely a perk to sharing a room with you.”  
  
“Get used to it,” Dean replies. “I’m hoping you’ll stay with me in my room in the bunker once we get back home. Well, actually, we can probably move to a bigger room. But I want you with me, if you wanna be.” He pulls on his boxers.  
  
“I want to be,” Castiel says instantly.  
  
“When you’re not busy doing something else, of course,” Dean adds. Castiel decides to let that one go so he can talk to him about it when neither of them are half naked.  
  
“Of course,” he responds. He watches as Dean pulls out a pair of navy blue shorts and a white shirt with blue pinstripes through it.  
  
Dean steps into his shorts as he looks back at Cas and says, “Your arms look amazing in that shirt, by the way.”  
  
“I don’t look like a douchebag?” Castiel checks.  
  
“Nah,” Dean laughs as he gently pulls his head through his shirt. “Sammy didn’t either. But I have to make fun of him anyway. It’s my job!”  
  
He walks over the mirror to give himself the once-over and Castiel says for him, “You look good, Dean. As usual,” he smiles.

Dean turns to face Cas and finds himself lingering on a sweet kiss. “Let’s go before I change my mind,” he says with a laugh, and he grabs Cas by the arm and pulls him out of the room to walk across the street back to the diner.  
  
Jen greets them again as they walk through the door and as they slide into a booth, Dean calls to her, “Don’t you ever have a day off?”  
  
She laughs as she brings them over two cups of coffee, “You’re not sick of me already, are you?”  
  
Castiel laughs and answers for Dean, “No, you’re our favourite waitress here, as long as you don’t flirt with my boyfriend,” he jokes.  
  
“Or mine,” Dean adds.  
  
She laughs with them and says, “Well don’t you two just take all the fun out of it! Where’s that brother of yours, anyway?”  
  
“He, uh, made a friend while we were here,” Dean answers.  
  
“Gotchya,” she replies. “I’ll give y’all a minute to pick and be back to take your orders.”  
  
"You know, if you liked those pancakes yesterday I bet you'd like waffles," Dean says after half a cup of coffee has hit his system. "They're even sweeter." Castiel now associates sweetness with deliciousness so Dean has his full attention. "And you can get strawberry sauce and whipped cream on them instead of syrup, if you want." Dean points to the picture in the menu and Castiel is definitely interested.  
  
"Yes, please!" he says as he adds his sixth spoonful of sugar into his cup of coffee and takes a drink. _Perfect_ , he thinks.  
  
"I think I'm gonna get the same," Dean says.  
  
As if Jen hears them, she comes right over and takes their orders. Finally, Dean has a minute to really talk to Cas.  
  
"So what did you learn in Heaven last night?" Dean asks.  
  
"Many things," Castiel answers honestly. "Unfortunately, there is nothing more I can do to hold back my grace. It's directly connected to the way we feel, so unless our feelings toward one another lessen..."  
  
"It'll just keep trying?"  
  
"I'm afraid so," Castiel says and Dean is saddened by the look of disappointment on his face.  
  
"It'll be okay, Cas. I wasn't taking it seriously before. But I can now. I won't let it happen again," Dean promises.  
  
Castiel’s stomach feels like it's turning. He wants so badly to just tell Dean how he feels so that he can stop hiding it, but even Sam seemed to agree he shouldn't say anything yet.  
  
"Are you all mojo-ed up again now?" Dean asks.

"You could say that," Castiel supplies.  
  
"Awesome," Dean says with feeling. "Anything else happening up there?"  
  
"Nothing else we need to discuss now," Castiel answers.  
  
"Okay, cool. I think I'm gonna get my berries on the side. I'll be right back," he says as he slides out of the booth to find Jen.  
  
Castiel follows him across the restaurant with his eyes and slowly loses himself in thought. He doesn't like to hide things from Dean, but he's afraid if he tells him the truth about his grace that he will react rashly.  
  
The truth is, every time his grace reaches for a mate and it isn't returned, a piece of it dissolves. Forever. Castiel is a powerful seraph so a little less grace won't hurt him. But it can't go on like this forever. It also explains why he has been feeling tired and hungry. Every little bit of grace Castiel loses makes him more human. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but Dean would hate to change Castiel in any way, and Castiel doesn't want Dean to react impulsively just to save him. When he shares his grace with Dean for the first time he wants it to be real and completely without inhibitions.  
  
The other thing he didn't tell Dean is that he requested to be stationed on Earth for the remainder of Dean's life. He explained how he has fallen in love with a human and wishes to mate with him, and almost every angel in the garrison was thrilled for him. He was granted permission, but needs to report to Heaven weekly until he can prove that he's mated. Then he's free to stay with Dean for as long as Dean wants him. A weight of responsibility is lifted from his shoulders. For the first time in his existence, Castiel is free to make his own choices and live his own life. As long as Dean loves him back. And as unbelievable as it seems, he's fairly confident he does.  
  
Dean returns to the table with Jen on his heels as she delivers their breakfast. The first bite into his waffles is almost a religious experience - and that's coming from an angel. He lets out a deep moan and Dean's eyes widen across the table.  
  
He clears his throat and jokes, "Do you and your waffles need a minute alone?"  
  
"Don't worry, Dean. As delicious as these are, I still prefer the taste of your semen."  
  
Dean lets out a snort and drops his head for a second in exasperation before he says, "Dude, you can't say shit like that in a restaurant!"  
  
Castiel thinks about and shrugs. "That makes sense, actually. I should have known that. My apologies."  
  
"I love how I just never know what's going to come out of your mouth," Dean says happily.  
  
Around a mouthful of waffle Dean says he got a text from Sam and he needs a ride. "He's about twenty minutes away. I'll go pick him up after this." He swallows. "Would you mind staying at the hotel while I do?"  
  
"You don't want me to come with you?" Castiel asks. This is new.  
  
"You know I do," Dean says and he reaches across the table to cover Cas's hand. "It's just that I haven't seen much of Sam and I thought it'd be a good chance for us to talk, ya know?"  
  
Castiel nods. "I understand," he says. "Of course, I don't want to interfere with your relationship with your brother. I know neither of you are used to me being around so often, so please ask for space when you need it."  
  
"I don't need space. No space from you has been working just fine for me so far," he smiles. "I just want to check in on Sam."  
  
"I'll continue watching Friends while you're gone. You've already seen these episodes before, correct?"

"That's a great idea! When we get back we can hit the beach again. I need more sun before we're banished back to the bunker," Dean jokes.  
  
They finish their breakfast and pay for their meal, and then Cas is kissing Dean goodbye up against the Impala. "There's something about this car for you isn't there?" Dean asks.

"Everything about it is very _you_. The smell, the feel, the music, even the sound of the engine. All of it screams Dean to me. You can understand why I love it so much," Castiel says. They both hear Cas say 'love' and freeze, and then both pointedly ignore it as Dean climbs into the car. He rolls down the window for one more kiss and then he's pulling away in the car.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Maybe I am in too deep..."_

Five minutes later Dean pulls into the parking lot of a strip mall and he sees Sam waiting for him out front like he asked.  
  
"Heyya Sammy, thanks for coming," Dean says as he claps him on the back.  
  
"What's going on Dean?" Sam asks.  
  
"Well... turns out I'm in love with Cas."  
  
Sam leans closer like he didn't hear him correctly and says, "You’re  _what_?”  
  
"I love him, okay? I've probably been half-way in love with him for years. And now I'm all the way there," he looks at Sam's face and then adds, "Go on. Get it out of your system. Laugh and make fun of me or whatever. Just do it quick because we have shit to do."  
  
He's surprised when Sam grabs him and hugs him tight. "What're you doin’?” he asks against Sam's shoulder.  
  
"I'm... _so_ happy for you, Dean. I didn't know if I'd ever see you fall in love. This is amazing!" Sam's happiness is contagious and Dean can feel a big smile break out on his face. "How bad are you freaking out?" he grins.   
  
"Only thing bugging me is thinking about no more titties," Dean says with a small laugh.  
  
"We could always bring Cas to a strip club," Sam suggests and Dean bursts out laughing.  
  
"Yah, why didn't I think of that?" Dean jokes.  
  
"So what are we doing here?" Sam asks as Dean starts walking into the mall.  
  
"I talked to that waitress at the diner, Jen? I asked her if there's any good places to watch the sunset around here. I thought it'd be nice to tell Cas while we watch," he says shyly and like he's expecting Sam to laugh.  
  
"That's really sweet, Dean," Sam says encouragingly.  
  
"I forgot what a chick you are," Dean laughs.  
  
"Says the guy who wants to tell his boyfriend he loves him while watching the sun set," Sam says.  
  
"Anyway," Dean says loudly, "she said there's a small patio on top of the diner. They use it when it's busy but all the furniture and everything is put away now so it's just empty. She said she'd leave the gate on the stairs unlocked so I could take Cas up there tonight." He pauses to hold one finger up. "Do not laugh. But I thought we could get like, candles and blankets and shit. To make it nice."  
  
Sam gapes at him. "You're serious."  
  
"Yes I'm serious! You think I snuck away like this for nothing? Come on. Help me find the dollar store in this place," he says as he keeps walking.  
  
They find it and start gathering stuff. "How many candles do I need?" Dean asks Sam.  
  
"Why are you asking me? I have no idea!"  
  
"Like five?"  
  
Sam frowns. "More like 20."  
  
"See? _That's_ why!" Dean says as he starts piling the tea lights in Sam's arms. He grabs a fleece blanket, a lighter, and looks back at Sam. "Is there anything else I'm missing? Think!"  
  
"I think this is good, Dean. Don't want to over do it, ya know?"  
  
"Yah I get it. This isn't too much, though right?"  
  
"I think Cas will love it. He seems sappy," Sam says.  
  
"I think so too." Dean pays for his stuff and then they go to the diner to set it all up. All Dean has to do when he gets there with Cas later is light the candles.  
  
"This is good," Dean says to himself as he sees the view and the candles set up.  
  
"Very good," Sam agrees. "I gotta say, I didn't know you had this in you.”  
  
"I didn't. Now I do," he shrugs. "I want to make him happy, Sam."  
  
Sam rests a hand on his shoulder for a second and says, "I felt the same way about Jess. I did all this kinda stuff for her, too," he smiles wistfully. "Happiest I've ever been."  
  
Dean considers for a moment how he'd feel to lose Cas now that he feels like this and really appreciates what Sam went through after losing Jess for the first time. "I wish I had known her better," he says.  
  
"Me too," Sam answers. "You would've loved her. Just like I love Cas," he says. "He's good for you. I think you're good for each other."  
  
Dean smiles and says, "Let's get outta here before we grow vaginas." And Sam bursts out laughing.  
  
"Cas might not mind," Sam jokes.  
  
Dean thinks about Cas sucking his cock dry and says, "I reeeeally think he would." And laughs again at his own thoughts. "By the way, Donna's house was a 20 minute drive one way if Cas asks."  
  
"Sure thing, Dean," he says. They drive across the street and both enter their respective rooms with plans for Sam to change and then come on over.  
  
Dean finds Cas laying with his head at the foot of the bed with his face propped up on his hands. He has a big smile on his face like he's been laughing but when he looks up to see Dean his whole face changes and Dean would swear this is what love looks like.  
  
"How's Sam?" Castiel asks.  
  
"He's good! Says he's having a good time. And I'm having a good time -"  
  
"And I'm having a good time," Cas adds.  
  
"So we're all good," Dean says as he sits beside Cas. Cas sits up to kiss him hello. "How's Friends?"  
  
"Very funny. This is the one where Chandler accidentally sees Rachel's breasts," Castiel explains.  
  
"Lucky bastard," Dean says with feeling and Cas elbows him. "Sorry Cas. I like breasts," Dean says, but he doesn't sound sorry at all.  
  
"What's not to like?" Castiel agrees and Dean is shocked.  
  
"What! You, too?"  
  
"You think I don't appreciate the female body just because I'm in - I'm attracted to you?" he finishes.  
  
"You never really said anything, how was I supposed to know?"   
  
"Even I know it's physically impossible for me to have had sex with April if I wasn't somewhat attracted to her. Breasts included," Castiel adds.  
  
"Do you uh, care that I don't have any? Wait, that sounded stupid. I mean, assuming we stay together for a while, won't you miss that? What if you never get to touch another really nice rack?" Dean asks.  
  
Castiel is confused but can tell Dean has been thinking about this. "I would rather have what we have between us than a pair of breasts, Dean. It's not even a question for me."  
  
When Cas puts it like that it makes perfect sense. Of course he wouldn't give up what he has here for a pair of tits. He can't believe he didn't see it like this earlier. He kisses Cas slow and sweet and says, "Thanks. I didn't know I needed to have that conversation with you, but apparently I did."  
  
"Was that something you were thinking about?" Castiel asks.  
  
"Kinda. I dunno. I feel like this is getting serious between us. I was thinking about never being with anybody else and it kinda freaked me out."  
  
"Do you want to be with somebody else?" Castiel asks, concerned.  
  
"No, of course not. It's just the idea of _never_ that has be freaked out."  
  
"I didn't realize you freak out about things that might never happen,” Castiel says. "Are you always like this?"  
  
Dean thinks. Cas is right again. Now that he's in love, maybe he won't ever want to be with anybody else. Maybe it isn't about choosing. Maybe it's that there won't ever be a choice because Cas will be all he wants.  
  
"No," Dean says easily. "You're good for me, ya know?"  
  
"I am?" Castiel is feeling kind of lost. This has been a confusing conversation for him.  
  
"You are. You just put two of my biggest doubts about us to rest in less than five minutes." He kisses Cas again and ends with a big smile on his face. "Thanks, angel."  
  
Castiel doesn't know what he did, exactly, but he's happy if Dean's happy. "Anytime."  
  
"Want to hit the beach or wait for this episode to be over?"  
  
"It really just started. So we can watch it again later," Castiel offers.  
  
"Sam should only be a minute," Dean says. Just then there's a knock on the adjoining door. "Or he's ready now," Dean laughs. He goes to open the door for his brother and Sam comes in the room.  
  
"Hey Cas," Sam greets him warmly.  
  
"Hello, Sam. Did you have a good time with Donna?"  
  
"It was nice, thanks. You guys ready to hit the beach?"  
  
"Let's go!" Dean says excitedly.  
  
They walk out to the same spot they have been using all week and all drop their stuff and take off their shirts. "Race you in," Dean says to Sam.  
  
"Cas?"  
  
"I'll be the judge," he offers.  
  
Dean smirks and Sam catches it. "And you can't say Dean wins just because you're dating him!"  
  
"Of course not. That would be cheating," Castiel says honestly.  
  
"What if I bribe you with what we bet yesterday?" Dean winks at Cas.  
  
Castiel lifts his eyebrows in a very Dean-like gesture and Sam says, "No way. Cas is an honest enough angel that he won’t let bribing get to him. Right, Cas?"

"I can't say I'm not tempted," Castiel says with a meaningful look at Dean, "but you have my word. No lying." He walks over to where the water meets the sand and raises his voice to say, "On your mark, get set... GO!"  
  
Castiel honestly expected it not to be a close race at all. Like he said yesterday in the rain, Sam's legs are so much longer than Dean's he didn't think Dean even had a chance. But he underestimated just how fast Dean can run when he wants to. He's still sure if it was a race over a longer distance Sam would win easily, because regardless of what Dean says about stamina, there’s no way he could run the same distance as Sam. But right now it’s neck and neck right until Sam takes a giant leap at the end and Castiel sees him splash into the water a split second before Dean.  
  
Both boys slow down as they hit the water and Castiel makes his way towards them. He shoots a small smile at Dean and says, “Sorry, Dean. Sam’s the winner.” And Sam lets out a whoop of victory. Castiel laughs and moves closer to Dean as he explains, “You’re really much faster than I thought you would be, though. It was very close.”  
  
“Yah, yah. Like you said, Sam’s got long-ass legs. Plus he’s younger than I am,” Dean says to explain away the loss.

"Don't be a sore loser, Dean. You haven't beat me in a foot race in years. You should be used to it by now," Sam teases him.

"I have to let him have _something_ ," Dean says to Cas overly loud so Sam can hear him. "I'm a better hunter, I'm better looking, I'm stronger, funnier, I alllllways get the girls -"

"Says the guy with the boyfriend," Sam interrupts. "Guess you'll have to 'let me' have all the girls now, too, huh?" Sam jokes.

Dean smiles at Cas and Castiel thinks he understands Dean's previous comment of 'hearts in his eyes' because that's how he's being looked at now. "You can have every girl and every guy on the freaking planet," Dean responds. "I already have the best of all of them." He leans in to give Cas a smacking kiss on the lips.

"You are so whipped," Sam says dryly.

"Nah, never really been into that kinda thing," Dean answers and Sam laughs as he lays back and floats on top of the water.

Castiel is taking a look around and notices how many people are here today. "Beach is busier today," he comments. He watches a couple guys set up what looks like a net.

"Volleyball," Dean says to him. "Have you ever played?"

"No, I've never played any sports," Castiel answers. He sees the height of the net and says, "Seems like something Sam would be good at."

Sam overhears and says, "Both of us are freakishly bad at sports."

"I doubt that's true," Castiel answers. He can't imagine the Winchesters being bad at anything. He sees five players line up on one side of the now-assembled net and four players on the other side, which doesn't seem very fair.

Dean says, "Sam, it looks like they need another player. You should show Cas how terrible you are!"

Sam takes a look at the very attractive and scantily clad ladies on both teams (7 girls and only 2 guys) and doesn't think it's a bad idea. For some reason, he's always had excellent luck with girls thinking he's adorable when he can't play sports.

"Not a bad idea," he answers and then he swims his way in. Dean and Cas watch as he approaches the guys and then he takes the empty spot on the short-handed team. Cas has ended up with his back leaning against Dean's chest. Dean has his arms around his belly and rests his chin on the curve of Cas's shoulder.

They watch a couple of volleys and Sam seems to luck out at first by not having to touch the ball and it looks like he fits in with everybody else until the first time the ball comes in his direction and he just cannot seem to make contact with it. Dean starts laughing.

"I have no idea how somebody can't hit a ball that big!"

"The ball can't touch the ground, correct? That's why they're all diving and... bouncing around?" Castiel says as he watches with his head tilted to the side.

"Did you, uh, catch the brunette right across from Sam _bouncing around_?" Dean asks with an overly big smile on his face.

Castiel doesn't even have to look at him to know exactly what Dean's talking about. This particular lady is wearing two tiny triangles of fabric as a bathing suit top and all the jumping around she's doing is quite attention-grabbing. "I may have noticed her..." Castiel answers slyly. He turns to face Dean and they both start snickering.

"Dating a guy isn't so bad. We can check out girls together," Dean says.

"I feel like this should bother me," Castiel  returns.

"Nah. Didn't really bother me when that douche was hitting on you last night on our date. Well, not until he was trying to put his ass in your face and purposely trying to steal you away from me. Then I was pissed," he concedes. "Seeing you trying your best not to look at his ass when I wasn't even in the room made me feel pretty good, though."

"Why would I want to look at anybody else's ass when I can see yours whenever I want?" Castiel smiles.  
  
"It is kinda nice," Dean jokes and Cas laughs with him. "This is nice, too," he continues. "Just shooting the shit and not having anything to do. I'm gonna miss this when we go back home and go back to real life."

"Maybe things will stay calm when we return. Nothing crazy and evil out to get us outside of demons and monsters for a change. No angels or Gods or Lucifer," Castiel thinks aloud.

Dean sighs. "I dream about the day we can just be hunters again and forget all the other crap. I should talk to Sam and see if we can't just ease back into it a little bit. I dunno what it'll be like hunting with you now that there's all this between us."

"You think it will be different?"

"I think most everything's different now, don't you?" Dean answers. "I was always kinda reckless before. Didn't care what happened to me as long as Sam was safe and I was saving somebody, ya know?" He takes a step closer to Cas and winds his arms around his waist. "As long as I went out in a blaze of glory that was enough for me. Now I feel like there's a reason to be more careful."

Castiel wants to be very sure. "Because of me?"

Dean leans in to brush his lips against Cas's softly. "Because of you, yah. Because of this. I don't want to do anything to make me miss out on any of this." Dean can feel the grace begin to stir underneath his skin. He makes eye contact with Cas and knows he has to steer the conversation elsewhere. "It's gonna be weird when you have to take off all the time again," he tries. "I've gotten pretty used to having you around."

Castiel decides to give Dean part of the truth. "I asked for more time here when I was in Heaven yesterday," he says. "I only have to go back once a week for now to make sure I don't miss anything big. Unless, of course, you find you do get sick of me at home," he adds.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Dean asks.

"I don't want you to feel like I'm smothering you."

"How many times do I have to tell you? I can't get enough of you, Cas," Dean says softly. He nuzzles into a sensitive spot behind Cas's ear. Cas melts into the words and the touch.

"Sometimes I still can't believe this is real. That I have this," Castiel says quietly. "I've existed for thousands of years and never had anything close to this before."

"Well, now you do. And I'm not going anywhere. So get used to it," Dean responds.

"I hope I never do," Castiel says dreamily as his eyes drift shut. He and Dean are being rocked together gently by the waves around them and it's very soothing. "I hope you always make me feel like this is brand new and that I always get this nervous fluttering in my stomach when you look at me. I hope I can always feel your grace call to me. I hope I can always feel better when you hug me," Castiel smiles. He feels Dean's grace from inside him now but it isn't painful. It's just there... waiting for him.

Dean pulls Cas closer to him and because they're surrounded by the weightlessness of the water and he knows nobody can see, Castiel lets his legs wrap around Dean's waist and his body is held up only by his arms looped around Dean's neck. Dean presses his forehead to Cas's in what Castiel now knows is an intimate gesture on Dean's part and hears him say, "I will never forgive myself if I fuck this up."

Castiel’s heart simultaneously fills and breaks to hear Dean put that kind of pressure on himself. "There is nothing you could do to make me stop feeling like this. It'll always feel like this for me," he promises as he meets Dean's lips. This time he feels the call of the grace deep inside of him and pulls away to put some distance between them.

"Sorry." Dean tries to laugh it off. "My whole life I haven't been able to talk about my feelings and now I can't shut up about them," he jokes.

"I love talking to you about things like this. I've never done it with anybody before."

"Another thing we have in common," Dean laughs. "Good thing Sam's still having his ass kicked and he can't hear any of this." Castiel spins around just in time to see Sam make an impressive looking dive into the sand, only to completely miss the ball. Then he sees the girl closest to Sam send a sad look his way and go over to help him up and rub her hand up and down his shoulder in a comforting gesture. "He's an evil fucking genius," Dean says. "That chick is totally into him because he's _bad_ at sports. Why didn't I ever think of that?"

"I'm glad you didn't," Castiel says. "I have enough competition as it is."

"Don't you listen? You have no competition, angel."

"I didn't know you were this sweet,” Castiel comments.

"I'm really not. Only with you," he says honestly.

They see Sam walk away from the mock volley ball court, being followed closely by the bouncing brunette. Dean watches as they exchange phone numbers and has never been more proud of the little fucker. Sam stashes his phone and then he looks over to where Cas and Dean are and waves them over. Dean sees he's got a frisbee and thinks that could be fun. Definitely entertaining.

They spend about an hour being absolutely terrible at frisbee. They almost never make a direct pass to one another, and even when they do, nobody can catch the stupid thing anyway. Sam and Dean hear Cas laugh more playing with them now then they've ever heard him laugh before. All of them feel happy and now kinda tired after running after the crazy frisbee throws, so they lay on their towels on the beach for a little while to catch their breath.  
  
"Do you think we would find seashells washed up on this beach?" Castiel asks nobody in particular.

"I can almost guarantee it," Sam answers.

"I would like to collect some," Castiel says seriously. "Would either of you like to accompany me?"

"I'll go," Dean volunteers. He stands up and brushes the sand off of the back of his legs. "C'mon," he says to Cas.

Sam watches them with a smile on his face as they walk away and reach for each other's hands. He tries to tell himself he's not jealous, but he knows it isn't true. He watches them for a long time as they walk. He pulls out his cell phone to snap some pictures of their silhouettes against the water because he thinks Cas will appreciate it. Every now and then one of them bends over to pick up a shell, and they seem to have a system of deciding which ones are keepers and which ones they throw back into the ocean. He sees how other people are watching them, too and thinks he understands why. They practically glow with happiness. Who doesn't want that?

Cas and Dean have turned around and started to make their way back to Sam when Castiel bends to pick up another shell. "We already have one like that," Dean says.

"It's a different colour though, see?" Castiel says as he holds them out to compare. "They're like a pair."

Dean rolls his eyes. He's been 'talked into' almost every shell they've walked past because he can't say no to Cas when he's this excited about something. He's absolutely adorable and Dean can't resist it. "Fine," he sighs in exaggeration and Cas's eyes light up like he had no idea Dean was going to cave. Again. "How many is that?"

"Twelve," Castiel answers immediately.

"What the hell are we going to do with 12 shells?"

"I want to keep them. I think I'll put them in the vase with the azaleas,” he says with a smile. "I can't believe I have these."

"What's so exciting about them anyway?" Dean asks.

"You probably have never realized this, but other than the clothes you and Sam bought me a few days ago, the coin from Geocaching, and the flowers you bought me... these seashells are the only things that belong to me," Castiel explains happily. "I've never had my own things before. It's very exciting."

Dean's heart breaks for his boyfriend. He and Sam don't have much, but they have never had _nothing_. How did Dean never notice this about Cas before? Then a thought occurs to him. "The coin we got and the flowers I bought you were the first things that ever belonged to you?"

Cas's face lights up. "Yes, Dean. Seems fitting, doesn't it? Just when I thought you'd already given me everything, you actually gave me things," and he laughs. Almost giggles, Dean thinks fondly.

And as they keep walking towards Sam, Dean bends over to pick up every shell they see, and they keep all of them.

Because Cas is right.

He does want to give him everything.


	21. Chapter 21

They break for lunch soon after that. Sam and Dean have tacos from a taco truck on the beach, but Cas says he isn't hungry yet so he doesn't have any. The temperature really warms up and they decide to bring the frisbee into the water to play again. They all agree that it's much more fun to dive for it in the water than it is in the sand, and they even manage to complete a few passes between them.

Sam and Dean teach Cas how to float on his back, and somehow, they all end up doing handstands in the water, which eventually leads to a competition of who can stay upright the longest. Cas wins - he has excellent balance. Sam sees a little kid making a sand castle a little bit down the beach and points it out to Cas and Dean. Next thing they know, all three of them are on the shore building a truly epic sandcastle. A few arguments with the potential for Sam and Dean to get angry with each other break out, but Cas seems to be somewhat of a peace keeper between them and they manage to get through it without killing each other. Sam takes a picture of Cas and Dean on either side of the castle, and then Cas asks a passer-by to take a picture of all three of them.

All three of them are dripping with sweat from the heat and the sun now, so they run back into the ocean for one last dip and then all agree they could use a nap. Neither Dean nor Cas got a very good sleep, and Sam says he didn't sleep much either, though not for the same reason. They all retire to their rooms and it isn't long before Dean and Cas are wrapped around each other on their bed.

Dean hums contentedly. "I should not be this tired," he says, though he can't seem to keep his eyes open. "I'm used to half as much sleep as we got last night."

"I'm used to none and I'm still exhausted," Castiel answers with a yawn.

"I blame the heat," Dean says happily. Cas starts rubbing Dean's back and before either of them realize it, they're asleep.

They wake almost two hours later and spend even more time lost in each other between lingering kisses, soft touches, and low whispers. Eventually they hear a pounding on the adjoining door and Dean tumbles out of bed to open it.

"Did you guys seriously just wake up?" Sam asks at the sight of his brother.

"We've been awake a little while, just weren't ready to get out of bed," Dean answers.

"So I was looking for places to eat dinner tonight and this Mini Golf place popped up. It's called Pirate Cove," he says to Dean in particular.

"Pirates?  _Cool_!" Dean says enthusiastically.

"And it's nothing fancy, but there's a TGI Friday's next to it."

"I'm in!" Dean says. "You wanna play mini golf, Cas?"

Castiel shrugs his shoulders. "Whatever you want is fine," he answers. "I don't have to change again, do I?"

"Nah, this is fine for mini golf and TGI Friday's," Dean says. "Let's go!"

Castiel finally rolls off of the bed and gives a stretch. "Maybe we should stop for iced coffee on the way," Dean offers.

Castiel smiles happily, "That would be wonderful, thank you."

They all get into the Impala and Sam doesn't ask why Dean has to adjust his seat. He sees the way Dean's eyes catch Cas's in the mirror and the blush that flares across Cas's face and thinks he really doesn't want to know. But Cas is so easy to tease he just has to ask, "I don't need to disinfect my seat before I get too comfortable, do I?"

Dean chuckles softly and says, "We made it into the room for the main event, don't worry."

Dean pulls into the first Dunkin Donuts they come to, and orders all three of them Frozen Caramel Coolattas. It's not usually what Sam and Dean would get, but he knows Cas will like it because of how sweet it is, and it just makes his life easier to order three of the same.

"This is very good," he hears Cas say and Dean's genuinely disappointed he misses the way he knows Cas's face is lit up right now. The sugar going straight to his brain, he thinks with a laugh.

"Either I'm having really good luck picking what I think you'll like, or you're starting to like more stuff," Dean says.

"I think it's a combination of both," Castiel says before he takes another drink. He's the only one who has finished his drink when they pull into Pirate's Cove twenty minutes later.

"Wow!" Cas exclaims as he takes in the pirate ship.

"Pretty neat, huh?" Sam asks with a smile. They go pay and select their putters. Dean shakes his head with affection when Cas, of course, picks the bright pink putter and golf ball. He picks green and Sam picks red.

Dean lets Sam go first, then himself, and then Cas so that he can watch how they do it. Sam sinks his first ball in three strokes, Dean gets it in the same, and then it's Cas's turn. He holds the putter the same way Sam and Dean do, but he hits the ball much too softly at first. He puts more strength into it and it bounces off the course entirely. Sam chases after it for him and when he turns to bring it back, he isn't surprised in the least to see Dean standing behind Cas with his arms wrapped around him trying to show him how to hit it.

"If that isn't the most clichéd thing I've ever seen," Sam jokes.

"It's a cliché for a reason, Sam," Dean shoots back. He sticks his tongue out at his brother and then pretends to hump Cas from behind.

Even Sam can't help but laugh at the ridiculously juvenile act. "Okay Casanova," he starts and Dean snorts out a laugh, "Let's see you try it now." It still isn't great, but Cas keeps the ball on the course and it only takes him four strokes to sink his first ball. "Much better!" Sam says.

"Good job, Cas," Dean compliments him.

"It took me twice the amount of tries as both of you," Castiel says grumpily.

"But you've never done this before!" Sam says. "You can't be good at everything right away."

"You'll just have to figure it out like the rest of us lowly humans," Dean teases him. It's only two holes later when Cas beats both Sam and Dean for the first time, and he continues to beat them consistently after that. Cas has a cocky smile on his face that Dean doesn't think he's ever seen before, and he really likes it.

At the next hole where Sam is setting up his ball Dean wraps his arms around Cas from behind and kisses his neck. "Why is it hot that you're so good at mini golf?" he whispers as he sucks a small mark beside the collar of Cas's shirt.

"You think everything I do is hot," Castiel jokes, but he covers Dean's hands with his own and leans back against him slightly. "This is fun," he says.

"I'm hungry though," Dean comments.

"Do you need me to hose you two down or can you separate long enough for Dean to take his shot?" Sam calls to them and they both realize he's finished his turn.

"Yah, yah. I'm coming, hold your horses," Dean says back and makes sure to turn to kiss Cas just once before he does go take his shot. Cas's smile has gone from cocky to sweet, and they both notice.

Some time later when they are finished all the holes, Sam tallies up the score and announces that Castiel is the winner, Dean takes second place, and then pouts as he says he was the loser. "I don't think you're a loser, Sam," Castiel says kindly.

"I do," Dean says with a smile.

"Shut up, Dean," Sam laughs. He checks his phone and realizes what time it is. "It's getting late. We better go eat before... ya know," he says to Dean.

"Before what?" Cas asks.

"Before Sammy shuts his cake hole,” Dean says harshly, but then adds, “It’s no big deal. I just have a surprise planned for you later," Dean says and is rewarded with a truly huge smile on Cas's face.

"You planned a surprise for me?" he clarifies.

"Yep, but it's time sensitive so we better go," he says as he pulls Cas with him towards the restaurant a block down from mini golf. Sam follows beside them happily. This has been another good day, he thinks.

He feels the same way a little while later when they're piling back into the Impala to return to the hotel. They're all full from a delicious dinner and every one of them has a smile on their face from all of the laughter. The sun is just beginning to set when they get back to their rooms. Sam shoots Dean a silent good luck with a thumbs up and then Cas and Dean are alone.

"Do I need to change my clothes for this surprise of mine?" Castiel asks.

"Nope."

"Do I need to bring anything?"

"Nope."

"Can I do anything to help?"

"Nope." Dean is smiling now because Cas has been badgering him with questions trying to find out what his surprise is pretty much from the minute they it slip. "Ya know, for somebody who says he likes surprises you're sure doing a good job of trying to ruin it," he says still smiling.

"It's very exciting!" Castiel replies. "Can we go now?"

"Sure, lets go, angel," Dean says. He takes Cas's hand and leads him outside. Cas starts walking towards the Impala but Dean stops him. "We can walk," he says.

As they walk towards the diner Castiel frowns. "Diner food isn't much of a surprise," he pouts and Dean laughs as they walk around to the back of the building. "What’s up there?" Castiel asks as he sees the stairs leading up.

"Stay here." Dean says. "Give me two minutes and I'll be right back to get you. And no peeking," he says with a wag of his finger. "Promise?"

Cas seems to deflate when he reluctantly answers, "Fine. I promise. But hurry!"

Dean walks up the stairs shaking his head fondly at his boyfriend. He takes the lighter from his pocket and starts lighting all the candles. His stomach is in knots. He doesn't know the last time he was this nervous. As much as he’s never admitted it to himself, everything he has ever wanted – somebody who loves him for who he really is – is riding on this, and Dean knows Cas could take one look at him post love confession and fly away and never come back.

 _Or_ , a voice in his head says (a voice that sounds a hell of a lot like his brother, actually), _you could actually have everything you ever wanted_. And it's that thought that makes him take a deep breath to calm down. He checks out his work and thinks again how much Cas is going to love this. The sun is just about to touch the line of the water, and he thinks, _It's now or never_. He snaps a picture of the view to show Sam later and then he walks down the stairs to collect the man that he loves.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"But I don't care!"_

Dean's heart fills as he sees Cas standing exactly the same way he was when he left a few minutes ago. He doubts he even moved a muscle. "Okay, angel. I'm ready for you." He takes him by the hand and leads him up the stairs.

He doesn't turn around to see Cas's reaction because he doesn't want to put too much pressure on Cas. Instead he hears the gasp of surprise come from Cas's mouth and waits for Cas to approach him. It's probably only seconds, though it feels like days, when he feels Cas's hand on his shoulder.

He turns towards him to see Cas standing in front of him with eyes brimming with tears and his favourite gummy smile on his face. "This is beautiful, Dean. Thank you." He says it so sincerely and with so much feeling Dean feels his own eyes water a bit before he blinks it away.

"Thought it'd be nice to watch the sunset," he says in a voice rough with emotion.

"I'd like that," Castiel smiles at him. "Here?" he asks as he sees the blankets piled up in the centre of all the candles.

"If you want," Dean says.

Castiel pulls him down and they settle in with Dean bracing himself on his hands behind him with Castiel laying between his legs with his back to Dean's chest. Castiel rests the back of his head on Dean's shoulder and Dean immediately presses soft kisses all down the side of his face and on to his neck. Castiel hums with pleasure and has to fight to keep his eyes open so that he doesn't miss the brilliant colours of the sun setting in front of them.

"This is perfect," Castiel breathes a little while later. The sky is lit up with more colours than either of them could name and stars are beginning to twinkle above them.

" _You're_ perfect," Dean answers. And he feels the moment spread out in front of him. "I know it's only been four days, Cas, but we've known each other for so long that it feels like longer," he begins.

"I agree," Castiel says.

"They've been the best four days of my life because of you. I'm not all that good with the words, ya know," and he laughs lightly. "But I want you to know this stuff. I want you to know that right now, in this moment with you, I’m completely  _happy_. Maybe for the first time in my entire life."

"Dean," Castiel whispers softly. Because he can feel the grace. So strong. He knows Dean can feel it, too.

Dean pushes him gently so that Cas is sitting up on his own now. Dean sits cross-legged directly across from him and takes Cas's hand between his own. Dean looks him straight in the eye and says it: "I'm in love with you, Cas." Dean watches Cas's face as his eyes widen the tiniest little bit and then fill with tears again. He thinks that's probably good. "I love you," he says again with a smile. He wants to keep saying it now that it's finally out. "I love you so much it even hurts a little. I really hope it doesn't freak you out, angel, because I don't know if it's ever going to go away."

Castiel smiles so big his face hurts. He knew Dean loved him already, but he had no idea just how good it would feel to hear the words. "It doesn't freak me out," he says softly. "I love you, too, Dean."

And that's all Dean needs to hear before he launches himself at Cas. He's somehow in his lap before he realizes he's moved and he's kissing him breathless. "I love you, Cas," he says one more time between kisses.

"I love you, Dean," Cas breathes his against his lips.

And then they both gasp as they feel grace surge between them. It's that tingling feeling inside of Dean again and this time it's so, so warm. He can see Cas's eyes begin to glow that bright blue and he knows his own skin is beginning to glow the same way.

Castiel groans and says, "Dean - Dean, can I... can I please share this with you?" he asks. "Please let me share my grace with you."

And even knowing the meaning behind the question and what he's really agreeing to ( _"When I share my grace it is with the assumption that we will someday mate. That there will be no others."_ ), Dean easily whispers, "Yes." And it's the last thing he says before his life changes forever.

Castiel groans long and deep with the anticipation of finally being able to let go of his grace. "I don't think a human and an angel have ever done this before, so let's go slow, okay?" Castiel says and Dean nods. "Give me your hand."

Dean holds out his hand palm up and Cas slowly takes it with one of his hands. They're both already breathing heavily when a bright blue light begins to glow between their hands. It feels like power, and joy, and love, and a humming electricity that fills Dean from head to toe, even though only their hands are touching.

Cas's voice has dropped deeper than Dean has ever heard it when he says, "What does it feel like for you?"

Dean swallows several times before he can answer, "Unbelievable." He holds out his other hand and slowly places it in Cas's. Cas brings his other hand up and now they're clasping both hands together and it's twice the sensation. "More," Dean whispers and Cas sighs as he pulls Dean in for a kiss.

Their lips meeting for the first time with grace openly between them creates an actual spark of bright light. It startles them both but it feels so incredibly good they don't stop. Every time they touch each other the humming starts up again, and finally when they're completely pressed together Cas breaks away and lets out a cry of ecstasy. Dean can immediately see why and his heart almost stops.

The grace is now in a soft, glowing layer that seems to flow on top of Cas's skin.

"Cas?" Dean asks nervously. He can see his own skin glowing slightly in a softer blue and he's starting to freak out.

Castiel has tears in his eyes and a smile on his face when he says, "This is my grace, Dean. It wants to share with you. You have to let yours out."

Dean clears his throat and asks, "How?"

Castiel doesn't have words for the answer, so instead he starts talking, hoping Dean will open for him instinctively. "You bringing me up here to tell me that you love me is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I knew I loved you the first time I held your soul in my arms, but I never dreamed I'd come to love you like this." He smiles as he feels his grace vibrate between them. "You make me feel so many things I've never felt before. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. I want to love you like this every day for the rest of my existence," Castiel declares. He can see Dean's grace moving closer to the surface and as Dean glances down at it, fear is visible all over his face. 

"Look at me," Castiel says patiently. "Don't look at the grace."

Dean nods before he looks up and says, "You look... _beautiful_."

"I have felt more in the last four days than I have felt in the thousands of years of my existence. All because of you. You've changed me in so many ways and I will never be able to thank you for it. I love you so very, very much.”

And those words are what does it for Dean. He lets out a sharp yelp of pleasure and Castiel can see his grace move along Dean's skin the same way his is.

"Cas," Dean groans. "I need you. Tell me what to do," Dean begs.

"Touch me," Castiel responds and Dean moves instantly. He places his hand on Cas's face and it's literally like touching what love feels like. He watches as he sees the soft blue grace move from his hand to flow on to Cas's face, and Cas's electric blue grace moves back up his hand on to him. The two colours are running over each other every place they can, but they don't mix. They stay as two separate colours and two separate masses. Dean knows without asking that these emotions he's feeling are everything Cas feels for him and everything he feels for Cas sharing between them on a continuous loop and it's overwhelming in the best possible way.

"Cas," Dean chokes out and now it's his eyes that are full of tears.

"It's okay, Dean. Breathe for me," Castiel says calmly and Dean takes a deep breath. That's a little bit better. "Are you okay?"

"It's... it's _so much_ ," Dean tries to explain.

"It's our love for one another," Castiel explains in awe.

"You love me _this much_?" Dean asks in disbelief.

"I didn't know you felt so strongly about me either. What did I ever do to deserve you? Your love is so pure, Dean. You have no idea how special you are," he tries to explain. "I feel..." but there are no words.

"I know," Dean says anyway. He rubs his thumb across Cas's cheek bone and moves in to kiss him. He feels the sexual chemistry that's usually between them heat up quickly and realizes that as pleasurable as the grace is, it isn't sexual. Only emotional. Until now, anyway. It's like the last thread holding Cas together breaks with that one kiss.

Castiel backs away breathing heavily. "I want you,” he growls. "I want you so badly, Dean. Right now. Please," he begs. He looks down at the blankets and thinks that will do just fine but Dean disagrees.

"Not here, angel. Let's go back to the room, okay?"

The words are barely out of his mouth before Cas touches two fingers to his forehead and then they're back in their room.

"You _flew me_ here?" Dean asks in surprise. But he doesn't get an answer and instead he's instantly pressed under Cas's very muscular body on their bed.

"I can't wait. I need you," Castiel says again. He pulls his own shirt over his head and Dean's mouth is running along his still glowing chest the second his skin is exposed. He latches on to a nipple and Castiel throws his head back with pleasure. His hands start lifting Dean's shirt over his head and once it's no longer between them he lifts Dean's upper body and drags him further up the bed. This time it's his mouth that's devouring every inch of Dean's skin he can find. He whispers endearments the whole time. Praising him. Loving him.

"Ohhh I love you," Castiel hears Dean moan and his hands move gently touching everywhere on Cas's body. "I love you, I love you, I love you," he chants softly with each caress.

Castiel moves his body up to kiss him with everything he has. Their lips slide against each other before their mouths open and then they're lost in the familiar taste of each other. Castiel pulls away and traces the line of Dean's jaw up to his ear and whispers, "I love you Dean Winchester."

"Love you," Dean answers mindlessly. He's lost in the sensation of the grace combined with Cas's lips on his body. "My angel," he murmurs.

"I want to be yours," Castiel says as he catches Dean's mouth again. Harder this time. Their teeth catch on each other's lips and Castiel sucks gently on Dean's tongue. Dean's hips come up off of the bed searching for friction desperately. Castiel can't wait any longer. He pulls down Dean's shorts and stands quickly to take off his own. He grabs the bottle of lube and thrusts it into Dean's hand. " _I want you_ ," he says to Dean and his eyes and the tone of his voice is telling Dean something else.

Dean swallows down his desire thickly. "You want me to... make love to you?" he tries. He's never said those words out loud and always laughed at them in the past, but there is no denying that this would not only be sex.

" _Yes_ ," Cas breathes. "Please."

"We can try, okay? I don't want to hurt you, angel."

"My grace is fully restored, Dean. You could shoot me and it wouldn't hurt. _Please_ ," he begs again.

Dean is damn sure he has never been as hard as he is right now.

He sits up and Castiel immediately takes his place laying on the bed. Dean slicks up his fingers with as much lube as he can. He strokes Cas's swollen cock slowly with the other hand and feels him come alive underneath him. He loves this about Cas. "You're so hot, Cas. Look at you practically begging me for it," Dean breathes, and he can feel precum bead at the tip of his own cock. He growls.

Castiel spreads his legs wide for Dean and Dean gets the message. He lets his slicked up hand run down to his ass and circle around the pink little hole like he did the last time. Castiel groans again and Dean actually feels Cas's cock twitch in his hand. "We are never going to make it through this," Dean laughs, but there's a part of him that genuinely worries about it, too.

"Hurry up then," Castiel urges him and Dean laughs again.

He pushes one finger past the tight ring of muscle and they both moan in unison. "Feels so good, Dean," Castiel confesses. Dean lets his finger slide in and out a few times before Castiel  demands, "More, Dean. I can take more."

Dean fumbles with nerves and desire for a split second before he adds more lube and a second finger. Cas moans even louder.

Castiel feels a very, very slight burn but it's not a bad burn. It's _delicious_. All he wants is more of this. More stretching. More of Dean. " _More_ ," he begs and Dean complies, adding a third finger and remembering to scissor them apart this time. It feels better than Castiel ever imagined.

"You're opening up for me so nice," Dean praises him. And since it's right there, he plants a soft kiss to the tip of Cas's bugling cock. The sound Cas makes is downright pornographic and Dean knows he could come listening to that alone. "So needy for me," he says.

"Yes, yes," Castiel answers. "I need you. Please, Dean, I need you inside of me."

Dean closes his eyes because he is way too close to the edge and they haven't even started yet. He wraps his fingers around himself tightly at the base of his cock and tries to think unsexy things for a minute. A thought occurs to him. "Do I need a condom?"

Cas's eyes snap open. "You can't get me pregnant," he says seriously.

Dean chuckles. "I know. But like... diseases?" he asks.

"Your body does not carry any diseases, Dean. I can tell."

"... and you?" he checks just to be really, really sure.

"Not possible," Castiel responds.

Dean has to pause for a second because going barebacked for his first time with Cas is beyond arousing. He almost never does this and he's more excited than he should be. He's trying to breathe through it when Cas almost whines, "Dean!"

Dean smiles and finally slicks his own dick up with as much lube as he can before he lines himself up with Cas's perfectly pink hole. He makes eye contact with Cas and says, "You tell me to stop if you need to." Cas nods anxiously.

Dean presses the head of his cock against Cas's tight hole and Cas spreads his legs even wider to give Dean more room. He pushes gently past that tight ring of muscle and then slowly sinks into the man he loves inch by inch. Cas opens for him like he's been doing this whole life and Dean has never felt anything more perfect. He has to hold back from plunging into him the way his body wants. He needs to go slow.

Castiel groans with more pleasure than he ever expected. Dean fills him up and it feels so good he can barely stand it. He still needs more.

"Are you okay Cas?" Dean asks.

Castiel nods vigorously. " _More_ ," he breathes. "Move, Dean."

Dean pulls out slowly until he's almost all the way out, and the sinks back in slow and smooth. He feels Cas shudder beneath him.

"Mmmmm, Dean," he moans.

"So good Cas. You feel so fucking good."

"Don't stop," Castiel begs.

Dean starts thrusting in earnest now, still slowly but harder. He feels Castiel moving with him beneath him and he's in awe of how good this feels. How good Cas feels. How natural. How right.

He loses himself in the motions for a while and then he repositions his hips to thrust into Cas at a different angle and Cas gasps loudly.

Castiel feels like an electric shock is going straight to his dick. Dean thrusts like that a second time and he realizes he must be hitting his prostate. "Like that," he gets out between clenched teeth.

"You feel so good, Cas. _Fuck_ ," he hisses as he thrusts into him again. He can hear their sweaty skin slapping together and it's so fucking erotic. "I'm close, angel. Are you with me?" He snaps his hips forward again and Castiel feels everything tighten.

"Yes. Yes, Dean. Kiss me," he begs as he sits up just enough to be able to reach him. Dean kisses him sloppily as he thrusts again.

"I love you," he whispers to Cas as he feels the heat gather in his stomach.

"I love you," Castiel responds. "Come inside of me, Dean. I want to feel you inside of me. I want to be yours," he babbles.

" _Mine_ ," Dean growls. It's one more hard thrust into Cas's prostate before he feels the world ignite around him. He feels the most powerful surge of grace he has experienced so far burst inside of him as he comes hot and fast into Cas's ass.

Castiel notices Dean's body tense above him before he feels him spurt inside of him for the first time. He feels it in his soul when Dean brands his essence with his claim, and his eyes fill with tears and surprise as the knowledge that he is Dean's forever floods his body. It's that thought that sends him crashing over the edge as he comes hard between their bodies completely untouched.

Dean lets his body fall on top of Cas's to kiss him everywhere his lips can reach as he feels Cas's muscles squeeze him through the most intense orgasm he has ever had. He's not even ashamed when he feels a single hot tear fall from the corner of his eye because this moment is _everything_ to him. This is everything he's ever wanted.

He finally slips out of Cas and Castiel winces at the sensation. But then Dean is looking down at him and Castiel sees the tear track down his cheek and his own eyes finally spill over for the first time. Dean kisses his tears away and whispers, "That was perfect, Cas. Everything I ever wanted. I love you so much, angel."

"You're everything I ever wanted," Castiel replies as Dean settles into the nook of his neck that he loves so much. "I love you as well. Always," he whispers. Castiel cleans both of them up, inside and out with his grace.

They're silent for a few minutes as they both watch the light of their grace fade bit by bit until their skin is finally back to it's normal colour again.

"That... was intense," Dean breathes.

"Are you alright?" Castiel asks as he combs his hands through Dean's hair.

"Alright? I've never been better. This was the best night of my life. I had no idea sex could be like that."

"Because of sharing our grace?" Castiel asks.

"No, Cas," Dean says softly. "Because it wasn't just sex. It was more. I sound like a chick, but fuck if I care right now. I made love with you tonight, angel, and it was the best moment of my life."

Castiel is smiling bigger than he knew he could. "I am so happy right now," he says. "Thank you for tonight. It was perfect."

"Good surprise then?" Dean asks.

"Better than I ever could have dreamed," he replies. "You'll never be able to top it," he jokes.

"We'll see about that," Dean says quietly. He sits up reluctantly and says, "Bathroom," before he paddles off naked as could be in that direction.

Castiel uses the time to pick out the sweats he's been sleeping in and slips into them, and he pulls out Dean's sleep pants from the night before for him as well. He lays back down and thinks about what happened.

He didn't know that it was possible to make a claim as a mate without fully mating, but it's obvious now that it is. He needs Dean's consent in order to mate with him, but he didn't know he could accept Dean's claim even if Dean didn't mean to make it. All he needed was to share his grace, give verbal consent, and have Dean mark him with his semen. He knew that's what they would have to do in order to mate, but he had no idea one side of the bond could mate without the other. He closes his eyes and accepts the reality of the situation. No matter what happens from this moment on, he belongs to Dean and nothing and nobody can ever break that bond.

He isn't sorry. He doesn't regret it. It's what he wanted anyway. But he didn't want to do it without Dean knowing and he feels some guilt over that. He doesn't know if he should tell him or not, but when he sees Dean walk out of the bathroom towards him and sees his face light up when he glimpses his sleep pants laid out for him on the bed, he knows he's not saying anything tonight that might wipe that smile off his face.

"Ready for bed?" Dean asks.

"Are you tired?" Cas checks.

"Not dead tired," he replies. " _Friends_?"

Cas's face lights up at the idea and they set everything up to watch a few episodes together. They never - not even once - stop touching each other. If they were affectionate before they exchanged 'I love you's' it's nothing compared to the way they are glued together now. It doesn't subside when they put the laptop away and turn out the lights for bed.

Dean is draped across Cas's chest as usual when he says for the final time that night, "G'night, Cas. I love you."

"Sleep well, Dean. I love you as well," Castiel replies. The last thought that runs through his mind before he, too, falls asleep is that he knows he'll never get tired of hearing those words from Dean for as long as he lives.


	23. Chapter 23

Because they didn't go to sleep overly late, they wake relatively early for vacation. The first thing Castiel is aware of before he even opens his eyes is the bond he can feel tethering himself to Dean. It makes him smile until he remembers how it happened. He feels Dean brush kisses against his neck before he pushes up on his arms to properly kiss him good morning.

"You must have slept well?" Castiel asks Dean.

"You slept again, didn't you?" Dean asks surprised. "I didn't think you would after your grace was all topped up."

"I asked when I was visiting my family yesterday and it's as I suspected, I am able to eat and sleep if I choose to, but it isn't necessary for me to survive like it is for a human. I never really tried before, like most angels don't, so I wasn't aware."

"Gabe used to eat. Chocolate bars," Dean remembers.  
  
"He spent a lot of time with humans while he was hiding from the angels," Castiel says. "It isn't surprising he picked up some of your habits."  
  
"Hm," Dean grunts. "I need a shower or some coffee. Maybe both," he decides. "Wanna check on Sam and see if he wants to come to the diner for breakfast?"  
  
"I will do that," Cas tells him. They begin their morning routine. Dean showers, Castiel gets dressed and cleans up after the night before while he waits for Dean. He thinks while he's cleaning and decides he can't hide what happened last night from Dean. He doesn't want to hide something like this from him.  
  
When Dean comes out of the shower without even a towel this time, Castiel is sitting at the table waiting for him. He lets him get dressed and then when he asks if he's ready to go Castiel says, "Almost. I need to tell you something first."  
  
"Is this like a 'sit down' kinda something or a small something?" Dean asks.  
  
"A sit down something," Castiel says sadly.  
  
"Crap," Dean mutters as he sits. "Did I hurt you last night? Are you regretting it?" he says immediately.  
  
"No, nothing like that. Last night was perfect," Castiel says. "Do you remember when we first discussed my grace and you asked if the grace could bond without us knowing?"  
  
"Yes," Dean says slowly. He doesn't think he likes where this is going. "Did that happen?"  
  
"Partially," Castiel says softly. "I'm so sorry, Dean. I didn't know this was possible. It must be different for angels and humans, or maybe it's different because your grace was originally mine? I don't know. All I know for sure is that we completed half of the mating ritual last night without either of us knowing until it was done."  
  
Dean feels his insides run cold. He wasn't ready for this yet, and now it's done and he doesn't even get a fucking say. "Explain more," he says coldly. He really wants to just bail and get the fuck away from this entire conversation but he knows he needs to let Cas try and talk him through this.  
  
Castiel flinches when he hears the coldness in Dean's voice. He hasn't spoken to him like that in a very long time. It hurts to hear it again. He swallows and says, "The mating ritual has several components. First, both participants have to declare their love for one another. As I told you, they also need to give verbal consent to allow the bond to be made. They need to mark each other - because we are both males that means we'd need to inseminate each other - like you did to me last night. And they need to share their grace."  
  
"But you never... ya know... 'marked me' like _that_ ," Dean says.  
  
"You're right, I haven't. And that's why I couldn't make you my mate, but you made me yours."  
  
" _What_?" Dean exclaims. "I did not!"  
  
"Please don't panic," Castiel tries to soothe him. "I know you didn't do it on purpose. I didn't either." He makes sure Dean is looking at him again before he says, "I didn't know it could be completed half way, I swear to you." Dean nods reluctantly. "I don't know if it counted as consent when I was saying yes or because I said I wanted to be yours, but one of them must have done it. All of the other requirements were met as well. Without either of us thinking about it -"  
  
" - and without one of us even knowing what the fuck they were!" Dean interrupts him. "How was I supposed to know not to do what I did if I didn't know the consequences?" he spits at Cas. "This angel shit is stupid!"  
  
Castiel tries not to take it personally but can feel a flare of anger inside. "I understand you're upset, Dean, and I'm sorry. You have to believe I never would have allowed even half of the bond to be made without your knowledge."  
  
"What does half of a bond even mean?" he asks, still obviously upset.  
  
"It doesn't mean anything for you. Nothing that has happened so far will affect you in any way," he promises.  
  
"What does it mean for you then?"  
  
"It means I'm mated with you. I'm yours. Only yours, forever. I will never find true happiness or love with anybody except for you for the entirety of my existence," and despite the unhappiness Dean is currently displaying, Castiel can't help but smile because he's finally Dean's mate.  
  
"So no pressure for me then, right?" Dean says darkly as he pushes to his feet and starts pacing the hotel room. "Why the fuck are you smiling?"  
  
Castiel shrinks away from Dean's language and chooses his words carefully. "I wish this hadn't happened without you meaning it to, but you have to understand that I am not upset about this."  
  
"How can you not be?" Dean asks. "You're stuck with me for the rest of my life whether you want to be or not!"  
  
"But I _do_ want to be," Castiel answers. "That's the only silver lining here," he says gently. "This is exactly what I would have chosen if I had a choice. I'll never love anybody else the way that I love you, Dean. I know that. It doesn't matter if you decide to leave me right now," Castiel turns his head away from Dean as his voice breaks, "and I will understand if you do," he continues and is able to look back at Dean to finish, "but it still doesn't matter because I will _never_ stop loving you."  
  
Dean seems to soften some at those words but Cas keeps talking. "Even if this didn't happen - if I wasn't bound to you - does any part of you think there's a scenario that exists where I abandon you? Where I am not there when you need me? Did you really think you would live out the rest of your life without me watching over you, whether you wanted me to or not?" Castiel feels more anger as these words come out of him. How could Dean not already know this?  
  
Dean shakes his head, "No," he answers truthfully. "I guess I know you'd be watching me no matter what," Dean concedes.  
  
"That's all this is. You're not _stuck with me_ ," Castiel says bitterly. "I can leave. I can watch over you from anywhere, and there's not a place that exists that can make me stop loving you. But I don't have to be here if it's too much for you. You told me once that if you were through with me you would let me know," he says. "So just say the word and I can leave. But no matter how mean you are to me, or how many times you swear at me, or even if you never want to touch me again... _nothing_ you can say will make me stop loving you - and it's not just because of the bond I managed to ruin," he finishes as his voice cracks. He buries his face in his hands and braces himself on the table.  
  
Castiel is filled with so many emotions he can't continue talking. He's angry that Dean is reacting this way even though it isn't his fault. He's hurt that Dean's voice sounds so cold. He's pissed off that Dean hasn't touched him even once since he said any of this, and he's scared out of his mind that Dean's going to ask him to leave. He has waited thousands of years to find a mate and now that he finally has, he somehow managed to screw it up already.  
  
Dean's hardly ever seen Cas like this. Cas is scared. And he's pretty sure he's doing what Dean usually does and is lashing out in anger instead of letting himself feel just how scared he really is. Dean really wishes he wouldn't. How is he supposed to stay mad at the fact that Cas did this to him without asking when Cas looks like he's about to fall apart in front of him? He can't just stand here and not try to fix this.  
  
Dean says the thing he thinks Cas needs to hear the most first. "I don't want you to leave," he says, and it still comes out colder than he meant it to. He takes a deep breath to calm himself down. He's used to using anger, not ignoring it. He believes that Cas didn't mean to do this. Cas would never do anything that would hurt him on purpose. He walks towards Cas and deliberately softens his voice when he says, "I'm not done with you. I still love you." Cas doesn't even move. He might not have even heard him, Dean realizes.  
  
He drops to his knees beside Cas's chair and pulls the chair so that it's facing him. He pushes his way in between Cas's knees and pulls his hands away from his face. Cas is squinting his eyes closed like he can't even look at Dean and now Dean's scared that he fucked this up. He carefully puts a hand on Cas's face and says, "Cas? Look at me, angel."  
  
Castiel leans into the touch automatically and reluctantly opens his eyes. He lets out a sigh of relief when he sees _his_ Dean looking back at him, not the cold, unforgiving Dean he was afraid to see. "I love you," Dean says again. "Tell me I didn't push you away and fuck this up."  
  
"Y- _you_?" Castiel stammers. His breath is catching in his throat not unlike a sob, except he has no tears right now. "I let you m-mate with me without you kn-knowing!" Castiel stammers.  
  
He's breaking Dean's heart. He has never seen him like this in all the years they've known each other. Dean gathers him in and holds him as close to his body as he possibly can. He runs his hand through the back of Cas's hair and shushes him gently. "It's okay," he says softly and he can feel Cas relax slightly in his arms. "It was an accident," he finishes.  
  
Castiel pushes him away slightly so that he's able to see Dean's face. "You believe me?" he asks.  
  
Dean places his hands on Cas's face again and though there are no tears, his thumbs brush lightly first against his cheek bones, then under his eyes, then between his eye brows, on his chin, his jaw... trying to brush away this weary, broken version of Cas he can't stand to look at. "Of course I believe you," he says finally. "I reacted like a dick because it freaked me out. 'The entirety of my existence' is a lot to grasp for a human," he explains.  
  
"I'm sorry," Castiel apologizes. "I didn't even know if I should tell you because I was afraid you'd react exactly like you did." He closes his eyes to try and blink away the memory of Dean's cold, hard face. "We've fought before - we've physically fought before, even - but it's different now. You have only spoken to me with love and tenderness for days, and I forgot how much it hurts to hear you be so cold."  
  
"Lisa always said that when we fought, too," Dean says grumpily. "I'm not going to push you away like I did her, okay? I won't lose you. You need to tell me when I'm being a dick."  
  
Castiel snorts and gives a half smile that starts to put Dean's heart back together. "You were being a dick," he says. "I was confessing my love for you to try and help you understand, and you swatted me away like a fly." He looks at Dean in the eyes and says, "You hurt my feelings."  
  
Dean's heart sinks. "God, I'm so sorry, angel," he says and he pulls him right off the chair to gather him in his lap. He wraps his arms around him and places chaste kisses everywhere he can reach. "I'm so sorry. I don't ever want to hurt you like that again," he says and he's finally able to reach Cas's mouth for a quick peck on the lips. "I probably will," he laughs sadly, "but I swear it's the last thing I want. It tears me up. I just... I love you, Cas. I'm sorry, okay?"  
  
And finally - _finally_ \- Cas kisses him back.  
  
Castiel never breaks the kiss as he repositions himself so that he's straddling Dean's lap instead of sitting on it like a child. This kiss is slow but needy. It's all the fear they both felt thinking this was over, that they were done. Castiel doesn't understand the reason for it, but his body has come alive and he is suddenly hard and throbbing for Dean. The need between them crosses the line into desperation and then Dean is pushing Castiel back on to the floor. He lays on top of him and Castiel feels Dean's hard cock push against his own and he knows he's not alone in feeling like this. He growls madly. He needs Dean. He needs him to fill him up and make him his again.  
  
Almost at the same time they reach for each other's shorts and push them down. Dean pulls his all the way off and then does the same for Cas. Dean is confused for a split second when he feels a rush of air between them before he finds the lube in his hand.  
  
"I love your mojo," Dean breathes as he slicks up his hand. He doesn't even touch Cas's hardness before he's slipping one finger into his heat. Cas presses his body down to fuck himself on Dean's finger and then Dean adds the second finger to scissor Cas open for him.  
  
He's barely even begun when Castiel says, "Now, Dean. Please, I'm ready."  
  
If Cas wasn't an angel Dean would never move this quickly, but he believes he can't hurt him, so it's with a groan that he slicks up his dick and lines himself up.  
  
Then he's sinking slowly into Cas and Cas's moan of pleasure is enough to let him know it wasn't too fast for him. He slides in and out gently at first and feels Cas open for him again. It's so _hot_ feeling Cas's body accept him like this. He doesn't mean to, but his hips snap forward quick and hard and he hears Cas growl, " _More_!"  
  
He knows he isn't at the right angle for Cas, but can't change it much because the floor is so unforgiving. He pushes up Cas's shirt past his stomach and grasps Cas's rock hard cock in his hand. Cas thrusts forward into the friction with another sound of pleasure, and soon Dean has his hand pumping Cas at the same time he fucks into his ass.  
  
Dean is pounding into Cas now, and their skin is making wet slapping sounds against each other. It feels so good. So raw. Dean is chasing the burning feeling in his stomach as if he'll die without it and doesn't have a single other thought in his head except to give pleasure and be pleasured.  
  
It's Cas who eventually comes first as a brutal twist of Dean's wrist sends him flying over the edge as he calls out Dean's name. Dean feels Cas's hot cum spurt over his hand as his ass clenches around his dick. He feels his own orgasm slam into him and then he's spilling into Cas with a cry. He rides out his own pleasure and then feels his body give out as he falls on to his angel.  
  
He hears the blood rush back into his head and suddenly he's aware that he just fucked hard into the ass of a guy who has only ever had sex once. He might have hurt him. He didn't even check.  
  
He pushes him on to his arms and says, "God, Cas. I just... lost control. I didn't mean to be so rough. Are you okay?"  
  
"Mmmm," Castiel moans.  
  
"Cas?" Dean checks again.  
  
"Yes, Dean. I'm okay. I'm excellent, in fact. I believe that I like that you lost control," he smiles slyly.  
  
"Are we okay?" Dean asks a minute later.  
  
"I love you," Cas answers and it sounds like a question.  
  
"And I love you," Dean replies.  
  
"Do you forgive me?" Castiel asks quietly.  
  
Dean plants a kiss on Cas's neck and says, "There's nothing to forgive. It wasn't on purpose. And you're happy, right?"  
  
"More than happy," Castiel breathes. "I'm honoured to belong to you."  
  
Dean lets the words sink in. _Cas belongs to him_. He feels a smile work it's way across his face and ultimately says, "Good."  
  
"Good?" Cas echoes.  
  
"Now that I'm not as freaked out about it... it's kinda nice. Hot even. You're mine. Nobody else has ever had you the way I have and nobody else ever will."  
  
"Never," Castiel breathes.  
  
"Don't judge me," Dean begins. "But I kinda wish other people could see it, you know? Take one look at you and know that you're mine."  
  
"Angels can," Castiel says.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes, Dean. Other angles will sense someone has claimed me as their mate. They'll also sense the bond isn't complete, but I doubt any angel would ever want me in this state anyway," Castiel explains.  
  
"If only humans could tell, I could have you all to myself," Dean jokes.  
  
"Isn't that why humans exchange wedding rings? That's similar to a claim, isn't it?"  
  
Dean thinks it over, "Yah, I guess you're right."  
  
"I would wear a ring if you wanted me to," Castiel offers quietly.  
  
Dean feels a mixture of excitement and nerves flip in his belly. "I think you have to wait for me to ask you that, Cas."  
  
Castiel smiles. "Oh. My apologies."

Dean sits up and looks down Cas. He's laid flat on his back on the hotel floor with his face flushed, hair everywhere, shirt pushed up to his arm pits, wetness leaking down the inside of his legs, and cum stuck to his stomach.  
  
"You look like a some sort of porn star," Dean praises Cas. "You look so thoroughly fucked and so satisfied. Unbelievably hot," he says. Cas blushes. "I can guarantee you this image will be burned into my mind for-fucking-ever," Dean chuckles. He looks down at himself to see cum smeared on his own shirt. "Are you going to make me shower and change my clothes again?"  
  
"Of course not," Castiel laughs. And with a whoosh of sound they're both perfectly clean again.  
  
"Thanks angel," Dean smiles. He grabs a hold of his hand and pulls him up so that they're both back on their feet. They put their shorts back on and then Dean pulls Cas in for a tight, fierce hug.  
  
"I know telling me this stuff couldn't have been easy for you. Thank you for not lying to me," he says sincerely.  
  
"Thank you for still loving me," Castiel replies.  
  
This time it's Dean who replies, "Always." And Castiel can almost feel his heart fill.  
  
"You're probably starving," Castiel says.  
  
"Don't need coffee now though," he laughs. "Did you text Sam?"  
  
"No, I wanted to wait until after we talked."  
  
"Good call. It's almost ten, he should be up." He walks over to the door and pounds on it until Sam opens it.  
  
"Breakfast?" Dean asks.  
  
"Finally!" Sam responds. "Morning Cas," Sam says politely.  
  
"Good morning, Sam," Cas smiles.

"I'm starving, let's go," Dean says.

As they walk out of their room Dean reaches for Cas's hand and Castiel  smiles because he knows all is well again.


	24. Chapter 24

The boys settle into their usual booth at the diner and are pleased to see Jen working again. Her face breaks into a big smile when she sees them walk in and she comes over immediately with their three mugs and coffee.

"Soooo?" she says anxiously. "I was thinking about you two all night! How did the big reveal go?”

"Yah, I've been wondering too," Sam adds.

Castiel looks between the two of them and Dean and says, "They both helped?"

Dean laughs and says, "You didn't think I could pull something like that off on my own, did you? Besides, how'd you think I got up to the patio?"

"I assumed you picked the lock like usual," Castiel says and Dean and Sam both try not to react.

"I knew you boys were trouble," Jen says with a laugh and Cas seems to understand what he said wrong. His face floods with colour and Dean pulls him in with an arm around his shoulders.

"Of course he loves me back," Dean says proudly. "Like he even had a chance," he teases.

"Really, Dean?" Sam asks in mock disapproval.

"He's right. I love him and I loved the gesture. Thank you both very much for whatever parts you played in it. It was easily the happiest moment of my life," he finishes earnestly and looks at Dean with the 'heart eyes' Dean mentioned before.

Jen places a hand to her heart and says, "Ugh. Y'all are seriously the cutest thing," and she walks away to let them check out their menus.

Sam does a terrible impersonation of the waitress by repeating what she just said in her accent, then laughs at his own joke. "If you guys ever want to introduce a third party I think she might be game," he jokes.

Sam's startled when Cas and Dean both answer, "No!" vehemently and at the same time. They look at each other and smile.

"Wow, my brother refusing a threesome," Sam says as he shakes his head in disbelief. He doesn't see it coming when Jen comes up behind him and whacks him in the back of the head with a menu.

"I heard that!" she hisses at him as she keeps on walking by and Dean laughs so hard he has to rest his head on the table. Cas tries to hold it in out of politeness but he eventually breaks and starts laughing as well.

"It was a joke!" Sam calls after her.

Dean manages to say, "She is so spitting in your food," and then laughs again. By the time he's calmed down Sam has chosen his food and he's waiting on Dean to do the same. Jen comes back to take their orders and makes sure to sass Sam at every chance she gets. She walks away after a wink to Dean and Cas which lets them know she's only teasing Sam.

"What's the plan for today?" Castiel asks Sam.

"I actually have a surprise of my own planned," Sam says. "Nothing romantic like Dean's surprise," Sam teases, "but I think we'll all have a lot of fun. You'll probably want to change into jeans."

"I don't have jeans," Castiel says.

"You can wear some of mine. I got some belts," Dean offers.

Jen comes with their food and everything is delicious as usual. Castiel holds back his moan over his waffles this time but exchanges a look with Dean and they both know they're thinking of the same thing and share a secret smile.

By the time they've all but scraped their plates clean, Sam checks his phone and says, "Okay, we've only got 15 minutes until our ride gets here. We better get outta here so we can change. Jeans and t-shirts," he orders.

They rush to their rooms and Dean picks out an old pair of jeans and a _Boston_ tee he knows is a little long on him for Cas and finds him a belt as well. He throws on his own jeans, and a _Guns N Roses_ shirt for himself and then catches a glimpse of Cas totally dressed in his clothes with messy hair from changing shirt and groans in appreciation. "Maybe we should just stay here," he tries as he pulls Cas towards him by his hips for a kiss.

Castiel smiles at him. "Every time," he mutters as he shakes his head at his boyfriend and tries to put some distance between them.

"You look hot in my clothes!" Dean insists.

Dean hears a pounding on the outside door and then Sam calls, "Ride's here!"

"I don't get why we can't take Baby. No car is as cool as her," Dean pouts. Until he opens the door and sees a small bus with _BEER BUS_ written on it. "A beer bus?” he says excitedly looking at his brother.

"Four hour tour. Three breweries. A pint at each one, and two free beer each on the bus," Sam says gleefully.

"You can drink in the bus?" Dean asks.

"Yup," Sam smiles. "Come on, our tour guide is waiting for us."

First Sam climbs on, followed by Cas and then Dean. Dean and Cas are both surprised to see that their tour guide is none other than their waitress (and the girl Sam has been spending time with while here) from Margaritaville.

"Donna, right?" Castiel asks. She nods. "It's nice to see you again," he says kindly.

"You, too," she replies.

"Donna's been doing this for six years. She only works at the restaurant on the side," Sam explains. "She scored us some tickets, but if anybody asks, we've had them for months," he laughs. "This is a super popular tour and it usually sells out way in advance."

"Let's start you boys off with your first beer since our first stop is a little ways from here," Donna says. "I've got an English-Style Porter, a Pale Ale, Red Ale, a Hoppy Wheat Ale, and a Blueberry Wheat Ale," she says. "Take your pick."

"Blueberry, please," Castiel says instantly and Dean and Sam smile at him while Donna brings him one.

"Red for me," Dean says and she brings it to him as well. "Thanks," he says.

"What do you recommend?" Sam asks Donna.

She tosses him a can of Pale Ale (he miraculously catches it) and says, "Try this."

They each pop the tops of their cans and Dean holds his can up for everybody to see before he says, "To drinking beer on a bus!" And they all laugh at his child-like enthusiasm and cheers each other before they take their first drinks.

"I like this very much," Castiel says. "Would you like to try?" He asks Dean.

"No thanks, angel. No offence, but beer just should not taste like fruit."

Cas shrugs. "Works for me," he says with a smile to Donna.

"We find a lot of people who don't necessarily enjoy the taste of beer appreciate the hint of blueberry. We go through a ton of it during Bachelorette Parties," she adds.

Dean whispers to Cas, "She's basically calling you a chick."

"Technically I'm genderless, so that doesn't really bother me," he whispers back.

Dean raises his eyebrows, leans in even closer and whispers, "You don't _feel_ genderless when I'm trying not to choke on your cock."

Cas snickers at the dirty talk. Since Dean is right there he nips playfully at his jaw before Dean turns to meet his lips for a quick kiss.

"Didn't I tell you they were disgusting?" Sam says to Donna.

She smiles and says, "You did, but I didn't think it'd be this bad right off the bat," she teases.

"Oh you ain't seen nothing yet, sugar," Dean teases and sends her a wink. She giggles and then immediately goes to busy herself with something as both Cas and Sam scowl slightly.

"Still got it," Dean says to himself.

"If Cas doesn't kill you, I might," Sam says quietly.

"Don't worry, Sam, I doubt Donna has no gag reflex like me," Castiel says confidently.

Dean's jaw totally drops in shock and he turns to look at his brother only to see the exact same look on his face and they both burst out laughing and can't stop for a long, long time.

Donna returns to ask what's so funny and before Cas can answer her both Dean and Sam are waving their arms frantically to stop him and Dean actually places his hand over his mouth. "Do not repeat that," he repeats with an attempt at seriousness and Sam smiles in an assuring way towards Donna.

"I don't even want to know," she sighs. Sam gets up to change seats to sit closer to her so he can try and smooth this over and Dean braces his forehead on Cas's shoulder fighting back a smile, still trying to get himself completely together.

"Dude. You can't talk about sucking my dick in front of other people," he says with a laugh. _There's something I never thought I'd say_ , Dean thinks to himself.

"You said everybody does it!" Cas says, "I don't understand why we can't discuss something everybody does."

"Okay, that's a fair question when you put it like that. It's just... private," he settles on. "Everybody does it, everybody knows everybody else does it, but nobody talks about it. Kinda like watching porn," Dean says.

Castiel nods because he gets it now. "I understand," he says positively, and drinks some more of his beer.

Sam shoots Dean a look from the front as if to say, "You got this under control?" And Dean nods the okay.

Donna takes advantage of the silence between them to begin her spiel about the Brew Bus USA tour. Dean tunes out for most of it, but he sees Dean and Cas on the edge of their seats soaking up the information like sponges. _Bunch of geeks_ , he thinks fondly as he knocks back the rest of his beer.

They arrive at the first brewery and start their tour. Dean feels slightly out of place holding his boyfriend's hand in a place mostly full of burly-looking men, but pushes it aside as he mentally prepares for the rude comments he knows are probably going to come by the end of the day. They escape the first brewery without incident after enjoying their pints and make it back to the bus to drive to the next.

"Is everything alright?" Castiel asks Dean. "You seem nervous."

"I agree," Sam says. "I noticed too. Everything okay?"

Dean shrugs. "No big deal. Just on edge a little waitin' for some dick to say something about me 'n Cas."

"You don't need to worry about that," Castiel says seriously. "I don't care what anybody says, I told you that at the movie."

"What happened at the movie?" Sam asks concerned.

"Somebody called us..." and then Dean shakes his head because he can't even say it.

"... faggots," Castiel finishes quietly and covers Dean's hand with his.

"Seriously!?" Sam says disgusted. "What's wrong with people! I hope you punched his fucking lights out," Sam spits.

Castiel is surprised. Sam doesn't curse often and he definitely isn't the most violent of the two brothers. "He didn't," Castiel answers for him. "We didn't let him ruin our evening. It was our first date," Castiel smiles at Dean and Dean can't help but smile back at him. _It really was a good night_ , Dean thinks.

"Well, that's good at least. I'm still sorry somebody put you through that," Sam says slightly more calm now.

"Something I guess I'm going to have to get used to," Dean says darkly. He sees Cas frown and he kisses him on the cheek before he says, "Worth it though," with a small smile.

"I really hope that isn't true," Sam says.

"Seriously? Can you imagine what all of the other hunters are going to say when word gets out? They're not exactly pro-gay. I doubt I'll ever go on a hunt with another hunter without being made fun of for taking it up the ass – even if I don’t actually, ya know,” he finishes lamely.

Dean isn't facing Cas so he doesn't see him deflate bit by bit beside him. But Sam does, and so does Donna. They share a sad look between them and Sam tries another angle.

"Everybody's seen you around Cas for years," he starts. "Nobody's ever said anything before. And it's not like you guys were big believers in personal space even back then."

"You don't have to do anything in front of any of your friends to let them know we're together," Cas offers. "I doubt we'll be holding hands while on a hunt."

"Don't be stupid. I'd rather be made fun of by every hunter in the whole damn world than to hide you," Dean says quickly and Cas seems to perk up again. Sam makes a gagging gesture to Donna and she laughs, but she's happy to see Cas not look so sad anymore. "We'll figure it out."

Cas so badly wants to tell Dean that he loves him right now, but he doesn't know if that's socially acceptable. Instead, he decides to try something he has heard about from his brothers and sisters. He places his hand on Dean's knee beside him as he concentrates on his grace and sends a wave of love to Dean through his side of the bond. Dean wasn't expecting this - he probably didn't even know it was possible - and his eyes widen and then soften when he understands. He leans in to kiss Cas quick on the lips and mouths, "Me too."

They pull into the second brewery and Cas purposely follows Sam inside instead of Dean. He knows Dean said he doesn't want to hide it, but Cas doesn't want anybody to hurt Dean, either, and despite what Dean says it's obvious it bothers him. He can strike up a conversation with Sam easily to deter Dean from too much PDA. It works, but only for a little while. As soon as they start moving away from the entrance to begin the walking part of the tour, Dean waits for Sam to walk past him before taking Cas's hand and Cas can't help but smile.

Cas notices that the tour guide is a very attractive female and he watches Dean to see if he’s going to start flirting with her. He’s happy that Dean doesn’t seem to pay her any attention at all. When they arrive at the tasting portion of the tour Sam sits down beside where Cas was standing, who follows suit to sit down beside Dean, and from the first sip Cas finds he doesn't enjoy the taste of the beer here at all. He passes it to Dean who takes it happily. The guy on the other side of Dean gives him a nudge and a grossed-out look before he says, "You always swap spit with your buddies?"

Dean and Cas share a look and Dean says, "No, not always," and purposely turns away from the guy to discourage more conversation. The guy doesn't stop though.

He adds, "Wouldn’t be so bad if it was our tour guide though, am I right? Unless this dude's your butt buddy?"

Without knowing what else to do to not make this any worse, Dean just takes a long drink of his beer.

Cas nudges Sam with his elbow but once he has his attention he realizes he doesn't know how to communicate without words to Sam like Sam and Dean do. He looks at Dean, moves his eyes to gesture towards the guy next to him, and makes a face of disgust. Sam looks confused for a second but then he looks around Cas to see his brother turned away from the guy looking absolutely pissed and then he gets it. Sam nods at Cas and pushes out of his seat.

“What's the matter? Cat got your tongue or something, boy?” The guy continues and Dean wonders if the guy just can’t take a fucking hint or if he’s actually this stupid and wants to get his ass kicked.

Sam quickly makes his way past Cas and Dean still holding his pint of beer. He makes a show out of tripping over nothing and then the beer he was holding has spilled all over the back of the guy sitting beside Dean. The guy jumps up out of his seat and spins to face Sam as he says, "What the fuck, dude!?"

Sam holds his hands up in surrender and uses those puppy dog eyes that always get him out of trouble as he says, "Oh my God! I am so, so sorry, mister! I'm such a klutz sometimes. God, I can't even walk without spilling my beer. Totally my bad," he says again.

The guy seems to calm down and claps him on the back (maybe a little bit harder than completely necessary) and says, "No harm, no foul. It'll dry. Don't worry about it man," as he walks away from all three of them.

"Really?" Dean asks Sam quietly. "You got bionic ears or somethin'?"

"I tripped," Sam says with a smile. "I'm clumsy."

And a laugh bubbles out of Cas. Dean shoots him an appraising look before looking back at Sam and says, "You _are_ trouble, baby brother." And he clinks his glass to Sam's empty one before drinking it all down.

"Let's get the hell outta here," Dean says and they all agree to make their way back to the bus.


	25. Chapter 25

The third brewery ends up being the best by far. Not only because all three of them unanimously agree that the beer here is the best, but also because the tour guide is absolutely hilarious. He has them all in stitches - even Cas - with his commentary and Dean ends up learning some stuff about the brewing process because of the way the guide talks them through it.

After their pint they go back to the bus and Donna gives them their last free beer to drink in the bus on the way home.

"This is the most beer I have ever consumed in one day," Cas realizes as he finishes his can.

"If that's the case, I'm surprised you're not drunk yet," Donna says.

"I have a very high tolerance for alcohol," Cas replies.

"Unless it's tequila," Sam teases him.

"Still, he wasn't _drunk_ ," Dean adds. "No matter how hard I tried," he jokes. "He definitely loosened up though."

"Good thing we already picked up tequila for later then," Donna smiles at Sam.

"What's later?" Dean asks.

"Donna knows of this club -"

"Stonewall," she adds.

"Right, and don't freak out Dean, but it's kinda known for being bi-friendly."

"I'm not -"

"We know!" Sam interrupts him. "But now, especially after you had a hard time at the movies and once already today, this is a place you can go and dance and drink be as coupley as you want to be with Cas and know nobody's going to say anything."

Cas smiles at Dean encouragingly, "That sounds nice."

Dean looks at Cas, "You want to go to a club?"

"Only if you do. I don't want to go somewhere if it will make you feel uncomfortable."

"And it shouldn't make you uncomfortable, Dean. I'm going and I'm straight," Sam says.

"Same," Donna says.

Cas's face is shining with excitement. He obviously wants to go and Dean hasn't been able to say no to him so far, and this is no different.

"Alright," he concedes. "But only because I want to see Cas dance."

Sam and Donna both laugh along with Dean and Cas doesn't get the joke. "Why is that so funny? Dancing isn't hard. You just move your body to the music."

"You've danced before?" Dean asks surprised.

"Of course," Cas answers. "Dance and movement is often a part of religion. It has been since the beginning of time."

"I didn't know you were religious, Cas. You must be part of a church that accepts same sex couples?" Donna asks and Sam and Dean both hold their breath waiting for Cas to respond.

"Yes. My Father is completely indifferent to sexual orientation," he answers.

"'Religious dancing' and bar dancing is so not the same thing," Dean says to try to get away from the religion topic. "It's supposed to be sexy," he explains.

"You don't think I can be sexy?" Cas asks innocently.

Sam and Donna snicker at the corner Dean has backed himself into. Dean gives them both a dirty look and then turns back to Cas to say, "You seriously have to ask me that?" Dean jokes.

"That did seem to be what you were implying," Sam adds from the front of the bus barely hiding his smile and Dean is going to kill him later.

For now he leans close to Cas and whispers directly into his ear, "Remember how I wanted you so bad this morning I fucked you on the floor right beside the bed just because I couldn't wait the extra 30 seconds it would have taken to move you?" Cas nods. "Remember how I almost came in my pants in that damn alley? And did you notice how I come after five freaking minutes of being naked with you, Cas? I'm almost 40. I _used_ to have staying power but you're so fucking sexy I can't control it."

When Dean pulls away he can see Cas is flushed with his pupils blown wide from lust and Dean would bet the Impala that Cas is on his way to being hard right now. He raises his voice slightly and says, "Do I think you'll be a sexy dancer at the club, though? Honestly, probably not," he laughs. "You're too serious all the time. Dancing is fun!"

"I can be fun!" Cas insists.

"Don't listen to him, Cas. I'll show you how to dance when we get there," Donna says. "I'll have him eating his words within 20 minutes," she promises.

"That sounds lovely, Donna. Thank you," Cas says to her.

"You know I love you even if you can't dance, right?" Dean says only half seriously.

"Awwww!" Sam gushes. "I finally got to hear you say it to him! You loooooove him!"

"That reminds me," Dean says, "I took a picture of the final set up last night before I showed Cas. Stop being such a pain in the ass and I'll show you."

"Okay, okay. Show me," he insists as he holds out his hand for Dean's phone. Dean opens it up to the picture and then passes it over.

Sam shows Donna and she says, "Awwww! That is so romantic!"

"It was very thoughtful," Cas says.

"I don't know why Dean gets all the credit. I helped," Sam pouts.

"Sorry bro, I got thanked enthusiasticaly already and the payment is definitely non-transferable," he says with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Cas is embarrassed again and says, "I wonder if I'll ever get used to you saying things like that about me."

"I hope not," Dean says with a smile and he leans over to kiss him on the cheek. "You're adorable when you blush."

Sam remembers Cas's reaction to being called adorable the other day and wants to see if he can do it again. "So super cute," Sam adds and Cas flushes deeper. "Have you ever seen anything cuter, Donna?"

Sam over exaggerates so she catches on and she doesn't miss a beat when she says, "I've been thinking that all day. He's adorable!"

Cas looks at the ground and is as red as he ever has been when he says, "I don't know why you two keep doing this to me."

"Because we can!" Dean answers and they all laugh.

They're almost back at the hotel now and they cement their plans with Donna. She's going to drive the bus back to work, change, eat, and then meet them around 7:00 for drinks before they hit the club. She tells them it's a nice club and that they can dress up a bit if they want, kisses Sam briefly and then Sam, Dean, and Cas go into Cas and Dean's room.

"It's only just after 3:00 now," Sam realizes. "What do you guys wanna do until we have to get ready for the club?"

"We've been inside all day," Cas says. "I would like to spend some more time on the beach. Do you still have that frisbee?"

"'Course," Sam says. "Feel like a swim?" Sam says to Dean.

Cas almost never asks for anything. If Cas wants to, Dean wants to. "I'd be kicking myself in a week for turning down the beach if I did," Dean says. "We'll change and meet you out there?"

Sam leaves and the boys change. Cas just throws on the same shorts he wore to swim yesterday and Dean pulls out the red pair from their first day there (Cas remembers the red). They both decide to forget their shirts since they're just going to take them off again in a minute anyway.

"I hate changing clothes all the time," Cas says. "It'll be so much easier when we're back home and I don't have to change anymore."

"You're gonna go back to wearing that trench coat every day?" Dean asks.

"Most likely," Cas answers.

Dean doesn't say anything at first. That's not the way he prefers him to dress, but he's not about to say something that could easily influence the way Cas thinks. "I'll make sure to enjoy you in regular clothes while I can then," Dean finally decides on.

He closes the distance between them and runs his hands up Cas's chest to his shoulders, and then circles his arms around Cas's shoulders and pulls him in for a long, sweet kiss. They both sink into it, and Cas can feel Dean relax in his arms. Dean pulls back long enough to say, "I've wanted to do this all afternoon."

"It's strange," Cas starts but is interrupted by another kiss from Dean. When he's finally able to continue he says, "We were together all day but I feel like I miss you when I can't touch you or say the things I know I could say if we were alone."

"What can't you say?" Dean asks.

"That I love you," Cas says with a smile, and this time he leans forward to give Dean another short kiss. "I thought of saying it many times."

"You said it that one time without actually saying it," Dean points out. "What's that all about, anyway?"

"Mates can send feelings and thoughts through their bond," Cas answers. "You can't with me yet..." and then he stops because he realizes he said the word 'yet' as if some day Dean will agree to be his mate when Dean has never said he'd be open to that at all. "I beg your pardon," Cas says falling back to politeness automatically. "I misspoke. You can't send messages to me because you haven't agreed to be my mate. I can communicate with you through the bond though. Obviously you got the message."

"Loud and clear," Dean says. "That could come in handy hunting. Don't even have to talk to tell each other stuff."

"When a full bond is made physical contact isn't even necessary," Cas says.

"We could just talk to each other in our heads? Like angel radio?"

"Exactly," Cas answers. "Grace to grace."

"That's pretty cool," Dean says. "Tick in the 'pro' column," he finishes and Cas’s heart tumbles in his chest. "Let's go, angel."

They see Sam already waiting on the beach when they walk out their patio door. The three of them spend time together much like yesterday. They're all happy to be on the beach and in the sun again, and the afternoon passes quickly. Soon it's time for them to eat something before they get ready to go. Dean offers to go pick up McDonald's and Sam stays back at the hotel with Cas to try and help him pick clothes for tonight.

"I can wear the jeans I had on earlier," Cas offers. "Or I have Jimmy's pants."

"We're going to have to take you shopping again," Sam says.

"Dean would like that," Cas jokes and Sam raises his eyebrows but doesn't ask any questions that Cas could offer awkward answers to.

"I think I have a pair of black jeans that might fit you. They're kinda skinny at the bottom so even if they're a little bit too long you shouldn't trip on them or anything." Sam digs through his two bags (Cas wonders why he brought twice as many clothes as him and Dean but doesn't ask) until he pulls them out. "Try these," he says as he holds them out.

Cas pulls down his shorts and Sam purposely turns his back on him. "Hey Cas? Not really the social norm to drop your pants in front of other guys, man," he says with a laugh.

Cas has the jeans half way up when he stops. He has gotten so used to changing in front of Dean that he never even thought about it. "My apologies, Sam. I change in front of Dean all the time now so I never thought about it."

"Not a big deal for me. Like I said before, you're like a brother to me, I just wanted to let you know."

"I appreciate that," Cas says. He pulls the pants all the way up and buttons them. They fit better on the waist than Dean's pants do and he's pleased that he won't have to worry about a belt. They're fitted tighter to his legs than anything he has ever worn before, and even more so on his thighs. "I'm not sure if these fit correctly."

Sam spins slowly to make sure Cas is decent before he huffs out a breath. "You should definitely wear those," he says right away. "I'm totally straight and even I know those look really good on you. Now to find you a shirt," Sam says and he goes back to the bag. He snaps his fingers and says, "I know just the thing! But it's actually yours!" He walks through to Cas and Dean's room and rifles through Cas’s bag to find a plain white short-sleeved button up dress shirt. "Remember when you insisted on getting this because it was like Jimmy's but not two sizes too big and I thought you'd never wear it here? You were right, I was wrong. Hang on," he says as he walks back through to his room.

Castiel watches as he grabs a blood red tie and a black zip-up hoodie. "Wear the white shirt and this tie, but leave it really, really loose around your neck, okay? And make sure to leave a couple of buttons undone. Then put this on top like a jacket."

"A tie? Are you sure? Dean doesn't seem to like it when I wear Jimmy's clothes and they're very similar."

"Trust me. Those pants with the dress shirt and tie is definitely something Dean's going to like."

Well, Sam knows more about fashion than he does. He decides to go with it. "Okay," he smiles sweetly. "I appreciate your help. I've never been to a club before."

"Happy to help, Cas. Now help me," he says. He holds up different shirts with a black vest over top of them for Cas to help him pick and Cas says he likes the electric blue one the most and Sam agrees. He sets it aside when they hear the sound of Baby's motor pull into the parking lot. Cas goes to open the door for Dean and after divvying the greasy food, they all pile on to Cas and Dean's bed (Sam notices the lube has been put away and thinks that's gotta be thanks to Cas) to watch an episode of Friends while they eat.

It's 6:30 when they're done eating and they separate into their own rooms to shower and get dressed so their night can begin.


	26. Chapter 26

Dean wastes quite a bit of time trying to talk Cas into having a shower with him, but Cas doesn’t budge. Not only does he not need a shower, he thinks a shower is very similar to the rain and has never enjoyed rain since he was on the streets as a human. It brigs back bad memories for him.  
  
“You don’t have to need a shower to have a shower,” Dean tries again. “You could just want to take advantage of your naked boyfriend,” he offers.  
  
“We don’t have time for that,” Cas insists. “Go shower alone and I will… take advantage of you later,” Cas tries and Dean laughs.  
  
“I’m gonna hold you to that!” he says with a pointed finger at Cas as he reluctantly makes his way to the bathroom.  
  
Castiel takes this time to get ready the way Sam said he should. When he's finished he checks himself over in the mirror and has to say that while he still feels rather uncomfortable with the way these jeans hug his thighs so tightly, the pants are at least comfortable because the material is so stretchy. He reluctantly agrees that the whole outfit together looks quite nice. He sits at the table to wait for Dean to come out of the shower.  
  
Dean comes out with a towel wrapped around his waist and doesn’t seem to really look at Cas at all before he starts looking through his bag. He pulls on a pair of boxers first, then a pair of dark blue jeans. Cas gets a moment to appreciate the way they hug Dean’s ass before he chooses a shirt when Dean says over his shoulder, “Hey Cas? I left a black blazer in the trunk of Baby. Can you grab it for me?”  
  
“Sure,” Cas says as he goes to do just that. He comes back through the hotel room door to see Dean with his back to him as he pulls on black dress shoes. Cas can’t help but notice the ripple of muscles under his emerald green t-shirt because the t-shirt seems to be clinging to his body in a very, very appealing way. “Here you go,” Cas says as he holds out Dean’s blazer to him.  
  
Dean finally turns and gets an eyeful of Cas and the look that breaks out on Dean’s face suddenly makes Cas feel like he’s about to be eaten alive. Dean very obviously checks Cas out from head to toe and licks his lips in the process as he slowly stalks his way towards him. _This must be what it feels like to be prey_ , Cas finds himself thinking. Dean is definitely the predator in this scenario.  
  
“Wow,” Dean finally seems to get out when he’s standing directly in front of him. “Where have you been hiding those thighs, Cas?”  
  
Though Cas can tell Dean is obviously pleased with his appearance, he still says, “I told Sam I think they’re too tight. I still think so.”  
  
“They are not too tight. They’re perfect,” Dean says and he actually drops to his knees in front of Cas just to run his hands up and down those fucking thighs. “How did I miss the muscle here before? God. You need to be wrapped around me holding on just by these thighs. Like, yesterday.”  
  
Castiel can feel the blood in his body draining south and clears his throat before he says, “I’ll make sure to let Sam know you approve. He also seemed to think they look good on me. He picked them,” Cas says. He feels like he’s babbling but he also thinks if he stops talking him and Dean are not going to be able to join Sam and Donna at 7:00 like planned, and he doesn’t want to be rude.  
  
“He did, did he? Well, Sammy’s having some drinks on me tonight. Because he’s a fucking genius,” Dean says and he finally straightens to stand. “I’m going to have to watch you like a hawk tonight to make sure nobody hits on you. You look amazing.” He looks Cas directly in the eye and takes one step closer so that their bodies are touching and satisfaction burns through his body when he notices Cas lets the blazer he was so carefully holding a moment ago fall to the floor.  
  
When Cas catches the scent of Dean’s cologne it’s him who finally tilts his head up just enough to let Dean know what he wants, and that makes Dean take Cas’s lips in a searing kiss. Even knowing that this isn’t going past a kiss, Cas’s hands go straight for Dean’s ass and he pulls their bodies together with a groan. Dean keeps pushing Cas backwards until he has him up against the closest wall and then he’s plastered over top of him. He pulls away from Cas’s mouth just to run the blunt edge of his tongue down the hollow of skin exposed at Cas’s throat. “Mmmm,” he says afterwards and he feels Cas’s hips push against him. “ _Fuck_ ,” Dean grunts as he feels Cas’s teeth scrape across his jaw. “If I didn’t know Sam will be pounding on the door in a minute, I’d fuck you right up against this wall. Right here, right now,” he says to Cas.  
  
“So do it,” Cas tempts him with another roll of his hips.  
  
Dean sucks in a breath and lets it out in a laugh as he rests his head on Cas’s forehead to try and calm himself down. “I had no idea you’d be like this, Cas. I love it when you want me all the time.”  
  
“It can be overwhelming,” Cas admits and moans a little bit as he catches another wave of Dean’s cologne. “You even smell amazing,” he adds. “It’s incredibly arousing.”

Dean smiles and kisses him again, gentle this time, and then puts some distance between them to say, “I put that on just for you, angel.”  
  
Just then they hear a knock on the adjoining door and Dean shoots Cas a look and says, “Do I know him or what?” and they both laugh. “Come on,” Dean says and he pulls him along to pick up his blazer of the floor and then they go to join Sam and Donna in Sam’s room.  
  
Dean greets them both with a smile and a nod, and Cas says, “Hello, Sam. Donna.”  
  
“Told you that look would work for you,” Sam says proudly.

“This is kind of a weird thing to say to somebody who doesn’t know you very well, but you have extremely muscular thighs, Cas. What do you do to work out?” Donna asks.  
  
Castiel doesn’t know how to respond. He has a memory of the exercises Jimmy used to do but he has no idea what it’s actually called. He reaches out for Dean’s hand and concentrates on his grace for a moment before sending an image of the exercise through the bond. Dean inhales sharply and then says, “You should see how many squats this guy can do. He’s amazing,” he compliments Cas.  
  
“It’s been a while, though,” Cas says honestly.  
  
“Well it doesn’t show,” Donna says nicely.  
  
“If we’re all done ogling my boyfriend now...” Dean says with a pointed look at both of them, “can we drink? What did ya get for us?”  
  
“I brought the tequila as promised earlier,” Donna offers.  
  
“And I asked her to stop and get us beer and some Seagrams for Cas,” Sam says.  
  
“Thank you very much,” Cas says automatically. “I appreciate that.”

“No problem!” Donna answers happily.  
  
“Should we start off with some shots then?” Sam says and Dean looks at him happily.

“You’re fun on vacation!” fe says with excitement and Sam laughs.  
  
Donna walks over to the table and starts taking stuff out of a grocery bag. “I brought limes and salt for myself. I know a lot of guys are too macho to do it this way, but I’m not!”  
  
“What are they for?” Cas asks.  
  
“You’ve never had a tequila shot before?” she asks.

“Never. I’ve never been to a club either,” he adds for good measure.  
  
She looks between Sam and Dean and says, “This should be fun!” and they all smile in agreement.  
  
“I’m not too macho for the lime and salt,” Sam adds.  
  
“Well, if everybody’s doing it...” Dean says and he joins them at the table.  
  
Cas watches as the three of them first lick the joint of their thumb and forefinger, then pour salt on top of that. “It’s to make it stick,” Dean explains and Cas nods. “So first you lick the salt, toss back the shot, and then you suck the lime slice.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Because tequila is disgusting and it burns like a bitch,” Sam explains.  
  
“Ready?” Donna checks with Cas as she hands him the salt. He copies what the other three did and licks his hand, then Dean pours the salt on for him.  
  
“Salt, shot, lime,” he says out loud and they all nod.  
  
Sam holds his little shot glass up and says, “To Florida, baby!” and they all clink their glasses together before they pound back their first shots. Cas coughs and his eyes water slightly at the burn he feels making it’s way down his throat.  
  
“You alright?” Dean checks.  
  
“I’m fine,” Cas says. “I wasn’t expecting to feel the burn because –“  
  
“- You’re so manly?” Dean interrupts him. He thinks he was about to mention being an angel. “Please. It even burns for me and there’s nobody manlier,” Dean jokes.  
  
Sam laughs. “You’re definitely the manliest guy I know with a boyfriend,” he jokes.  
  
“Shut up, bitch,” Dean says.  
  
“Jerk,” Sam says back with affection and Cas laughs at the exchange. _Never seems to get old_ , he thinks fondly.  
  
Cas looks to Donna and says, “They do this often.”  
  
“I have nobody else to fight with now that we’re dating,” Dean says.  
  
“These two used to fight more than anybody,” Sam tells her.  
  
“Now we get rid of all of our pent-up frustration in other ways,” Dean says and he laughs at Cas’s sheepish expression. He gets up to get himself a beer and Cas a cooler.

“I think I’m going to need more tequila,” Sam says. “I have a feeling I’m going to hear and see a lot of things I don’t want to remember tomorrow.”  
  
Dean pops the top for Cas and sets it down in front of him before opening his own can. “God I hope so,” Dean replies and Donna laughs.  
  
“You guys are going to get me in trouble tonight, I can just see it,” she says as she takes a seat on Sam’s lap.  
  
“I assure you, I won't let anything happen to any of you,” Cas says seriously and Dean laughs to try and make it a joke.

“He’s a little protective of us,” he explains.

"It looks to me like you two could probably take care of yourselves," Donna says, but adds, "but it's sweet that he's like that with you both."  
  
Cas finally takes a drink of his cooler and is satisfied by it's sweet taste. He can't taste any alcohol in it and wonders if it will affect him at all. He doesn't want to get drunk, but he wouldn't mind loosening up like Dean said he did at Margaritaville. Going to a club with his boyfriend and his friends is something so human, so normal, that he really wants to enjoy it.  
  
"Anybody wanna play cards?" Sam asks.  
  
"I'm in," Dean says.  
  
"Nothing too competitive though," Sam says. "Dean doesn't lose well," he explains to Donna.  
  
"That's because it hardly ever happens," Dean replies. "I don't have much practice."  
  
After some debate, they ultimately decide on a game of Bullshit because it's mostly luck and doesn't have a ton of skill involved. Dean and Sam are both quite good at lying and Donna and Cas are both pretty awful, so it's a nice mix of intensity and hilarity. The hours pass almost as quickly as the alcohol (Sam stopped at three shots of tequila, and he's pretty sure Dean and Cas did at least another two, maybe more), and Sam notices again that the more Cas and Dean drink, the closer they get to one another. It's like Dean forgets that he's supposed to hold himself back. On one hand, it's really, really nice to see his brother so wrapped up in somebody for the first time ever. On the other hand, he wishes he didn't have to see it at all.  
  
Soon enough it's 10:00 and Donna assures them it's not too early to hit the club. They call a cab and Sam offers to sit in the front seat with the driver, but ultimately Donna ends up there, which leaves him, Cas, and Dean squished together in the back of a cab. Squishing is even putting it mildly.  
  
"We could make more room if Cas sits in my lap," Dean offers. He feels happy, a little drunk, and stupid in love with life - and Cas - tonight. He wants everybody to know Cas is his and he plans on marking his territory at every opportunity once they walk through the doors of that bar. _Might as well start now_ , he thinks. Plus, Cas in his lap ain’t a bad thing.  
  
"As much as that thought disturbs me, I can barely move back here," Sam complains.  
  
"Yes! Come'ere, baby," Dean murmurs to Cas and Cas moves to the left of the car so that he is sitting on Dean's lap with his feet on the seat beside Sam. Instantly, Dean has his arms wrapped around his waist and Cas moves his left arm to wrap around Dean's shoulder to make himself more comfortable.  
  
"You two look ridiculous," Sam says with a laugh, and then he thinks to take out his phone and snaps a picture of the two of them. He turns the phone around so they can see and they both laugh.  
  
"Guess I know which of you guys wants to go to this kinda bar," the cab driver says from the driver's seat.  
  
"You got a problem with that?" Sam says immediately.  
  
"If I did, I don't know which one of my moms would tan my hide faster," he replies and the interior of the cab seems to defrost a little bit. He looks at Dean and Cas in the rear-view mirror and says, "You two being silly like that reminds me of them."  
  
"Aw, you hear that, Dean? You and Cas remind him of a married couple!" Sam teases him.  
  
"What else is new," Dean complains but only half-seriously. "Might as well just get hitched now and save myself the trouble of denying it for the rest of my life," he says.  
  
Sam laughs a little too hard and says, "Together less than a week and you've already got him where you want him, Cas!"  
  
"You realize when he freaks out about his commitment issues and ends our relationship, you're the one who's going to have to deal with me afterwards, right Sam?" Cas says.  
  
"Don't be stupid," Dean says and gives Cas a little squeeze. "We're not breaking up! But Sam can still shut up," he adds.  
  
"Saved by the bell," the cab driver says as he pulls the car over. "We're here."


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I'm right where I belong."_

Sam pays the driver and they all get out of the cab. Dean keeps his arm around Cas as they wait in the short line to get in, and doesn't loosen his grip once they walk in either.  
  
Castiel knew it was going to be loud inside since he could both hear and feel the music waiting outside, but he didn't expect it to be _this_ loud. The lighting is dim with bright bursts of coloured lights pulsing to the music. He takes in the sea of bodies all moving the to the beat of the song. Most of them have drinks in their hands, sweat on their faces, and bodies pressed up against theirs. Cas is proud to see that, as usual, Dean is the most attractive person in the room.  
  
Dean takes in the scene and immediately notices how many same sex couples there are. There are boy/girl couples in the mix as well but they don't stick out to him as much as the others. That's probably on him though, he realizes. The music is absolute crap, but he didn't expect anything different. He sees Donna walk over to talk to one of the bouncers at the door and he nods his head and then points across the club.  
  
Donna comes back over to them and says something in Sam's ear. Sam gives a jerk of his head and Dean takes that to mean to follow him. He makes sure he has a firm grip on Cas and then they work on weaving themselves through the mass of people. Finally, they come to a small booth that has a "Reserved" sign on it and Donna picks it up off the table and slides in. Sam slides in beside her, and then Cas and Dean follow. The music isn't as loud over here and while they still have to shout, they can at least hear each other.  
  
"Beer Bus perk," Donna explains. "We sell our beer to this bar."  
  
"Is she cool or what?" Sam says as he kisses her on the cheek.  
  
"This is awesome," Dean agrees. "I'll go get us some more drinks," he offers but Donna shakes her head.  
  
"A server will come," she smiles. "Beer and tequila will be here in a minute."  
  
"Seriously!? You should keep her, Sam," Dean says to try and pay back his brother a little bit for all the ribbing he's gotten over the last few days.  
  
Sam just smiles because he and Donna have already spoken about this and he knows there's no pressure.  
  
"I have an idea for a game while we're here," Donna says.  
  
"A game?" Cas asks.  
  
She nods. "I say anytime one of us gets hit on by somebody other than the person we came with we have to buy the table a round of shots."  
  
"I didn't bring any money," Cas says.  
  
"I got Cas's," Dean says. "I'm in! But expect to get hammered because I'm a chick magnet," Dean smiles confidently.  
  
"Actually, we should probably set a limit. We stop at 5?" Donna asks.  
  
"That's fair," Sam agrees.  
  
"How do I know if somebody is hitting on me?" Cas asks innocently.  
  
"Easy," Dean says, "I'll punch whoever makes a move on you. Then you buy a shot," he says and Sam and Donna laugh.  
  
"So, you can get hit on but he can't?" Donna asks.  
  
"Sounds good to me," Dean laughs.  
  
Donna shakes her head. "Come on, Cas. Let me show you how to dance!"  
  
Cas nods. He saw the way these people are dancing and he doesn't know how to do that. Just then the server comes with their drinks and they pause to take their tequila shot before they go. Cas thinks they aren't burning as badly anymore. He also feels like his lips are tingling a little bit and thinks that must be an effect of the alcohol.  
  
Donna grabs Cas by the hand and pulls him on to the dance floor. Sam sees his brother narrow his eyes at her and he laughs. "Come on, Dean. You don't really think she's going to put a move on him with both of us sitting here?" Sam asks.  
  
"No, probably not. But I still don't like her holding his hand," he says.  
  
"It's a gesture of friendship. It's not a move," Sam laughs. "Relax. Don't you wanna see this play out? Cas dancing?" he says again.  
  
That's the thing though. There's so many bodies out there that he can't keep an eye on Cas. He looks at his phone and decides on a five-minute time limit. If Cas isn't back in five minutes he's going to get him.  
  
Donna pushes on to her tip toes to yell into Cas's ear, "Okay, first thing you have to do is stand with your feet about a shoulder-width apart." She backs up to demonstrate and Cas copies her. She nods her encouragement. She yells, "Now bend your knees a little bit," and though Cas can't hear every word, he gets the gist and copies her movement again. She nods again. She moves up to grab him by the shoulders and wiggles them as she yells, "Try to relax some, okay? Loosen up." He nods and lets his body relax some. She nods encouragingly again.  
  
She holds her hands up and slowly places them on his hips. He immediately thinks of all the times Dean has done the same thing to him but realizes how different it feels when he's not attracted to who is touching him. She's close to his body now and shouts, "Put your hands on my hips too," and he does, but tentatively. "Try to move your hips in time with mine, okay? My hands will guide you if you need it."  
  
He feels her hips start to sway to the beat of the music. He can easily pick out the tempo and understands the way she's moving and why. He can see the way her shoulders seem to follow her hips when she moves and because his hands are on her hips, he can feel the roll of muscle as well. Slowly, he starts to move his own hips. He can tell immediately he's too stiff because his bones are jutting side to side instead of swaying. "Try to make a figure 8 with your hips," Donna shouts at him. He tries and realizes that helps. That makes it easier to get the swaying down instead of jutting.  
  
She smiles at him and says, "There ya go!" With a little bit of guiding from her hands he feels like he is dancing just like everybody else. He starts to smile and then his face cracks on a big grin.  
  
"I'm dancing?" he asks her.  
  
"You're dancing!" she agrees. "You can actually move your hips really well! You look good!" she compliments him. "Can we try something else?" Castiel nods. "I have to move closer to your body though, okay? I'm going to be pressed up against you." He immediately looks uncomfortable and she notices. "It's not sexual when the people dancing don't want it to be, okay? It's just two people dancing." He nods.  
  
She turns around and backs into him. At first he moves out of the way for her but she grabs his hands and puts them on her waist again. "Bend your knees and spread your legs enough for my body to fit between them," she instructs him. He does and she wiggles in between them. She presses her back to his front and leans her head back so she can look up at him. "For this, you just follow my lead. I move my hips and you try to copy me, to cushion me almost," she explains and Cas nods.  
  
It's strange to have this soft, tiny body against his. It's not what he's used to, but he understands what she means about this not being sexual. He knows if Dean was pressed up against him this way he would be aroused, and yet here she is, wiggling against him and there is no sexual reaction whatsoever.  
  
"You're doing great, Cas!" she says. When the song ends she turns around and holds her hand up for him. He looks at it for a second and she says, "High five? You're officially ready to dance with your boyfriend," she says and realizes he's supposed to hit her hand, so he does.  
  
Just then he feels a tap on his shoulder and he turns to see a man standing there. He is about the same height as himself. The next thing he notices is that he has a very large beard, and that he's talking to him but he can't hear him. He leans in closer like Donna had been doing to him and he hears the man say, "Wanna dance?"  
  
Before he gets a chance to decline he can feel a hand on his back and he spins to see Dean shoot the bearded man a tight smile when he says, "He's with me."  
  
The man looks between them and then says, "Why don't you let him speak for himself?"  
  
Dean flexes menacingly but Cas says, "I'm in love with him."  
  
The man nods and pulls a card out of his pocket to hand it to Cas. Castiel reaches out to take it and the man says, "In case it doesn't work out. Call me," and walks away.  
  
Sam pops up between Cas and Dean and throws an arm around each of them to say, "First round's on Cas! You stud!" And laughs as he makes his way back to the booth.  
  
Cas leans in and says against Dean's ear, "I was going to decline his offer, Dean."  
  
"Damn right you were," he says as his eyes zero in on the card. "I should've punched him for giving you that in front of me."  
  
Castiel drops it on the floor. "Better?" Dean shrugs a shoulder. He moves in closer to Dean and loops his arms around his neck. Dean places his hands on Cas's hips and Cas can feel his skin hum under his hands. _Much different than Donna_ , he thinks again and smiles. He leans in to kiss dean. Dean is still pouting about not getting to punch the bearded man, so Cas takes the opportunity to bite down on his bottom lip gently and then he feels Dean finally respond to his kiss.  
  
For the first time in public, Dean lets himself kiss Cas the way he wants to. He doesn't pull away before they get carried away. He doesn't keep his mouth closed in case somebody's grossed out by seeing them. He doesn't feel like he's supposed to look like he's not enjoying this as much as he is. He isn't listening for snickers or insults around him. Instead, he kisses Cas like he'd kiss anybody in any bar, and he had no idea how badly he needed to do this until right now.  
  
When he finally pulls away he realizes they're dancing. Both of their bodies are moving together to the music... and Donna was right. He has to eat his words from earlier because Cas can _move_. He feels Cas's hips sway side to side and immediately remembers how it felt to have him grinding on top of him in the Impala. He should have known he would be able to dance. He knew how those hips of his could work!  
  
Cas thinks about moving closer to Dean so that they can dance like he and Donna did at the end. Then he realizes he's the smaller one of the two of them so he should be the one to turn around and he can feel his body doing just that before he's completely thought it through. His head is spinning slightly and he feels reckless! Then Dean's hands are on his hips again and Cas can feel his ass bump and slide against Dean's body first by accident, and then very much on purpose.

Dean's hands start roaming and Cas leans into every touch. Dean's hands push his way under the hem of Cas's shirt and rest on the few inches of bare skin he can find. Cas feels his body shudder. The next time he bumps his ass against Dean's body he can feel the beginning of Dean's erection against him. Dean pulls him in closer to hold his ass right on the growing bulge and they sway together that way, Cas feeling his own arousal beginning to kick in.  
  
Dean kisses wet, open-mouthed kisses down Cas's neck and though he can't hear it, he can feel Cas's moan against his lips. He kisses back up to Cas's ear and says, "Now I feel better," he says. "Look around, Cas. Everybody knows you're mine."  
  
Cas listens to Dean and lets his eyes sweep the faces around him. He catches the eyes of many people and they all smile or give him knowing looks. He even gets a few thumbs up from these people and he has no idea who they are. But it's easy to see they all recognize he is in a relationship of some kind with Dean, and they all approve. He turns to face Dean and because he feels like he can say it here, in public, in front of everybody (not that they can hear him) he says, "I love you, Dean. I'm yours."  
  
Dean looks at the way Cas's entire body is relaxed in a way he hardly ever sees him. He doesn't know if it's the alcohol, the music, the club, or a mixture of all of it, but there's nothing Dean wouldn't do to keep him this way. He smiles at his angel and says louder than he needs to, "Love you, too, Cas." When the song ends he says, "Let's go order those shots."

Cas trails behind him on the way back to their table, never letting go of his hand the whole way, and for the first time Dean can remember, instead of feeling somewhat embarrassed about it, he feels what he thinks might be pride. He's proud to be here with Cas, and it's a damned good feeling.


	28. Chapter 28

They slide back into their booth and Sam says, “I ordered you guys each another beer and I got us our round of shots, on you of course,” he smiles. Then he looks at Cas, “Did Dean punch that guy for trying to dance with you?”  
  
“Almost,” Cas answers.  
  
“I should have. He gave Cas his number right in front of me!” Dean explains.  
  
“That’s a dick move,” Donna agrees.  
  
Their server returns with their drinks and they all prepare to do another shot. This time Dean takes Cas's hand with the salt on it and looks him in the eye as he slowly licks it off of his hand before he downs his shot. Castiel looks across the booth to see Sam and Donna doing the same thing. He takes Dean's hand and repeats his action, making sure to get every last grain of salt with his tongue. He takes his own shot and then sees Dean holding up his lime slice for him, so he grabs Dean's wrist and bites into it. He has barely sucked at all when Dean grabs him by the back of the head and pulls him in for a wet, sloppy kiss.

When they finally break away from each other Castiel sees that Sam is pointedly looking away from them and he feels a moment of guilt before Donna drags Sam on to the dance floor.

Castiel takes a moment to enjoy that this bar has the Blueberry Wheat Ale he was drinking in the Beer Bus because he enjoys it more than all of the other beer he’s had. Other than that one time he drank almost the entire liquor store, this is the most alcohol he has ever consumed. He definitely feels lighter. He feels a slight buzzing throughout his whole body and actually kind of likes it.  
  
“I think I’m beginning to feel intoxicated,” Castiel says brightly and Dean laughs at his enthusiasm.  
  
“I think we all are, Cas,” Dean says. Castiel takes a second to really look at Dean and sees his cheeks are flushed and his eyes are a little bit unfocused, but he’s definitely seen him in worse shape.

“Can we go dance again?” Castiel asks.  
  
“I gotta piss like a race horse,” Dean says. “You go find Sam and Donna. I’ll find you.” He stops long enough to kiss Cas again, and Castiel is loving this overly affectionate, clearly turned on version of Dean he's been getting all night. It's like Dean can't stay away from him and wants everybody to know it.

Once he watches Dean walk away (he really needs to wear those jeans more often), he grabs his beer and scans the crowd to find Sam and Donna. Thankfully, because of how tall Sam is, it doesn't take long to find them.  
  
“Come dance with us, Cas,” Donna says as she grabs on to his free hand. Castiel allows himself to be pulled along by Donna. They stand in a small little triangle and Castiel never stops smiling as the three of them dance to the music. He is enjoying this! He can feel the alcohol in his system loosening up his body even more and while a part of him thinks he's probably starting to look silly, another part of him doesn't care and just wants to have fun!  
  
Sam places his hands low on Donna’s hips and moves up so he’s closer to her body. She’s so short compared to him that it’s easy to support her weight as she leans her body back against his and slithers against him sinfully. He’s pretty drunk and happy to be here with two of his favourite people – and Donna, too, of course – and he’s not worrying about behaving himself or staying alert just in case. He’s letting himself go for once and he’s having a really great time.  
  
“This is so fun!” he yells out to nobody in particular and watches as Cas nods in agreement.

Donna reaches out and pulls Cas closer so that the two boys are sandwiching her between them. She reaches out to hold on to the hand Cas isn’t using to hold his beer, and moves it between them as they dance. Sam appreciates Donna trying to make sure Cas doesn’t feel left out and bends to plant a kiss to her cheek to let her know. _She’s a good person_ , he thinks happily.  
  
Suddenly there is a squeal of excitement from beside them and a tiny girl breaks the three of them up to attack Donna in what Castiel thinks is a hug. They talk animatedly for a minute and then the new girl starts dancing with them. It’s easy to see that Sam is with Donna, which means the new girl starts dancing with him. Castiel begins to feel awkward but remembers how Donna said it doesn’t have to be sexual to dance with somebody, so he pushes it down and enjoys the company of this tiny woman who is obviously a friend of Donna's. He makes sure to keep some distance between them so that they aren’t pressed against each other too closely but the girl is very persistent.  
  
Donna gives Sam a gentle nudge to the ribs and mouths, “Watch this!” to him. She grabs the hand of her friend and leads her so that they now surround Cas. Castiel freezes for a second when he feels both women press their bodies against his and start wiggling their hips as they move up and down his body, trailing hands along his sides and chest and back. They’re both laughing like they think this is funny. He looks at Sam and sees him laughing and smiling at his reaction, which leads Castiel to believe this is okay. He doesn’t usually like people this close to him, but because Sam is there and seems to be okay with it (and probably because of the alcohol, too) he wiggles his hips and lets his body sway to the music, but keeps his hands to himself.  
  
That’s how Dean finds him when he comes back from the bathroom. His Cas, his angel, with two women pressed up against his body. Dean feels jealously rip through him and has to shove it down some when he remembers that Donna is with Sam, and she’s not trying to get with Cas. But this other chick? Who the hell is she? And why is Cas letting her touch him like that?  
  
Dean goes and stands beside his brother to ask that question when Sam says, “Friend of Donna’s. Don’t freak out,” and throws his arm around him companionably.

Dean shrugs it off but doesn’t interrupt Cas for now. He watches Cas move his body and sees the way the women are rubbing up against him and for a second he finds himself thinking that this is actually kinda hot. Even if it isn’t necessarily true, seeing these women act like they want Cas makes him want Cas more, and even though he’s slightly jealous, he knows Cas only wants him. It’s probably the alcohol that makes his mind drift to Sam’s comment from this morning about a threesome and finds he’s pretty aroused by the idea right now.  
  
After that thought forms, he doesn’t want to be away from Cas anymore. He puts his hands on Donna’s shoulders and she spins to see him and then moves away from Cas to make room for Dean. Dean slides in in front of Cas and immediately pulls him in to claim him with his kiss. He lets his hands roam again and feels himself getting more turned on by the minute. He loves Cas's body so fucking much.  
  
“Hello, Dean!” Castiel says excitedly when they break apart. “I missed you!” Dean realizes Donna’s friend hasn’t backed away from rubbing up against Cas’s back side this whole time and he reaches around Cas to pull her in between them. Her face lights up in appreciation when she gets a look at his face, and she wastes no time slithering up against him as Cas crowds against her back. Dean places his hands on her hips and sends her a cocky smile and says, “Hey,” with a wink. He raises his voice to shout, “I see you’ve met my boyfriend.”  
  
“I didn’t know there was another option,” she flirts with him.

Castiel can’t hear what Donna’s friend is saying to Dean because she is facing away from him, but he absolutely _did_ see that wink come from Dean aimed in her direction, and he doesn't like it at all, even if Dean did say he was his boyfriend. He feels something like anger twist in his stomach and has to remember that it’s just dancing. Nothing sexual. Even if he did wink at her.  
  
“We come as a package deal,” Castiel hears Dean say and Castiel’s eyebrows draw together in confusion. What's that supposed to mean?  
  
“I could be into that,” the girl purrs at Dean.  
  
Dean looks up and sees Sam giving him a pissed off look, then looks at Cas and sees the confused look on his face and his hands immediately drop away from this girl. He gives his head a slight shake and thinks, _What the hell am I doing_? He looks back down to the girl and realizes how wrong she felt. Her hips weren’t right. Too soft. She’s too short. He snorts when he realizes she’s been rubbing up against him suggestively for a few minutes and he isn’t even a little bit hard. He might have lost his head for a minute there when old habits kicked in, but his body doesn’t want this woman. He only wants Cas.  
  
He places his hands on her shoulders nicely and gives his head a shake, “Sorry. Got a little carried away,” he shouts at her. “I’m with him. Only.” She smiles and shrugs and moves away from him.  
  
Dean moves in so that he’s close to Cas again. He turns him so that Cas’s back is pressed to his front. He says into his ear, “There’s my angel.” He pulls Cas directly against his cock and says, “Feel that?”  
  
Castiel shakes his head and turns his face toward Dean to look up at him. “I don’t feel anything,” Castiel says.  
  
“Exactly. Because that was nothing, okay? I don’t want anybody else. I only want you.” Cas smiles at him and Dean continues, “Dancing with you gets me hard, Cas. Nobody else does. Only you.”

Cas tips his head up so Dean can kiss him again and he groans when he feels Dean’s hands find his skin under the hem of his shirt again. “You looked hot as fuck dancing with those girls,” Dean says. The alcohol loosens his tongue and he says, “Made some crazy ideas run around in my head for a minute. Thought about sharing you.”  
  
Cas stops. _Sharing_? He doesn’t want to share Dean and he doesn't want to be shared with anybody else! “No!” Cas says firmly and roughly. He feels a thrum of possessiveness race through his body. “I will not share you, Dean. You are _mine_!” He pulls him roughly against him and kisses him hot and hard. His hands come up to fist in Dean’s hair to hold his head in place so he can kiss him exactly the way he wants to: roughly. Castiel concentrates on his grace and sends all the possessiveness, jealousy, and desire he is feeling right now directly to Dean and he can feel Dean’s body react accordingly.  
  
Dean pulls away from Cas and says, “We’re leaving. Now.” And Cas nods in agreement.  
  
Dean catches Sam’s eye and gives him a wave. Sam waves back and Dean knows that he knows they’re leaving.  
  
Dean leads the way as they half-stumble their way outside and goes to wave for a cab. Castiel pulls his hand down and shakes his head. He looks around for a quiet spot and pulls Dean towards it. He looks around one more time before placing his fingers on Dean’s forehead and flying them back to their hotel.  
  
Castiel barely waits for Dean to get his feet under him before he’s pulling his body against him and claiming his lips again. He can feel the alcohol pumping through his body and it gives everything a floaty feeling. He feels every hard line of Dean’s body press against his and he hears a groan make it’s way up his throat.  
  
“Say it again,” Dean says breathily and Cas knows exactly what he wants.  
  
"You. Are. _Mine,_ " Castiel growls.  
  
Dean pulls the sweater Cas is wearing off of his body as he says, " _Fuck_ it makes me hot when you talk like that." Castiel follows Dean's lead and pushes Dean's blazer off of his shoulders. He allows his hands to run up Dean's bare arms now and relishes the feeling of skin on skin.  
  
"More," Dean breathes. He's thinking about how Cas is the only one who can make him feel like this now as he works on loosening Cas's tie and curses when he can't get it undone. His hands are shaking and he doesn't know why.  
  
Cas covers Dean's hands with his own and brings them to his lips to kiss them softly. "I got it," he says and he calmly takes off his tie and begins unbuttoning his shirt. Dean watches Cas's long fingers as they undo each button to reveal a sliver of skin inch by inch.  
  
Dean's kisses start at the collar of Cas's shirt and his mouth traces the path of his open shirt straight down to Cas's pants. He winds up on his knees and can't help but notice the bulge in Cas's pants that waits for him. He looks up to share a wicked smile with Cas before he buries his face in the fabric of his jeans, using his face to trace the bulge and feeling it turn harder under his skin. The booze is making it hard to resist even the slightest urges, and he lets some things he's kept buried bubble to the surface.  
  
"I want your cock, Cas. I want it all the time. Never thought I'd love it so much but I do. So much. I don't care if it makes me gay or bi or whatever the fuck it means. I want your cock. I want it in my mouth, I want it pressed against mine, I want it in me," he murmurs.  
  
Castiel lifts him up to dominate his mouth again. He has never heard Dean say anything like that before and the need inside of him is almost more than he can take. He lets it move through the bond to Dean and Dean gasps against his mouth.  
  
"On the bed," Dean gets out and Cas pulls him back towards it with him. Dean finally gets Cas's shirt off of his shoulders and throws it behind him as they make their way slowly to the bed. His lips trace over Cas's shoulders and neck and his hands caress the muscles of his bare back. He can't stop touching him. He hears Cas saying his name like a prayer over and over and it goes straight to his already leaking cock.  
  
Castiel can't wait anymore and goes for the fly of Dean's pants. Once they're open to him he dips his hand inside Dean's boxers and grips his throbbing cock tightly in his hand. Dean groans before the back of Castiel’s knees hit the bed, and then Castiel is flat on his back with his legs still over the side, and Dean's standing there with his dick half out of his pants still fully dressed. Dean remedies that quickly as his pants hit the floor along with his boxers and then he pulls off his shirt and drops it all on the floor. He reaches for Cas and undoes the button of his pants and then peels them off of his body.  
  
He finally gets a chance to check out Cas's thighs out of those pants and he groans in appreciation of the thick muscles there. He has no idea how he missed them before. He kneels between Cas's legs again to lick and suck his way up one leg, then moves over to do the same to the other one. Cas's dick lays heavy and flushed on his leg and Dean can smell precum and arousal coming from it.  
  
"You're hard for me," Dean says.  
  
"So hard," Castiel groans. "Please, Dean."  
  
"Mmmm you're always so needy, Cas. Always begging for me," Dean drawls and he can feel his desire coiled so tightly inside of him. "Begging for my cock."  
  
" _Yes_ ," Castiel hisses at him. He knows the alcohol has loosened his tongue when he says, "I want you to fuck me."  
  
Dean's head falls back as he bites back a moan. "I will, angel, I will. Not so fast though," he says gently as he finally traces a vein in Cas's dick with a single finger. "We have all night."  
  
" _Please_!" Castiel begs. He needs friction. He needs something! He can't just lay here like this and wait.  
  
"Shhh," Dean soothes him as he drags his fingers through the precum leaking from the tip of Cas's dick. Cas thrusts forwards instantly and Dean spreads the precum around, getting Cas's dick nice and slicked up for him. "Look at you leaking for me, Cas. You're fucking soaked."  
  
"I need you," Castiel begs him and he's rewarded when Dean strokes his cock nice and slow. A shudder moves through his whole body and he realizes he's writhing on the bed. "You were the hottest person in the whole bar. You're mine and I want you to show me." Dean twists his wrist and Castiel can't hold back a moan and lets it roll through him.  
  
"You're like every wet dream I've ever had," Dean compliments him. "That fucking voice. Your body writhing. Your cock leaking. You begging me for it. You're perfect, Cas. So perfect," he gushes and then he feels the grace start to move under his skin. "You're perfect for me. Shit Cas, I'm so in love with every damn thing about you."  
  
Castiel feels his grace kick in and he knows Dean can feel it too. "I'm yours," Castiel says. "I love you. I'm your mate, Dean. I've wanted to be yours for so long and now I am. Forever," he croaks as he feels Dean's grace begin to mix with his. He opens his eyes to see Dean and notices his eyes are shining with emotion. "Kiss me," he begs and Dean does.  
  
He leans in so his upper body is draped across Cas and Cas finally lifts his legs and wraps those thighs around Dean's legs. Their cocks rub against each other's skin. "Fuck, I love you, Cas. Love you so much," he whispers between kisses. "You feel so amazing. Every damn time."  
  
"Make love to me with our grace between us, Dean. Please. I want to share it with you so badly."  
  
"I got you, angel," he promises. He reaches for the lube from the nightstand beside him and spreads it on to his dick and fingers. He keeps Cas where he is on the edge of the bed with his legs wrapped around him and slowly rubs a circle around his tight hole. Cas moans in appreciation and Dean feels his cock twitch with interest. He slowly sinks his finger into Cas and hisses at the wet heat. "Tell me how it feels," he asks.  
  
"So good, Dean. It feels so good but I need more. Please." Dean complies and adds a second finger. Cas gasps, "Better. I can feel you stretching me open and it's... it's a burning feeling but it's so good." He opens the bond between them and sends the feeling to Dean. Dean groans loudly.  
  
"That's - that's how it feels?" he stutters.  
  
"Mmmmm," Castiel moans and he rolls his hips to fuck into Dean's fingers but it still isn't enough. Just then Dean curls his fingers inside of Castiel and he hits his prostate and Castiel calls out in pleasure. "Yes, Dean! Dean, please. _Again_." And Dean does. Castiel is desperate for his orgasm now and Dean hasn't even entered him yet. "Dean?" he asks. "Dean, please. I need you. I need you to make me feel so good, Dean. Please!"  
  
Dean leans in to swallow Cas's desperate pleas with a kiss and then, still standing, finally lines himself up and sinks hard and fast into Cas in one long stroke. He hears Cas cry out in pleasure and backs out to do it again. There's never any resistance from Cas and he loves it so much. He loves Cas so much.  
  
"Love you, baby," he whispers and he feels the grace again. He remembers that Cas wants this and lets out every thought he has. "You feel so good for me, Cas. Nothing will ever feel as good as this. Just me ‘n’ you. Best I've ever had, angel. Because I love you so damm much. Love how you come alive under me," he says. "Love how you feel around me."  
  
Cas locks his legs around Dean's waist tighter to pull him in closer. Dean keeps fucking him on the edge of the bed but bends at the waist to lick and suck at his nipples. Bending changes the angle of his thrusts and he knows instantly he's hit Cas's prostate again when Cas cries out. "Like that, Cas?"  
  
"Yessss," Castiel groans. It feels amazing. He sends the feeling and the pleasure he's experiencing across to Dean and Dean's stomach clenches with pleasure.  
  
"Fuck, Cas!" he shouts as he feels an electrical shock run all through his body. "You do that again and I'm gonna come," he warns. "Felt so good," he explains.  
  
"That's how it always feels for me," Castiel gets out. He wants one more thing and he's brave enough to ask for it because of the alcohol. "T-touch me, Dean. I want to fuck your hand."  
  
Dean wraps his hand around Cas's cock and starts jerking him in time to his thrusts and Cas is delirious with pleasure. "So perfect for me, Cas. Wanted to do this all night. I was hard for you all night, Cas. Wanna come for you."  
  
"Dean, Dean, Dean," Castiel chants mindlessly as he pushes his ass harder on to Dean's cock. He knows he's so close. "I love you. I love you sooo much. My mate," he breathes happily and hears his throat clog with emotion. He can feel the grace sharing between them on that never-ending loop and it's the most validating thing he's ever felt. Dean hits his prostate again and Castiel’s orgasm crashes into him, cradled by the sweet happiness of his grace sharing with Dean, and he comes as tears slide down his face.  
  
Dean feels the emotion behind Cas's words when he calls him his mate through the still-open bond and it's overwhelming in the best possible way. The certainty that Cas will love him forever, the depth of Cas's love, Cas feeling that he finally found his one and only in Dean after waiting for so long is what sends Dean up and over the peak of his own orgasm. He begins to spill inside of Cas and continues to pound into him frantically until it's over, murmuring his love for Cas the whole time.  
  
He feels his legs beginning to give out on him and pushes Cas up so they can both lay on the bed. Cas goes easily and drags Dean down on top of him. Dean supports his upper body on his arms and sees Cas's tears.  
  
"Oh, angel," he soothes as he wipes them away. "I feel like you do, too," he whispers, brave enough to say this now that he has felt how Cas feels. "I felt it all night. I feel like you're it for me. I feel like I finally got something right." He kisses Cas gently on each of his cheeks, his lips, and then to his forehead. "I feel like this is forever."  
  
Castiel is overcome with emotion and has to cover his face with his hands. It's when he does that that he realizes the bond is still open. He closes it between them and tries to settle himself. He didn't know if Dean would ever say these things to him. He knows how Dean is with commitment and these words mean that much more to him because of it. He takes a deep breath to help try and pull himself together and says, "I didn't mean to leave the bond open like that. You don't need to say those things back to me just because you felt them coming from me. You understand that because I'm your mate all of this is more intense for me, right?"  
  
"It only made me more sure," Dean says. "I would never say this if I didn't mean it. I don't ever want to lose you, Cas. I have never told this to anybody. Ever." He waits for Cas to meet his eyes before he says with as much sincerity and feeling as he possibly can, "I want to be with you forever. I want to love you forever. I want to kiss you every day and make love to you every chance I get. And I know that's never going to change," he explains.  
  
"Dean," Castiel chokes out happily. He grabs him around the neck and pulls him in as close as he possibly can. He presses kisses everywhere he can reach and hears himself laugh. "I want that, too."  
  
Dean smiles and says, "You make me so happy." He allows himself to bask in this feeling inside of him. Certainty. It feels unbelievable. This is how he's going to fall asleep every night for the rest of his life. With Cas beside him. He suddenly lets out a yawn and says, "Are you as exhausted as I am?"  
  
Cas nods and Dean feels the sticky mess vanish between them. "Pajamas and bed," he says softly. Dean finds them, passes Cas his, and then hits the bathroom quickly. When he comes back out Cas is under the covers waiting for him, and he climbs in happily to snuggle into what he now thinks of as his nook while Cas wraps his always warm arms around him.  
  
"Thank you, Dean," Castiel sighs happily.  
  
And Dean doesn't have to ask for what, because he knows. He feels gratitude inside himself and knows Cas must feel as thankful as he does that they have this.  
  
"Love you," he whispers softly.  
  
Cas kisses him on his head and says, "Love you, too," and he strokes Dean's back the way he likes until they both drift softly and happily off to sleep.


	29. Chapter 29

Castiel wakes up the next morning to find himself alone in bed. He’s disoriented because this has never happened to him before. Almost immediately, fear kicks in and he’s afraid something has happened to Dean. He sits up and is ready to spring into action when he remembers to check his phone. He is relieved to see a message waiting for him from Dean. All it says is, “Coffee.” Castiel breathes a sigh of relief. He can’t believe Dean was able to get out of bed and leave the hotel room without waking him up. He must have been really out of it.  
  
Actually, he still feels pretty tired. Lazy, even. It isn’t something he’s used to feeling. He lays back down and drifts in and out of sleep while he waits for Dean to come back.  
  
Not much later, Dean comes in with a tray with two coffees and a bag of what Castiel knows is breakfast. Dean smiles at Castiel once he sees he’s awake.

“Good morning sleepy head!” Dean walks in wearing the green t-shirt he had on last night, a pair of sweatpants low on his hips, and a day’s worth of scruff grown on his face. Somehow, he looks just as good as he did all dressed up last night.  
  
“Good morning, Dean. I’m sorry I didn’t wake up when you did,” he says.  
  
“No big deal. You must’ve been tired! I brought coffee and pancakes,” Dean tells him.  
  
Castiel gets up out of bed to join Dean at the table as Dean starts pulling Styrofoam take out containers out of the bag. “Thank you. I feel like I need coffee for once. My head feels strangely fuzzy,” Castiel comments.  
  
“That’ll be the tequila from last night,” Dean explains. “I had a bit of a headache but I popped a couple of pills and I feel better now.”  
  
“I can heal you if necessary,” Castiel says concerned.  
  
“Are you going to dote on every little pain I have now?” Dean teases.  
  
“Yes,” Castiel says seriously. “Get used to it.”  
  
“Sugar,” Dean says with a smile as he passes six packets to Cas. “I was judged for grabbing that many sugars for two coffees by the way, so you better enjoy your coffee.”  
  
Castiel smiles at Dean knowing how he likes his coffee. He loves knowing that he pays attention to the small things. They both dig into their pancakes and eat in a comfortable silence. He can feel the coffee beginning to clear his head and is happy to feel more like himself. Dean eats the last bite of his breakfast and tosses back the remainder of his coffee. He leans back in his chair and says, “I can’t believe this is our last full day here.”  
  
“We leave tomorrow?” Castiel asks.  
  
“Yep, check out is at 11,” Dean says, and Cas thinks he detects a hint of sadness in his tone.  
  
“I understand it’s our responsibility to hunt,” Castiel says, “but I don’t want to go.”  
  
“Me neither,” Dean agrees.  
  
Castiel swallows his pride and confesses, “I’m apprehensive that things will change between us once we get back.”  
  
Dean gets up from his seat at the table and moves to stand behind Cas. He wraps his arms around his shoulders from behind and plants a kiss to the top of his head right into his fluffy hair. “Things’ll probably change, Cas. We’ll have to figure out how to really live together. Who has to do the laundry, who has to make the bed, shit like that. Me ‘n Sammy will add you in to the cooking rotation. We’ll have to get you your own credit card,” he thinks. “But that’s just real life shit. It’s not going to make me love you any less.”  
  
“What if I’m a terrible hunter like I was last time I tried?” he asks.  
  
“You won’t be. You’ve learned so much since then, Cas. And me and Sam will help you. You don’t have to worry about this stuff, angel. Even if you spend an entire day interrogating another cat, I won’t love you any less, okay?” Dean jokes.  
  
“Are you sure? I feel… very insecure.”  
  
“I’m sure. Don’t you remember what I told you last night?” he bends down to kiss the curve where his shoulder meets his neck.  
  
Cas smiles and teases, “I think I might need you to tell me again.”  
  
Dean pulls on Cas’s chair and crouches down so that he’s eye to eye with Cas. A brilliant smile breaks out on his face and he feels his cheeks heat up slightly, but he says, “This is forever. You n me. Okay?”

Castiel feels some of the tension leave his body. “Okay,” he answers happily. He leans in to brush his lips against Dean’s for the first time this morning and feels even better.  
  
“Do you know what our plans are for today?” Castiel asks Dean after they break apart.  
  
“Not a clue. I sent Sam a text but I haven’t heard back yet. I figured we could just hang out here until he does. I wouldn’t mind some more time just the two of us anyway.”  
  
“I’d like that as well,” Cas says.  
  
“I say we stay in our comfy clothes as long as we can and change if we need to once we hear from Sam.”  
  
Cas agrees and they settle on to their unmade bed to snuggle together and watch more episodes of _Friends_ together. More than once they find themselves distracted by each other and lose chunks of episodes kissing and talking.  
  
It's been hours and they still can't stop touching each other. Castiel lays there and closes his eyes to concentrate on the feeling of Dean's hand caressing every inch of his bare chest. He never stops stroking Dean's back the way he knows he loves so much. Every time their eyes meet they kiss again and again, neither of them seeming to get tired of it. Grace has been moving sweetly between them all morning and Cas is loving every second of it.  
  
"Cas?" Dean says breaking the happy silence that's been hanging between them.  
  
"Mmm," Cas grunts in response. He's very relaxed.  
  
"Remember when you sent those feelings to me last night when we were, uh, having sex?" he asks somewhat awkwardly. Cas notices that Dean doesn't turn towards him to talk. Which is different.  
  
"I did that a few times, if I recall. You'll have to be more specific."  
  
"What it felt like. When I was inside you."  
  
"I remember," Cas says slowly. He doesn't know where Dean is going with this.  
  
"Does it really feel that good?" he asks.  
  
"Yes," Cas answers easily. "I really had no idea it would feel as good as it does. Especially -"  
  
"When I hit your prostate? Yah, I felt that from you, too." Dean says, and Cas notices his voice seems to have dropped deeper.  
  
"Why do you ask?"  
  
"I, uh, I think I might like to try it. Sometime."  
  
"You want to bottom?" Castiel asks. For some reason he didn't think Dean would want to.  
  
Dean clears his throat and says, "If that's how it feels... I might want to try it." He huffs out a breath and says, "Why do I feel like I'm more gay if I want to do this?" he groans.  
  
"I can assure you I don't consider myself more gay than you are just because I bottom, if that makes you feel any better," Castiel tells him. "You know it's part of the angel mating process." He lets that hang there between them for a minute.  
  
"I know," Dean says quietly. "I've been thinking about that. I think... I'd like to be your mate, Cas."  
  
Castiel blinks. He is sure that time has stopped. It's like this is happening to somebody else. He heard the words but he doesn't believe them. He doesn't believe this is really happening to him.  
  
"Cas?" Dean checks. Cas hasn't even breathed.  
  
"Sorry," he says finally. "You caught me by surprise. You never expressed any interest in that until now,” he says.  
  
"I know. Im just... I'm thinking in terms of forever anyway, right? I want you forever. Why not seal the deal?"  
  
"It's a big commitment," Castiel hears himself say, and he has no idea why he is reacting so distantly. "Bigger than anything humans have ever known."  
  
"I know..." Dean answers. Why doesn't Cas seem happy? "Do you... not want me for a mate?" he asks quietly.  
  
"I never allowed myself to really think you would be interested in it. You've um, thrown me for a loop I believe you would say."  
  
"I've been thinking about it all morning. I felt what you felt. I felt how certain you are that I'm the only one for you and how you know straight down to your soul that you will love me forever. I want that," Dean says. He finally pushes himself up on to his arms and leans his head on to his hand. "I want to feel that, too. I want to know that no matter what - no matter how bad I fuck up - me and you are forever."  
  
"You know that even if we m-mate," Castiel stumbles on the word. He wants this more than anything but he needs to be clear with Dean. "Even if we mate," he tries again, "I can still choose to leave. As can you."  
  
"But you said it almost never happens!" Dean argues.  
  
"But it does _occasionally_. I don't want you to think you can mate with me and that it means - I don't know - that you have a free pass to hurt me and that you will automatically always be forgiven. Or the other way around," he adds.  
  
"That's not what I think." Dean says tightly and he rolls away from Cas. "God. I thought you'd be happy. Not try to shove me away."  
  
"Dean," Castiel soothes him. "You misunderstand me." He moves so that he is pressed against Dean's back with his arm thrown around him. He waits for Dean to shift so that he can meet his eyes. "Having you as my mate would be the answer to so many of my prayers. I have prayed to my Father for thousands of years asking him to send me somebody exactly like you. Brilliant and warm," he kisses him on the cheek. "Funny and patient," he kisses his neck. "Stubborn and strong," he kisses his shoulder. "Big hearted," he kisses his forehead. "Somebody who would take care of me while I took care of them. Somebody who would make me feel like there is more to this life of mine than duty." He finally kisses Dean soft and quick on his lips and he feels Dean strain forwards for more. "I should have known it was part of His plan for me when I was the one chosen to bring you from Perdition. I met you, and within months I had turned my back on everything I had ever known all because _you_ asked me to. It took me three days of being with you like this to know I don't want to go back to Heaven - the only home I have had for thousands of years - because now I want to stay here with you," he cups the side of Dean's face with his hand. Dean leans into the affectionate gesture. "My Father gave me His blessing, Dean. _Every_ other time an angel has been with a human it was against His wishes. He sent you to me," Castiel whispers. "Of course I'm happy. You cannot even comprehend how long I've waited for you. Please forgive me if I've hurt your feelings. Understand that I only want to be extremely certain that this is what you want." He swallows his pride and says, "I don't even want to allow myself to consider the possibility of mating with you if you're not sure. You would... shatter me if you chose this and then changed your mind."  
  
"I wish you could feel how you make me feel," Dean whispers. "I know how you feel because I felt it. But you have to take me at my word, Cas. I will never change my mind. How can I not want you - want this - forever? You talk to me like that and I feel like the luckiest son of a bitch alive. I don't even care if I don't deserve you, I love you and I'm _never_ going to stop. I'm not going to change my mind."  
  
Cas absorbs the words. He feels hope blossom inside his vessel. "You won't ever be with a woman again," he reminds him.  
  
"I couldn't get it up for a woman when she was rubbing her ass against my dick, Cas. I think that ship has sailed," he says seriously and Cas laughs at the absurd turn of this conversation. "I love you and I want to be with you forever. Won't you have me?" He asks and Cas can feel his heart race. "Let me be your mate, Castiel."  
  
" _Yes_ ," Castiel breathes, and Dean has him pushed back on to the bed the second the word leaves his mouth. "I love you. I love you so much, Dean," Castiel whispers as Dean ravishes his neck.  
  
"Mmmmm Cas, my angel," he answers and then he finds Cas's mouth. This kiss is not like the kisses they shared between them all morning. This kiss is full of passion and need. This kiss has both of them getting hard and desperate for one another. This kiss has Castiel’s hips moving up to press against his lover's. This kiss is leading to more.  
  
Dean trails kisses down the chest he was lovingly caressing earlier, and stops to ravish Cas's nipples the way he knows he likes. He can't resist running his hand all the way down to slip under the waist band of Cas's pants to get him all the way hard, fast. "Dean," Castiel groans.  
  
"Shhhh, angel, I got you. I love you," he whispers. He lowers his mouth to spend some time latched on to Cas's hip bones with his mouth. He sucks hard and bites down to leave a dark purple mark there, and then drags his tongue across Cas's body to do the same to the other side. "Mine," he says as he kisses the second spot softly.  
  
"Yours," Cas answers automatically.  
  
Dean pushes his body up and swings a leg over Cas to straddle him. He feels Cas's hard cock rub against the crack of his ass and he can feel the excitement thrum through his body. He rolls his hips on top of Cas and Cas gasps out his name. "You want to bury yourself inside of me, Cas?"  
  
" _Yes_ ," Cas answers desperately.  
  
"You'll be the first and the only," Dean tells him.  
  
" _Mine_ ," Cas groans as he thrusts upwards for more friction. "I want to make you feel so good, Dean, like you always make me feel," he says. He sits up to pull Dean's shirt up over his head and then attacks Dean's nipples with his mouth and rakes his fingers down his bare back. He pushes up with his hips and when Dean's body moves off of his for a split second he grabs him by the hips, lifts him, and spins him so that he lands on the bed beside him on his back.  
  
"Gets me so fucking hot when you throw me around like that, Cas. You're so strong. Turns me on so much," Dean groans at him.  
  
"You weigh nothing to me," Castiel says as he pushes him back up towards the headboard the way he wants him, and this time it's Dean who finds himself writhing under Cas as he plasters his body on top of him. It's different to be the one submitting instead of being in power, he realizes. And he likes it a lot.  
  
Castiel lets their cocks slot beside each other and find some of the friction they both so desperately want. It only lasts seconds before all he knows is that he needs to get Dean's pants off. He slithers down his body to pull them off and does the same to his own. Dean reaches beside him and holds the lube out to Cas. "I'm no angel. You need to be careful, okay?"  
  
Castiel smiles at him and says, "I would never hurt you," and he takes the lube from Dean. He slicks up his own fingers the way he has seen Dean do so many times and decides to use the same tactic Dean took with him the first time. So he starts by wrapping one slippery hand around Dean's cock. Dean thrusts into his hand mindlessly and now it's Castiel who gets to say, "You're so needy for me, Dean."  
  
And Dean laughs because he so fucking is. "It's all I've been thinking about."  
  
Castiel drags one finger from the other hand under Dean's balls and gently slides it over Dean's hole. He's surprised and pleased when Dean doesn't tense up at all. "Just do it," he says tightly, and who is Castiel to refuse what Dean wants?  
  
He goes slowly. He circles the tight ring of muscle until he feels it relax slightly and he's able to push in just the tip of his finger. He waits again for the muscle to give and pushes in further. He realizes he's abandoned Dean's dick and pumps him again for good measure. That pump of his fist opens Dean's hole a little bit further and he finally has one finger buried inside of him.  
  
"Any pain?" Castiel checks and Dean shakes his head vigorously in answer. Castiel withdraws his finger slightly and pushes in again. The third time he does it he hears a soft moan come from Dean and it goes straight to his dick. He didn't know he wanted to be inside of Dean so badly until it was offered. He keeps fingering Dean until he's loosened up enough to add another lubed-up finger. Dean moans louder and now Castiel doesn't have to check to make sure he's not hurting.  
  
He opens his fingers in a scissoring motion like he knows Dean does to him and he feels Dean's hips come up off the bed. He stops instantly to check with Dean but Dean says, "Don't stop, Cas. Feels so good." So he keeps going a little while longer. Again, he waits until he feels like a third finger could fit, and adds more lube to his fingers before he tries.  
  
"Jesus fuck," Dean calls out. There is a slight burn this time but it's just like Cas shared with him - the burn is amazing. A good burn. The next thing he feels is a radiating warmth from deep inside him spreading to his entire body. He would swear he can feel every single nerve ending in his entire body. It's on fire. Dean feels Cas hit that same spot again with his fingers and he moans louder than he thinks he's ever moaned before.  
  
Castiel can barely stand the sounds coming from Dean. He doesn't usually make much noise and hearing this alone is already almost enough to send him over the edge. Dean is nice and stretched out for him now and he thinks he's ready. He needs to be sure though.  
  
"Dean? Can I...?" Castiel asks.  
  
Dean comes back down to Earth long enough to recognize Cas is waiting for his okay. "Yes, angel. Yes. I want you... so bad, Cas."  
  
Castiel smiles and then shudders as he slicks up his cock for Dean. It feels so good all wet and slippery and he hasn't even started the main event. He takes a deep breath to shove down some of the need and then he positions himself in front of Dean. Dean nods his consent again and then Castiel nudges Dean's hole with the tip his cock. He hits that ring of muscle again and waits. Nudges against it gently until it opens for him and he sinks the head of his cock into Dean's ass for the first time.  
  
It's impossibly tight and impossibly warm. He has to fight every mating instinct he has to not push all the way in and claim him as his own. He isn't with an angel, he's with a human - _his_ human - and he needs to be careful. "Okay?" Castiel asks and Dean nods again.  
  
"Keep going," Dean says. "Slow," he adds. Castiel grabs Dean's arms and lifts them to pin them up by his head. He twines his fingers with Dean's and then does as Dean asked and waits as long as he has to for Dean to open for him inch by inch - planting soft kisses all over his face, neck, and chest while he waits - and eventually, he is inside of Dean as far as he can be.  
  
"Ugh, Cas, angel, I feel so full. I feel so fucking full," Dean gasps at him. Castiel bites down on the need to thrust inside of him and waits for Dean to get used to the feeling.  
  
"You feel so good, Dean. It's _so_ good," he praises him.  
  
"Move," Dean asks him and Castiel does. Slowly. So slowly it's almost as if it isn't happening at first. Dean is doing so well and he doesn't want a moment of this to hurt. He pulls out just a tiny bit before pushing back in. He adds a little bit more with each thrust and eventually he's able to pull almost all the way out and then slip back in. The first time he can do it without resistance Dean groans loud and dirty. "Like that, Cas. It feels so fucking good."  
  
So Castiel does it exactly the same way again. He isn't getting used to the tightness and the heat he's sinking into, instead it's like it's consuming him. Swallowing him down further and impossibly better with every stroke. He suddenly remembers Dean's prostate and knows he needs to change the angle to hit it. Still buried in Dean, he les go of his hands to lift Dean's lower body as he gets to his knees. The minute he sinks himself into Dean in this position, he knows he's hit it by the way Dean clenches around his cock.  
  
" _Yes_!" Dean calls out. "Oh my - Oh Cas!" he corrects himself. "Cas, Cas, Cas," he moans in time with Cas's thrusts. Saying his name reminds him what this is for and his eyes snap open to met Cas's. "Cas? I... I want you to be my mate. I love you, Castiel," he says with feeling. "Be my mate." Dean feels Cas's thrusts slow down as Cas throws his head back in ecstasy.  
  
He watches at Cas's skin starts to glow that bright and breathtaking blue. He sees it glow in Cas's eyes, and can feel his own grace tingling along his skin. "Oh, Dean," Castiel finally breathes happily. "I love you. I will love you for eternity,” he says fiercely. And because he's Cas, he checks one more time, "Are you absolutely certain?"  
  
"Never been more sure of anything. I want you. I want to belong to you. I want to be your mate."  
  
Castiel can feel tears making their way down his cheeks. This is all he's ever wanted. He begins moving again, faster this time, because now his body and his grace are both racing towards his orgasm. He wants to claim this man to be his and he needs to come to do it. He's never wanted anything more than this.  
  
He murmurs endearments to Dean non-stop. "Dean Winchester. Everything I've ever wanted. Everything to me. My best friend. My love. My mate," his voice breaks on a sob. He can feel the pleasure gathering in his stomach, he can feel his grace straining to leave him. He can feel Dean's grace calling to him stronger than anything he has ever felt.  
  
"Cas, please. I'm so close," Dean warns him.  
  
Castiel knows he is seconds away and wants Dean with him. He spreads his own legs so that they open further into a squat and pulls Dean up to him so that Dean is braced against his thighs and now that they're face-to-face he finally finds his lips in a sloppy, searing kiss. He never breaks the kiss as he helps Dean fuck himself on his cock. He hears Dean call out his name almost at the same time he feels a hot wetness on his stomach and then Castiel can feel his own orgasm crash into him like a wave.  
  
The moment he feels the first spurt shoot from him he can see a bright light explode from between the two of them. He rides out the remainder of his orgasm quickly and then immediately lifts Dean off of him because he knows he wants to see this. He's dreamed about it for so long.  
  
Dean's jaw drops as he sees an almost too-bright ball of grace shoot out from Cas's chest to suspend in the air between them. It sounds like a fire crackling and burning. He sees that it's still attached to Cas's body by small rope-like tendrils of grace. Just when he thought he couldn't be more amazed he sees a smaller, duller (but still intensely bright) ball of his own grace come from his chest to do the same thing. The two balls are pulled together as if by magnets, and the moment they touch both Cas and Dean gasp simultaneously.  
  
Castiel reaches out and grips Dean by the shoulders and Dean grabs a hold of him by his elbows. They watch, wide-eyed, as the two different colours of grace slowly touch each other as if being introduced for the first time. It's as if they're hugging and caressing each other. Every touch sends intense happiness, pleasure, and love to both Cas and Dean. Bit by bit the two pieces of grace intertwine before their eyes until finally they are mixed so thouroughly together that it's impossible to tell where one begins and the other ends.  
  
The brightest shot of colour so far shoots straight up into the air and Dean and Cas both know it's gone up into the sky to announce their bond to the Heavens. Almost reluctantly, the mixed ball of grace splits into two masses and starts to slowly pour back into their bodies. Dean thinks it's like sunlight pouring directly into his body. It's easily the best thing he's ever felt. The happiest he has ever been. Dean closes his eyes to savour the feeling but hears Castiel say, "Dean. My mate, please look at me."  
  
So he opens his eyes to make eye contact with Cas as the last of their grace makes its way inside of them both. Once it's completely inside both of them, they throw their arms around each other and in their excitement they topple over on to the bed. Castiel lands mostly on top of Dean and finds his mouth. Tears are still streaming down his face and Dean breaks away to wipe every one of them away.  
  
"Are you okay, angel?" Dean asks.  
  
Castiel's answer is to send a surge of happiness across to Dean and the intensity of the feeling brings tears to his own eyes. "Cas," he croaks at him. He smiles through his tears and says, "I'm yours. I'm your mate, Cas." And then Cas is laughing and kissing him and they are covered in each other's happy tears.  
  
"This... this is the happiest moment of my life, Dean. Thank you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for giving this to me. I belong to you. You -"  
  
"I belong to you," Dean finishes for him and feels the same certainty inside himself - inside what he knows now is his soul - that Cas does. He will love this man for the rest of his life. He feels his own tears fall hot down his face. "I will love you every day of my life, Castiel. I will _never_ stop loving you." He kisses Cas softly and says, "Thank you. Thank you for giving me this." And then Cas is laughing again, and Dean pulls him in to cradle him in his arms.  
  
This is love. This is happiness. Dean feels it swell inside of him. This is everything he never thought he'd have, everything he never thought he deserved, and he knows with a fierceness that startles even himself that he will fight with every fibre of his being to keep it until the day he dies.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"We're gonna prove them wrong.  
>  They can't touch me 'cause I got you."_

Dean finally hears from Sam only to find he's going to spend their last day here with Donna, which actually works out pretty well for him and Cas because neither one of them wants to leave their bed anyway. They spend the rest of their last day of vacation much like they spent their morning: completely wrapped up in one another. They only get of bed to eat, and when Dean finally talks Cas into the shower with him before bed.  
  
Castiel finds he doesn't mind the water on his face all that much when Dean is buried inside of him. He thinks he might even learn to enjoy showers if they always end with both of them too weak to stand.  
  
After they climb into bed and Dean snuggles into his nook Castiel asks a question that's been on his mind all day. "Are you going to tell Sam that we've mated?"  
  
"'Course," he answers. "Probably won't tell anybody else though. People won't really get it, you know?"  
  
Castiel nods. He wishes there was a way that everybody could see that they have chosen to be together forever the way that angels can, but at least he has this, and it's more than he ever thought he'd get.  
  
"I understand," Castiel answers him.  
  
"We'll have to get married so that people'll know."  
  
"What!?" Castiel says in surprise.  
  
"What? You didn't think I was going to let you have me the angel way and not want to do it the human way, did you?"  
  
"I - I didn't think about it," Castiel says honestly. Is he proposing to him? "Are you...?"  
  
"Pfft. Trust me, you'll know when I'm proposing, Cas. I got you," he promises as he kisses his neck softly.  
  
"Goodnight, Dean. Thank you for the best day I've ever had," Castiel says quietly.  
  
"Love you, Cas," Dean answers happily. And it's the easiest he drifts off to sleep so far, because he knows he's going to wake up loving his angel again tomorrow, and every day for the rest of his life.  
  
*****  
  
The next morning they wake up bright and early and hit the beach one more time before it's time to go. Dean sends a text to Sam to tell him where they'll be, and as Dean and Cas are swimming they see him walk up the beach and lay out on his towel like he did the first day they got here. Sam sends them a big wave and they both wave back before they continue floating and talking in the water.  
  
Sam watches them from the beach and thinks how perfect this whole trip ended up being. He didn't know when he got here if he would manage to get Dean to admit his feelings for Cas, and here they are a week later in love and by the looks of it, unable to keep their hands off each other. He doesn't know how things are going to work out when they get back home later today, but he has a feeling he's going to have to announce his presence every time he walks into a room for a really long time. Pretty soon he sees Cas and Dean make their way over to him and he stands and calls out, "How was the water?"  
  
"Perfect!" Dean says as he walks towards him.  
  
"Did you say goodbye to Donna?" Castiel asks.  
  
"Yah," Sam says with a sigh as he shakes the sand off of his towel. "She's a great girl but you know relationships don't work with what we do," he says to Dean.  
  
"Unless of course you mate with an angel like I did," Dean says as he wraps his arm around Cas's waist.  
  
"You - you _mated_ with Cas!?!" Sam shouts in shock.  
  
"Shhh!" Dean says sharply as he sees heads turn their way. "Keep it down, man."  
  
"Dean! Do you know what that means!?! You're stuck with Cas now no matter what!" He looks at Cas and says, "No offence, man."  
  
Cas's eyebrows draw together in confusion. He thought Sam liked him.  
  
"Of course I know what it means, dummy. Do you think Cas would trick me into something like that!?" Dean asks as he throws a shirt on top of his wet body.  
  
Sam looks back at Cas sheepishly and says, "No, of course not. Sorry, Cas. I'm just surprised. Extremely surprised, actually. It seems so sudden."  
  
"I get that," Dean nods. "Cas needed some convincing, too. But I love him and it's not gonna stop. So we went for it," he smiles at Cas. "Sorry you couldn't be there, but -"  
  
"I know how angels mate, Dean," Sam says and Dean feels his face grow hot. "Regardless," he continues, "I'm happy for you guys. Congratulations," he smiles.  
  
"Thank you, Sam," Castiel says politely.  
  
"I guess we're kinda brothers-in-law now, huh? According to angel law anyway," he smiles.  
  
"Wait until we get hitched for real. You'll be the best man, right? After me I mean," Dean jokes and Cas laughs.  
  
"You're engaged too!?"  
  
"Nah, not yet. Gotta get a ring first," Dean smiles. "I'm only gonna do this once so I wanna make sure I do it right." He lets his fingers twine with Cas's and they walk through their hotel room one more time to grab their bags on the way out.  
  
"I love you," Castiel says happily.  
  
Dean smiles and Sam runs his hands through his hair in an uncomfortable gesture. "Guess I better get used to hearing that from you two, huh?"  
  
"Not the only thing you'll have to get used to hearing," Dean jokes with his usual eyebrow wiggle.  
  
Sam rolls his eyes. "You guys are staying at the bunker then?"  
  
"'Course, Sammy. Might have to put some empty rooms between us, but I'm not gonna take off on you. You're the one who got us together in the first place!"  
  
Sam lets a laugh roll out of him. "You have no idea," he says.  
  
Cas and Dean exchange a confused look but shrug if off.  
  
They all load their stuff into the trunk of Baby and Dean opens the back door for Cas. Cas climbs in and Dean kisses him long and hard knowing it will be hours before he does it again. Then he shuts the door and climbs in the driver's seat.  
  
Castiel looks at Dean behind the wheel and Sam in the passenger seat and he somehow knows that this how it was supposed to be all along. He hears the purr of Baby's engine and the old rock music Dean loves starts playing. He absorbs the smell of leather and gasoline and everything he has always associated with Dean and feels a sense of peace overcome his body. He has his whole life in front of him now and while he has no idea what to expect from here, he knows he'll have Dean, and that's enough.  
  
As if Dean can read his mind, he meets his eyes in the rear view mirror and says with the kind of smile he saves only for Cas, "Let's go home."  
  
Castiel only knows one other three-word phrase that sounds better than that. He smiles back at the man that he loves and echoes, "Let's go home."  
  
And they do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW!
> 
> Thank you so much to everybody who read this all the way through. I can't even begin to tell you how satisfying this has been for me! What an experience! Thank you so much for every comment you left - it really helped motivate me to write more!
> 
> This is the end of this story, but this isn't the end of these characters. I still have ideas for things I want them to experience together (who doesn't want to see Dean propose to Castiel!?) so I will be making this into a series.
> 
> I don't think it will come along as fast as this one did, but keep an eye out for it!
> 
> ETA: You can read the next part (in progress) [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10180616/chapters/22612379)!
> 
> Thank you again! Couldn't have done this without you!
> 
> PS. Some of the lyrics I posted as Chapter Summaries are from a song called "I Got You," by Nick Carter. Obviously where I got the title for this story, because every time I hear that song I think of Dean and Cas. Give it a listen if you want! :)


End file.
